Intermission
by carolinaspen
Summary: Can Sidney Crosby have the happily ever after? Glimpses into a life designed by surprise, but built on love.
1. Chapter One: The Proposal

_***Author's note: Hi everyone! New story. Going to move at a much more rapid pace than Superstition. This story will be more like glimpses into significant moments for Sidney and Caroline. Hope you enjoy!***_

Caroline looked miserably out the window at the gray and desolate landscape that comes when it's early March and it seems like winter will never end. It was appropriate though, the overcast sky and the skeleton trees created a somber mood for the drive home. She cast a glance at Sidney in the driver's seat and studied his profile for a few seconds, hoping not to draw too much attention to her stare. His jaw was set and his eyes glued to the road. His body was tense, tight and on high alert as evidenced by the white knuckle clutch he had on the steering wheel. He was so handsome. There wasn't a time she looked at him that she didn't appreciate the flush of his cheeks, the sharpness of his jaw. His prominent nose and those large lips that knew just exactly how to draw out her deepest desires. His dark eyes that looked her with such reverence, such love, but now couldn't even meet hers.

Caroline sighed inwardly, not wanting to break the silence of the Range Rover as it traveled down the freeway at a high speed that was uncharacteristic for his typically safe driving. Caroline looked away and down at her hands. She stared at her fingers, particularly the left ring finger that lay bare on her lap and felt the sadness wash over her.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly for what seemed like the 100th time in the past 16 hours.

He didn't look at her, just kept his eyes on the road and pressed the gas a little harder.

"I know."

* * *

_Twenty-four hours earlier_

Sidney stood nervously on Caroline's front stoop as his fingers rolled the black velvet box around in his pocket. He hadn't stopped thinking of the proposal for nearly a month. What he would do, where he would do it. What he would say. It was all he thought about. He had found the ring a few weeks earlier during a road trip to New York. Caroline had once told him a story about how her parents had gotten engaged in New York. Her face had gotten this dreamy faraway look as she told Sidney about how they had gone away for the weekend to New York City. How Mr. Reid had proposed to Caroline's mom in Central Park on a sunny May morning. How they had gone to Tiffany's & Co. to pick out an extremely modest ring that had still cost a fortune. He had been in the world famous shop for only a few minutes when he had seen it. The Tiffany setting on a white gold band. Beautiful and elegant. The diamond sparkled in the shop and Sidney could picture it on her finger. He knew it was perfect. It wasn't the biggest ring in the store but he knew if he spent a dime more than he had on the ring that she would be outraged. Frugal to the core, her resistance to money and gifts never seemed to wane.

Ten minutes later and $36,000 lighter he left the shop with the box snug in his suit pocket. He wouldn't take the piece of jewelry out of his sight.

And he hadn't. Not once. He worried all the time about her finding it. Just a week ago, right before the road trip, as their clothes lay on his bedroom floor and Caroline laid naked in his arms the secret had almost been blown. She had promised to make him French toast in the morning and when they had woken she extracted herself from his bed and went to his dresser to grab a t-shirt, like she had done tons of times before. Knowing the ring sat at the bottom of the top drawer, he had shot out of bed like a cannon and stopped her just in time. Unable to think of an excuse for his behavior, he had distracted her in other ways, as they fell back into bed in a tangle of limbs, all thoughts of the French toast forgotten. He had waited for the perfect time to present it to her and it had finally come. It was their three month anniversary of their first date. It was ridiculous that after only three months he was ready to take this step but he knew with such complete and utter certainty that this was it. She was it. And he couldn't wait any longer.

A full minute after his knocking, Caroline finally came to the door. She immediately looked surprised and somewhat embarrassed when she saw him as she was dressed in oversized sweats, had her hair up in a messy bun and held a bottle of cleaner in one hand and a rag in the other. Not a speck of makeup on her face but her cheeks flushed from the cleaning she had been doing all afternoon. A split second however a wide grin bloomed across her face and she threw herself into his arms, so happy to see the man she loved for the first time in nearly a week.

She smelled like lemons and bleach and her cheek was clammy as it pressed into his neck. His arms came around her and he returned the embrace with equal fervor, the feeling of peace washing over him as it so often did when she was around. He murmured his greeting into her ear, as she echoed the hello with a breathy whisper.

Pulling back, she pulled him out of the cold winter air and into the warmth of her home. Light music filled the space and her place looked tidy and cozy.

Caroline smiled brilliantly at him as she set down the cleaning supplies and fell back into his arms, her mouth instinctively lifting up to meet his as his lips descended on hers. After a few moments he broke the kiss and pulled back, his hand coming up to brush her hair back from her face.

"I missed you," he said with a nervous smile.

Caroline just beamed at him, "I missed you too. I wasn't expecting you for a few more hours." She self consciously pulled at her old t-shirt that was worn with holes, two of which were dangerous close to her breasts and Sid could barely take his eyes off of as he zeroed in on the bright pink sports bra that she wore underneath.

"I know I'm early," Sid replied grinning, his eyes lifting back up to hers. "I have a surprise for you."

Caroline immediately brightened, "A surprise?"

Sid nodded and filled her in on his plans. It was only for twenty-four hours, since she had school and he had practice. A drive up to the mountains, then a couple's massage, dinner and finally a stroll through the wooden trails where the trees would be cloaked in white and he would declare his love and commitment to her for eternity. It sounded cheesy, but it would be perfect. He of course didn't tell her that part. Caroline squealed with delight and scurried off to get ready for the getaway.

Sid paced her living room, the anxiety coming back. He ran the words through his head over and over. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he walked over towards it and gave himself a long hard look.

He took a deep breath and quietly spoke into the mirror, "Caroline. I don't remember my life without you. You are my everything. I love you more and more everyday; please do me the honor of becoming my wife." His voice squeaked at the end and he made a face into the mirror. The last thing he needed was to mess this up. He was a perfectionist and this is when he needed to be flawless. He felt like something was missing. He could tell her a thousand times how much he loved her, but he needed that special something. Those perfect string of words that let her know what all those feelings he had inside truly meant.

He took a seat on her lumpy couch and stared at his hands, he focused on the setting and the words trying to picture the whole thing. It worked for his games; it could maybe work for this too.

He was broken out of his thoughts by the sound of her entering the room. Caroline had showered and blown dried her hair as it lay in soft waves over her shoulders. She had put on some light make up and wore a flowing flowered dress with a cream colored cardigan, leggings and boots. As always, she looked wonderful.

The drive went by quickly. The roads were clear, although snow lay on the ground and it was cold. Caroline chatted away as she shared with him her week and everything going on at school. She was really excited about a project she had been asked to head and how it had taken up a lot of her extra time this past week. Truth be told Sidney was only half listening. Its not that he didn't care. He did. He just was so anxious. It was such a foreign feeling that he didn't really know what to do with it. He didn't really have any skills on how to deal with these types of feelings. They just didn't really happen to him. He typically had nerves of steel, although it seemed like everything he had ever known and had thought to be secure in had changed over the past few months. Things that he had grown so accustom to blocking out or just not dealing with, he now faced head on. He had Caroline to thank for that. She insisted on dealing with things as they happened, even if he didn't want to. She always told him that it didn't mean she had the answers, but she at least knew you couldn't just ignore a problem. It wouldn't go away. No, instead it would eat away at you until the line between a lie and the truth became blurred beyond recognition. She was brave. Really really brave. She would never agree with him on that though. She often came up with at least ten examples that disputed his claim, but he couldn't be swayed. Not with all that had happened to them. The challenges and obstacles of combining their two worlds that seem so different but in reality weren't had come at a rapid pace and they had survived them all. She was brave and that was one of the million things he loved so much about her.

The drive went by quickly, Caroline thought. Sidney seemed distracted but at the same time very affectionate. His hand was firm on her thigh for most of the trip and though she could tell he wasn't really listening to her, the repetitive movement of his warm palm moving up and down her leg was soothing and was enough for her. He would move his hand up to her hair every once in a while, his fingers idly threading through the soft locks or his hand would find hers and he would link their fingers together and run the pads of his fingertips against her knuckles as her small hand would disappear in his mammoth one.

They pulled up to the grand resort and soon were making their way up to the suite. Sid spoke enthusiastically about the activities he had planned as Caroline just smiled broadly, holding his hand tight in hers and leaned into him, just grateful to have the time together. She looked up at his profile, listening to him talk about the new additions to the menu that he thought she would enjoy when she noticed two small freckles near the edge of his jaw. She had his face memorized but had never noticed the markings before. For some reason they turned her on.

A lot.

Caroline just stared at his moving jaw as a wave of desire washed over her. She couldn't hear anything he was saying, she just stared at those two tiny marks that moved as he spoke. Without thinking she reached up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to the spot. It seemed softer and sweeter than any other part of his skin and Caroline's head became fuzzy. Sid stopped talking at looked at Caroline in a mix of amused confusion and utter desire.

He led them to the suite and once the door behind them had been closed, she pounced.

"I want you so bad," she breathed, her mouth ghosting over his. "I missed you so so much," she continued as her lips found his and her arms linked around his neck, pressing every inch of herself up against his solid form. Her fingers immediately set to work.

Sid didn't have a second to think before he was met with an armful of Caroline. She literally threw off her jacket and scarf and set to work on his outerwear. Once his coat and hat had been removed, Sid took charge. He scooped her up bridal style and carried her into adjoining room, where they had christened that bed just a few months ago.

In the lightly dimmed room, he dropped her onto the bed and in the shadows Caroline giggled. Crawling towards her like a predator stalking his prey, Sid had a dark and heady look in his eyes. Caroline stopped giggling and bit at her lower lip, her arousal almost palpable. She missed him dearly during these road trips, but the reunions were always so satisfying. Caroline outstretched her arms and drew Sidney into her. His mouth found hers and Caroline just closed her eyes letting herself just feel the suppleness of his lips, the heaviness of his tongue, the scrap of his teeth over her lips. His heat surrounded her and she put one hand on his jaw and the other around his neck. The pressure of his body on hers only fueled her desire and Caroline worked at removing his black sweater and pulled at the t-shirt he wore underneath. They broke apart only for a moment, so that he could drag her dress over her head. Then he was there…everywhere, all over again. Removing what was left of her clothes; his eyes roved her body, every part of her imprinted in his mind. All the spots that he loved to tease and worship. The areas where she was most responsive and the areas that were the most ticklish. He smiled into her clavicle as his tongue tasted her. The taste he was so ravenous for since he had last seen her. In just a few moments he divested the remainder of his clothes and Sidney's hands came to Caroline's waist. Positioning her underneath him, his hand found its way down between her legs. Breathing deeply into her neck, he peppered her with wet kisses as his fingers explored the soaking heat. Caroline arched into him, her hand covering his and pressing his further into her while the other clutched at the hair that brushed against his neck. Caroline's approval of his fingers filled the room with the sounds of moans and sighs. He felt her get close and in a split second his had removed his fingers and surged into her. Her body immediately accepting the part of him that she had been made for. Sid groaned into Caroline's neck and began thrusting into her. She found the rhythm quite easily and met his movements. Pulling his head from the column of her neck he looked at her, her eyes shut and her face set in concentration of the sensations happening between her thighs. His fingertips brushed lightly at the fuchsia spot on the point of her cheeks and whispered, "Caroline."

Her eyes opened and he saw her in the most intimate way possible and knowing that he was the only person ever to see her like this nearly sent him into climax. "I love you," he said, his mouth pressing into hers as his hips snapped methodically into her. She just gave him a weak smile and hoarsely whispered back, "me too," just as her face screwed into a look of pained pleasure, the feelings becoming too much. Sensing her impending completion, Sid shifted her hips forward and brought her legs up and over his shoulders, as he drove deeper and deeper into her. It was more than she could take and within a few seconds she seized and shuddered, the sensations of her orgasm crashing over her. With a few more thrusts and with his tongue heavy in her mouth, Sid found his completion as he emptied himself deep inside of her.

He collapsed on top of Caroline, as her arms came around him, holding him tight to her, the afterglow her favorite part. Caroline took deep gulps of air, trying to regulate her breathing. Sid gently brought her legs down to the mattress and his head dropped down into her neck, his sweaty skin coating her with a smell that so was so uniquely him. He could hear nothing but the erratic sound of her breathing and the kick drum of her heart. Caroline's fingers threaded through his damp hair as she basked in the feeling on him on top of her, the crush of his body more of a comfort than anything else. Her body underneath his, the feeling of her skin on his, it was his home. No matter what happened, as long as he had her, everything was right with the world.

"I think we can still make dinner," she said with a teasing laugh into the crown of his head and breaking the intensity of the air around them and her lips kissing his downy hair.

"Marry me," he whispered into her neck.

Caroline stopped laughing.

"Wha…" she started.

He lifted himself off her and looked deep into her eyes. His hand brushed at her cheek. "I love you Care, more than I have ever loved anyone or anything in my life. Be with me forever, marry me." Sid's voice was low and quiet laced with emotion.

Caroline swore she stopped breathing. She just gaped at him, not quite putting the pieces together.

Sidney lifted off of her for a moment and leaned over the side of the bed. Extending out his arm, he fished around to his jeans pocket, he pulled out a black velvet box.

Caroline definitely stopped breathing.

Sid moved himself to the side of Caroline and drew her close. Dropping his forehead down to hers, he gazed tenderly into her eyes.

"I wanted to do this right. You know all romantic after dinner. But Care, god, I just can't hold it in any longer." He snapped the velvet box open and the most beautiful ring Caroline had ever seen shined back at her. It was gorgeous and huge.

Caroline swallowed her eyes fixed on the ring before her.

"Caroline Elizabeth Reid," his voice was hoarse in the low light of the hotel room. "Will you do the honor of becoming my wife?"

Caroline's eyes swam with tears and she looked up at his hopeful and lovely face.

Finally she spoke.

"I…I don't know what to say," she choked out.

Sid gave a nervous laugh.

"You could start by saying yes," he said grinning.

Caroline blinked and the tears spilled over.

"I…I can't."

It was like all the air in the room disappeared without a sound and all of a sudden Sidney couldn't breathe either. He stared at her as he watched her mouth move, but all he could hear was the sound of a tornado, whooshing in his head. Tears streamed down her face and her mouth moved quickly, words like I'm sorry, too soon and not ready poured from her mouth and Sid watched just watched the tremble of her lips and the tears as they fell down her cheeks and into the corner of her mouth.

And suddenly he was angry. Waves of disappointment and frustration crashed over him and he felt…empty. He tossed the open box on the bed and in a shot he was up and out of bed. Caroline was caught off guard by the sudden movement and scrambled up to the headboard, pulling up the covers tight to her chest. He stood there accusingly for a moment, his body one giant coil of tension.

"Sid," Caroline started, her eyes pleading with his. "I just need…"

"I get it," he said in a petulant tone. "You don't need to say anything I get it."

"I'm sorry," she said desperately, trying to meet his eyes. This was crazy. She barely knew how to be a girlfriend, how could she be a wife? This moment right now was a perfect example. She didn't know what to say…she should know what to say. She should say yes. But she couldn't. It was all too soon. In the split second she saw that ring everything just closed in over her. Expectations, loss of privacy forever, sharing a life with someone who was gone half the time. It wasn't fair, but it was true. Not even four months ago she had resigned herself to a solitary life, where she depended on only herself. She loved having him around, missed him terribly when he was gone, but she still had some independence. That would all change. She was panicked, she needed more time. She knew without a fraction of a doubt that she wanted to be with him forever. She often fantasized of their wedding day; of their children…she even fantasized about the proposal. How he would say all the words he had just said and that it would be…perfect.

But it didn't feel perfect. It felt scary. It was something that she could dream about in the safety of her imagination. But this. It was happening and it was real. And it was terrifying.

"I'm sorry she repeated again, as he reached for his clothes and sat on the edge of the bed, tugging on his clothing.

She crawled over to him. How much had changed in just a few minutes. She put her hand on his shoulder and she felt him tense under her touch.

It broke her heart.

"I love you, Sid. I love you so so much," she rushed out. He had to know before he left as it was looking like what he was about to do. "I want to be with you forever too, I do, so much, but we've only been together for three months. It's just so soon. There is…" she didn't know what else to say. She just needed him to not leave her. She couldn't bear it.

"I get it," his voice was tight and distant and sounded very much like he didn't get it.

She was supposed to say yes was all he could think.

Sidney turned his head to look at her. Her blotchy face, with wet eyes and soaked red cheeks, begging him to understand. And somewhere in the back of his head, a tiny part of him that he had repeatedly ignored told him she was right. It was so soon. But it just felt so right.

"I'm gonna go for a walk," he said gruffly and a second later he was out of the room and she was alone. With a box that lay opened on the bed, the diamond sparkling in the low light and making shadows on the wall.

Caroline shakily picked up the box and stared at the ring. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. She struggled within herself. The feelings of wanting to slip that ring onto her finger and promise to be by his side forever battled with the paralyzing fear of surrendering her life to another person. A person so visible. She didn't want to but her mind went to straight to what everyone would say when they found out that Sidney Crosby was off the market. She had gotten used to the dirty looks; she avoided everything she was supposed to. She had even deleted her Facebook page and had her number changed. Mrs. Crosby, it thrilled her as much as it terrified her. She wasn't ready. She knew she would be…someday. But not today and with that thought she just broke down and sobbed.

Caroline cried herself to sleep. She woke a few hours later and looked at the clock. !0:30. For a moment she had forgotten where she was. But then it all came flooding back to her. Sid wasn't in the room, but she could hear the sound of the television and its light glow under the French doors. The ring still sat on the fluffy down comforter and she stared at it for a moment, and then snapped it shut. She carefully set it on the nightstand and looked for something to wear.

Wrapped in a hotel robe, Caroline gently opened the door to the other part of the suite and saw Sid sitting on the sofa, his eyes intent on the television screen.

"Sid?" she started off tentatively, creeping towards him slowly like he was a deer and she feared she may spook him into running away.

He looked tired and worn. His eyes were weary on hers, but there was still a trace of him in the gaze.

"Hey," he said quietly, his eyes back on the TV.

"Hey," she repeated softly as she came closer. She noticed again how his body tightened, how he closed himself off from her. Ignoring the signs that only made her more miserable, she sat down next to him.

"I'm sorry," she said again, soft and sorrowful.

"Stop saying that," he said quickly, not meanly but more exasperated. "I don't need you to apologize."

"I need you to know that I love you," she continued, lifting herself as she tucked her legs underneath her. Sitting on her legs brought her up to his eye level and allowed her to align her body closer to his. She reached out her hand, her fingers drawn out seeking the softness of his hair, anxious to touch him, to sooth him. He jerked his head away in the slightest of movements, but she got the picture and dropped her hand. Nevertheless, she forged ahead. "I don't want to ever be without you. Please tell me this isn't the end. I…I couldn't stand it, I swear I wouldn't be able to survive it," her voice cracked and the tears started all over again.

The pain in her voice broke him and he looked at her. He wanted everything to be okay again, but the hurt…it was so raw.

"I…I thought it was time," he finally said looking into her swimming eyes. "I know it seemed sudden, but with everything we have been through, I thought…I wanted it to be time. I couldn't bear it either. That's why I did this," he said in a unusually defeated tone as he looked down dumbly at the remote in his hands.

Caroline needed him to understand, to know that she wanted to be with him too, that he wasn't crazy thinking that this was right. It was all just so sudden. She spoke quickly, "There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about it. I want to marry you. I've wanted to marry you since the moment you took me to the Consol and brought me into your world. Your world that is insane and most of the time I can't make sense of it…but you make sense. We make sense and that is enough. It's more than enough, its everything I could ever dream of. But it doesn't change the fact that you are my first relationship and this is all new to me. And I don't want to mess it up. I just need more time."

He looked back up at her and his eyes were wet. Caroline didn't know what to do. She had never seen such emotion before and to see him cry, well she didn't know if she could stand that. He was the strong one, the sensible one.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," she said desperately, her eyes boring into his. "I want to live in your house, I want to be your wife, I want to have your babies," her voice caught. "But I'm just not ready and I hate that. But its how I feel and I can't ignore it."

He heaved a heavy sigh and swiped at his eyes.

"You'll tell me when you're ready?" he asked, his voice a little more sure.

Caroline nodded fervently, "I promise. Please don't give up on me," she knew she sounded pathetic but she needed to know.

He gave a sad smile, "I won't."

Caroline surged towards him but was met with his withdraw.

"I understand Caroline, but my feelings, well I still feel what I feel. I'm going to need some time too. I'm…" he swallowed, still not entirely comfortable with being so vocal about his feelings, especially these, "I'm disappointed and hurt. I will get over it, but its still there, you know?"

Caroline nodded. She carefully leaned forward and pressed her lips gently to his temple. "I'm sorry Sid. I'm sorry I hurt you."

He didn't say anything. They sat there for a few minutes in silence. Not touching, but in close proximity. The evening having turned from perfect to disaster to emotionally exhausting.

After a few minutes, Sidney announced he was heading for bed. Caroline didn't seem to know what to do with herself. Should she sleep on the couch? He had made it to the doors when he cast a look over his shoulder and asked if she was coming.

She nodded and scrambled off the couch and behind him into the room. She made herself busy with her overnight bag, as she watched out of the corner of her eye as he picked up the box from the nightstand and put it into his suitcase.

They didn't really touch once they got into bed. Caroline hated this in between feeling, but it was better than losing him forever, so she settled in underneath the covers and felt the bed dip down beside her.

"Good night, Care." his voice quiet as he turned off the light.

"Good night Sid, I love you." her voice equally quiet.

"Me too."

* * *

And now here they were. The morning had been awkward with the drive not much better. Caroline wasn't really sure where they went from here. She hoped they would still keep up with their routines. That nothing had changed. It was naïveté mixed with wishful thinking but she hoped it anyway.

They finally made their way down the familiar route of her street. It was still early. When they woke, they had just packed their things up and gone. No couples massage, no dinner, no engagement.

Sid pulled up Caroline's driveway and cut the engine. "Do you want to come in for a little while?" she asked tentatively.

"No, I've got a lot of emails to catch up on and some calls to make," he said hollowly.

Caroline swallowed back the feeling of disappointment and the sharp prick behind her eyes.

"Ok, I understand."

She started to get out of the car, when she felt his hand on her arm.

"But, um, if you want, you could come over later. Maybe we could make dinner, catch up on some TV?" his voice was hesitant.

Caroline smiled, "Yeah, I'd like that."

The corner of his mouth turned up almost imperceptibly. Caroline knew things would be rocky for a little while but for now it was enough.


	2. Chapter 2: Disconnect

_***Author's note: Thank you everyone for the great support on the new story. I have done some brainstorming and altering to my vision of this story. Going to move a little slower than I expected, but hoping its worth it to create some depth and experience for Sidney and Caroline. Your reviews and two wins in a row are giving me great motivation!***_

"You what?" Sara exclaimed causing a slight scene during the lunch rush of Hop Sing's in downtown Pittsburgh. Nearby diners looked over with a mix of irritation and curiosity. Caroline was not in the mood for any attention drawn to her or this conversation, which she should have done in private and not in the usual lunch spot for the two friends.

"Shhhh, geez Sara, I don't need the whole restaurant knowing my business." Caroline chastised her friend. Caroline had spent the past few months maneuvering through her new found celebrity and learning how to maintain her low profile. Unfortunately, Sara didn't know the meaning of low profile.

"Sweetie, the whole city knows your business, remember?" Sara replied with an irritatingly knowing look.

"Well, I don't need to add any fuel to the fire and this is a big deal." Caroline said sadly.

"Sorry, sorry, I know." Sara replied, her voice now much quieter. "I just…I just can't believe you said no. Caroline, what were you thinking?"

Caroline found herself growing more and more defensive. "I…well…it's only been three months! I mean that is way too short of time to be ready to marry someone. There are so many things I don't know about. Like what does he do when he's not playing? Does he still live here? Does he live in Canada? Would I have to go live in Canada? Does he want children, how many and how would we raise them? Would they be Canadian? I don't even know what his political beliefs are, does he even vote? And then there is…the money. I don't know how to deal with the money situation. I don't want to be dependant on him. And what if it doesn't work out? What if…what if things change and he doesn't want to do this anymore? Once we are married, that's it. I don't want to be divorced. And I haven't even met his sister or his grandparents or his dog! And then there's—"

"Caroline! Caroline, take a breath." Sara cut in. "You are all over the place. You need to relax. Did you talk to him about any of these things?"

Caroline took a few deep breaths. "Yeah, a little. But, it has just been so awkward the past few weeks and well I don't know how to fix it," she finished miserably.

She wasn't even going to tell Sara about the proposal but after the week she had had, Caroline couldn't keep it in any longer. To be honest the past few weeks had been rough. She and Sid seemed so disconnected. He had insisted he wasn't angry but he just feel so out of reach. It didn't help matters that he was nearing the end of the season and the playoffs were just a week away. A series of road trips had kept the two apart quite a bit. For Caroline, she had just recently been asked to head a new project at the elementary school. Garfield Elementary was becoming an International school. It was a great opportunity for the Title 1 School and its students. Based on the proposal Caroline and the committee put forward, the school would be paired with a grade school in Portugal to be their sister school. Activities like Skype sessions, pen pal programs and country studies would enhance the children's understanding of a world beyond Pittsburgh and Caroline was really excited to be part of it. But the project was taking up a lot more time than she had expected. They had only seen each other a handful of times and even then it seemed like Caroline was always saying the wrong thing or Sid was distracted with something hockey related and wasn't even listening to what she was saying. Caroline tried not to get frustrated. She knew the next month or (hopefully) two would be super hectic and that it was all part of the package, nevertheless the already tenuous relationship was becoming more and more strained.

"Do you love him?" Sara's question broke Caroline's distracted thoughts.

"What? Yes, yes. Of course I do." Caroline said quickly. She paused however on the next part. "The thing is well, we haven't…you know, since the proposal." Caroline's face went totally crimson as she confessed the very intimate detail to her friend.

Sara's eyes widened a bit and her chunk of sweet and sour shrimp landed back onto the plate with a light plop. "Really?" Caroline hadn't wanted to have this conversation. But the truth was she was worried. Sid had been somewhat cool the night they had gotten back from the Woodlands. After dinner they watched a movie, sitting close but not snuggling like they usually did. When the movie had ended, Sid had announced he had early practice and that she should probably get going. Caroline didn't have the nerve to argue, so she had acted like she totally understood and standing up on her tiptoes pressed her lips lightly to the corner of his mouth. The next day had been a home game and a school night, she had gone to the game, but afterwards Sidney had wanted to go out with his teammates and friends. Caroline, having school the next day had declined his lackluster invitation. It had been the same story for the past few weeks. Late nights with teammates, early morning practices, always something. Caroline wasn't stupid, she knew he was holding her at an arm's length. It made her sad and anxious but she knew for Sid it was a mix between hurt ego and self preservation.

But she wasn't telling the whole truth to Sara. They had…once, sort of.

Last night.

But instead of making her feel better about everything, it had made her feel worse. Sid had invited her out for a night with his teammates and significant others. They were going to some chichi place downtown for dinner. She was supposed to be at Sid's by 8 o'clock but had already promised to meet up with the cultural diversity committee after school to work on the final details of the proposal. Not wanting to make waves with Sidney, she had been convinced she could do both. Bringing her make up bag and a change of clothes, Caroline would get ready after her meeting and it would all work out. Of course it didn't work out that way. Caroline had thought there were just a few minor details that needed to be wrapped up before submitting the proposal, but the committee had other ideas. The group planned on going through the whole document with a fine toothed comb, ensuring they would be tied up into the late evening. Caroline, being the head couldn't just leave. She had underestimated the timing and now would pay the price. She had called Sid to tell him she was running late and asked if she could meet him at the restaurant, but he hadn't answered. She quickly sent him a text instead and put her phone away once she received quite a few dirty looks from the vice-principal and other committee members. It was almost 9 o' clock when she had finally gotten out of the meeting and was able to look at her phone. It was dead. No, no, no. Caroline groaned. Racing to Sid's place she prayed he was still there and they would still be able to make some of the dinner. This was a fancy crowd; they probably hadn't even eaten yet.

Red faced and out of breath she had reached Sid's penthouse in record time, taking the stairs two at a time. She knocked frantically and within moments the door opened. She was met with a stone faced Sidney dressed in track pants and a Penguins t-shirt.

"Hi, I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry." Caroline rushed out, hoping that the night was not lost.

"Do you know what time it is?" he bit out ushering her in.

"I know, I'm sorry. The meeting, it went longer than I expected. I'm really really sorry, we can still make it right?"

Sid gave a roll of his eyes and if Caroline hadn't been trying to stay on his good side she would have been annoyed by the gesture. "No, we can't. Forget it. It's not a big deal. I'm tired anyway, I'm just going to watch the Coyotes/Rangers game and…" he trailed off looking like he wanted nothing more to do with this conversation.

"I can watch with you," Caroline said quickly, reaching her hand out to touch his arm.

"It's ok Care, don't worry about it." Sid said dismissively and with a slight pout that Caroline refused to let get to her.

"No, really I would like to, please. I feel terrible about tonight. I can order us food and we can have a fun night in…it will be great really." Caroline insisted.

Sid finally relented and mumbled an ok. It was good enough for her. They settled in to watch the game and waited for Sid's favorite Thai takeout to arrive. A few hours later the nail biter of a game was halfway through the 3rd period. Caroline clad in a Rimouski t-shirt and a pair of Sid's basketball shorts rolled three times around the waist was pressed tightly up against Sidney. He had let her in closer than he had in weeks and she was grateful for the intimacy. His arm was pulled tight around her and Caroline was fighting the draw of sleep. It had been a long day…it had been a long week. But she hadn't stayed over at his place or he at hers in weeks and she didn't want to go home, not yet. At commercial her eyes had drifted shut for just a few seconds when she caught herself and woke back up with a start. Sid was looking down at her, a tender smile on his face…the first smile in a while.

"Hey," he murmured.

"I'm awake," Caroline said quickly, sitting up, not wanting the night to be over.

"You're exhausted Care" Sid replied.

"No, no I'm fine," she argued halfheartedly.

"You can go to my room…" he said tentatively and Caroline's heart leapt. They hadn't talked about their fractured relationship of late and she hadn't wanted to assume anything when he had given her the comfy clothes to change into to.

"Are you sure?" Caroline asked.

"Yeah, this is almost over. Get some rest," he looked at her for a long moment and for that moment Caroline felt some semblance of their affection alive in the look.

"Ok, thanks. I love you Sid." Caroline said softly extracting herself from him.

He drew her in for a brief second and dropped his lips to her forehead. "I love you too."

Caroline padded to the bedroom and was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

She wasn't sure what time it was when she awoke. She felt something wet on her neck and couldn't figure out where it was coming from at first. Then she realized it was the heat of Sid's tongue as he pressed hot kisses to the slope of her neck. Sleepily her head worked to make sense of what was happening. The clock on his nightstand said 12:30. His body was hot and flush behind hers and she instinctively arched back against him.

"Sid…" she murmured.

"Shhh," he breathed hotly into her ear. His mouth went back to her neck as his hands came up and under her t-shirt to cup her breasts. He kissed and squeezed her flesh, as she pushed back up against him. It felt so good to feel his touch again. She had missed it…craved it. After just a few moments she felt his hands pull at the shorts and before she could turn into his arms and look at him and kiss him and show him how much she loved and missed him, he was inside of her. She was ready for him. His mouth and hands had gotten her aroused pretty quickly. But the tender and languorous love-making that she had longed for was not to be had. He pulled her tight and pumped into her methodically for a few minutes. She wiggled against him, desperate for the friction. His fingers moved between her legs and worked at her until a few minutes later they both found their completion. All in all it lasted about ten minutes, but it was something. Caroline turned towards Sid, seeking out his embrace, but instead he whispered for her to go back to sleep and pulled out of her. He rolled over and the sound of his breathing quickly evened into a deep sleep.

Caroline felt…empty.

The few moments of having him so close had felt more melancholy than anything else. It was almost…clinical, methodical. It lacked the love and intimacy that she treasured so much. It was just enough for him to be satisfied without anything getting resolved. Caroline lay awake for a long time. In the morning she had woken and he was gone from the bed. He had left her a note that he had an early practice and that he would see her later at the game. She swallowed the disappointment and gathered her things and left. The distance between them seemed bigger than ever. The drive home she had called Sara to meet for lunch and now here they were. But Caroline could not and would not tell her about last night. It just was too personal. It was as if it had never happened and she would treat it as such.

"So nothing for two weeks?" Sara whispered leaning forward.

Caroline just shook her head sadly. "No and I know he's hurt about what happened and he's just taking time to figure it all out, but I mean, I just don't understand how he doesn't get it. Why would he want to get married so quickly? I'm sure there are a million things about me he doesn't know. How can he be so certain?" Caroline wondered aloud.

Sara gave a small smile, "Love. He loves you. That's all he needs. That's all you need, as the Beatles would say. You are allowed to have your questions and uncertainties but they will get figured out as long as you remember how much you mean to one another and communicate. Seriously Caz, you need to talk to him. About all of it. He obviously thinks the world of you…now please you have got to tell me all about the ring."

Caroline drove home from lunch feeling somewhat better. It was the end of March. The season would be finishing up at home and Caroline's spring break had started. She would have a lot more time and with Sidney in town things would be better.

They had to.

* * *

The energy at the Consol arena was palpable. The team was entering its final week of regulation play and the Penguins were fighting for first in their division and first seed in the playoffs. First seed guaranteed home ice and playing the eighth seed which was Tampa Bay, whom the Penguins had beaten in every outing this year. This Saturday night they were playing the rival Flyers, who were nipping at the Penguins heels in second place. As Caroline made her way to the section reserved just for family and friends, she was determined to put her best foot forward in all of this. The conversation with Sara had given her new hope. She and Sid loved each other. They were important to one another. They would make the time and talk it all out. Now that the first phase of the proposal was done, she had a lot more time to spend with him and work at getting the relationship to where it used to be. With a smile on her face, Caroline made her way towards her usual seat, until she heard someone calling her name. It wasn't uncommon for her to hear her name being called in the arena, but this voice was familiar. Caroline turned to look a few rows down and saw the friendly face of Nathalie Lemieux, along with a girl that looked oddly familiar. Nathalie was gesturing wildly that Caroline come join them, which surprised her. Normally Nathalie was entertaining visitors left and right or she was sitting with the children, nonetheless, Caroline changed directions and worked her way towards the owner's wife. Nathalie had her daughters to the left of her and the familiar girl to her right. Next to her was an empty seat. As Caroline got closer and closer the familiar face became clearer and for a moment it was almost staring into the face of Sidney.

"Caroline, there you are! We were wondering when you were going to join us!" Nathalie said enthusiastically.

Caroline just stared dumbly, wracking her brain to remember some conversation that took place that explained all this. Because what it looked like was that Taylor Crosby was in Pittsburgh and Sidney hadn't had the time or the courtesy to tell her.

"Hi," Caroline said shakily, trying not to let on how gob smacked she really was. Settling herself into the seat next to the young girl, Caroline stuck out her hand and put on her most winning smile. She would not let this get to her. "It's so nice to meet you finally. I have heard so much about you."

Taylor said hello and returned the handshake. She looked so much like Sid, Caroline marveled. Taylor was wearing the white and red Olympic jersey of Sid's, along with jeans and boots. Her hair was dirty blond with some streaks of darker colors scatter beneath. She looked like your typical teenager, except with a world famous brother. Even the smile was all Sid.

"He didn't tell you I was coming," Taylor said smiling, her voice loud over the crowd as the noise in the Consol grew exponentially.

As the players took the ice, Caroline gave a weak smile. "He's been really busy," she shouted loyal to the end, not wanting to make Sid look bad.

Taylor just gave a look that Caroline had seen on Sid's face a number of times. "Don't worry, I'm not surprised, that is my brother for you." she shouted in return.

Caroline wasn't quite sure what that meant, although with how things were lately she had somewhat of an idea. Nevertheless, Caroline gave Taylor a light squeeze on the arm and shouted once more, "Well, I'm so glad you're here." Although the last part was lost in the roar of the crowd as 87 and finally 71 took the ice.

The game was extremely fast paced and physical. Caroline watched Sid get into shoving match after shoving match, each altercation rising in intensity. It wasn't her favorite part of the game, but she was grateful that Sidney had back up every time a Flyer got too rough. Caroline made small talk with Taylor during the intermission and learned that the girl would be visiting for her spring break. She had gotten into town earlier this afternoon and would be staying until next Saturday.

_So much for that quality time._ Caroline thought ruefully and selfishly. Taylor was very personable and friendly, although she spent a lot of time on her cell phone. She confided to Caroline during the second intermission that she was dating a defenseman on Shattuck's boy's team and that things were, as she put it, "serious." Caroline wondered briefly if Sidney knew about this defenseman. As the second intermission came to a close, Caroline listened to Taylor go on and on about the activities she and Sidney had planned. A Pirates game in the owner's box, dinner at some restaurant the Crosby family loved, movies Taylor wanted to see and of course attending all practices and games, with the chance of a few one on one sibling shootouts. Caroline felt childish but as she listened to all the events planned for Taylor and Sidney over the next week, she grew increasingly jealous. It was so stupid she thought as the prick of tears formed in the corners of her eyes. This was his sister. Who he probably only saw a handful of times a year. He saw Caroline constantly. There was no reason to be jealous. But Caroline couldn't help but feel like none of these upcoming plans included her. Not wanting to show Taylor how affected she was by the teenager's enthusiasm; Caroline excused herself at the start of the 3rd period to go to the bathroom and get a drink.

As she walked into the busy bathroom, she tried to be polite to the other women standing in line. She wasn't in the mood to play the part of congenial girlfriend, it was completely inappropriate that she was having this reaction, but the wedge between her and Sidney just seemed to be growing at a pace that scared her. As she came out of the bathroom, Caroline made her way back to the club level and to the semi private concession stand to wait patiently in line for a diet soda. She watched the TV in the corner of the stand and saw as Sid scored his third goal of the game. A hat trick. A freaking hat trick and she had missed it. Caroline shut her eyes for a long moment. Of course she had missed it. With everything going on, how could she be surprised?

The roar of the crowd swelled behind her as people darted out of line to run back into the arena to watch as thousands of hats floated onto the ice. Caroline knew she should follow, go back and watch as he celebrated the special feat, but she didn't. She was tired. The days of everything clicking and seeming so effortless seemed like a life time ago. The stars had completely misaligned themselves for Sidney and Caroline and it was all her fault.

"You should be out there," a voice spoke up. Caroline for a second thought it was just the sound of her conscience, but quickly realized there was someone behind her. She turned to see a woman she had never seen before. However, the lanyard and Penguins credentials hanging from her neck indicated that she was part of the organization.

"Cameron Spencer," the woman said, thrusting her hand out towards Caroline. Caroline looked down at the outstretched hand that was slender and well manicured. Bright red nail polish at the end of long tanned fingers. A giant diamond, surrounded by smaller but just as impressive diamonds surrounded her ring finger. Caroline shook Cameron's hand and looked at the woman before her. She looked like she should be on a television show about sassy high powered business women, who worked hard and played harder. She was slender and wore a high waisted black pencil skirt with a freshly pressed white dress shirt, the first few buttons undone to show off a generous swell of cleavage. Her legs were bare, but tanned in a way that was completely unnatural for Pittsburgh in March. And she wore the tallest stiletto heels Caroline had ever seen. Her make up was heavy, but not tasteless, in fact, she was very very beautiful. Sharp features, pouty lips covered in shiny red lipstick that only seemed to accentuate her very large straight white teeth. She had long blond hair that flowed in layers, swishing around her shoulders like a Pantene commercial. Her eyes were crystal blue and sparkled with mischief as she took in Caroline. Caroline, with her hair up in a clip, wearing jeans and her Crosby sweater felt extremely plain and unsophisticated next to this Blake Lively lookalike.

"Hello, um, Caroline Reid." Caroline said with only an iota of the confidence Cameron seemed to exude.

"Silly, I know!" Cameron said with a fake smile plastered on her face. "Everyone knows who you are."

Caroline felt irritated, "I'm sorry, do we…have I met you before?" Caroline asked, stumbling over her words.

"Oh no! Excuse me, I just joined the organization a few weeks ago. I'm the new VP of media relations, with an emphasis on special projects." Cameron said with a twinge of arrogance.

Caroline had no idea what that meant, but assumed it meant Public Relations, this woman looked like she knew how to spin any story.

"I'm surprised Sid hasn't mentioned me. We just had the meeting to finalize the plans earlier this week. God, girl I have to say you have gotten yourself a good one. That man looks good enough to eat...if I wasn't engaged you'd have a competition on your hands." Cameron said with what Caroline could swear was a growl.

Caroline was completely taken aback, what was this? Where had this woman come from and why hadn't Sidney mentioned her. And meeting? Finalized plans?

"Thanks, yeah Sid's great. Um, I think I'm missing something. What plans?"

Cameron pretended to look surprised, but Caroline was no dope, she might be a bit naïve but she could read Cameron like a book.

"Oh he didn't tell you? Well the Penguins have hired me to do a number of in-depth pieces on the men who make this team click and of course the incredibly smoking hot captain is at the top of that list. Whoo, his story this year is PR gold. Slow start, great comeback, scandal in the locker room, scandal in his personal life and of course you at the center of all of it. We are going to be doing something like a documentary, all about Sidney Crosby and the comeback we all have been waiting for. We are going to document it all, all the way through the playoffs and hopefully up to the Stanley Cup. Interviews with Sidney and all the people close to him, on the road with the team, at home with the captain. Cameras everywhere! Honey, I am going to be eating and breathing your life over the next few weeks and we are going to become the best of friends!"

Caroline swallowed and felt extremely exposed and uncomfortable. What was this? Things were rocky. Not telling her about Taylor's visit was irritating but not that big of a deal. But this? No, there was no way he would agree to this without her consent or at least telling her about it. Caroline just stared dumbly at Cameron and a feeling of anger and dread grew in the pit of her stomach.

"Oh wow, ok, that sounds great." Caroline said with her own faked enthusiasm. There was no way she would let this woman see her sweat, but inside Caroline was a mess. She didn't want her and Sid's story all over the place, especially not in some sort of video or exposé. Things had finally settled down from all that. Despite the past month, things were calm around them. She didn't want this all stirred up again, especially not now. It didn't make sense. Why would he agree to this when the playoffs that were so important were about to start?

Suddenly Caroline was more than irritated, she was mad.

"Oh my, look at me, talking your ear off when you should be in there showing your support for Sid's…what is it, 9th hat trick of his career?" she gave a lecherous smile. "Don't worry it's my job to know all that, really to know everything that makes Sidney Crosby tick."

There was something about the way Cameron said tick that had Caroline's insides churning. If there was any relief to the strain of the relationship between Caroline and Sidney, it wasn't coming any time soon. And Caroline couldn't help but feel like she had to watch out for Cameron Spencer. She looked like she could eat Caroline for dinner and ever more so wanted to have Sidney for dessert. No matter what, Caroline wasn't going to let that happen. Stressed or not, Sidney was her boyfriend, her love and she wasn't going to lose that. Not now, not ever.

Caroline said a short goodbye and made her way back into the arena. Her mind was all over the place. Bruised ego or not, Sidney and she were going to have to talk.

And soon.


	3. Chapter 3: Irrational

He knew he was being irrational. He had known the moment Caroline stood at his door that Sunday evening after they had returned from the Woodlands and the botched proposal. He had opened his door at the sound of her light rapping and there she stood giving him a nervous but hopeful smile. That smile. That fucking smile. A smile that told him that she was totally in love and terrified of him all at once. The proposal had scared her and now he could see how much. For him it had made so much sense. He had lived his entire life following the rules. Living by the idea that there was a process to everything, that if he did A. B. and C. then D. would result. It was methodical. It was what brought him peace.

Aimlessness, disarray, anything without a routine, a structure, he didn't do well. There needed to be an end game. A result. It was one of the reasons he loved hockey so much, because at the end of 60 minutes there was an end. A winner and a loser. Now with overtimes and shootouts it was ensured there was never a tie. Goals, assists and their points all designed to measure success. Those competitions, that gratification, he couldn't help but let it bleed into his personal life. He loved Caroline. He didn't want to be with anyone else. Ever. So it just made sense that they would get married. He was a traditional guy. He didn't want to live together or spend years in a relationship that didn't have that commitment attached to it. He wanted her to be his wife and knowing that she wasn't ready and actually understanding it, didn't make him feel better. It made him inexplicably angry, irritated…annoyed. He hated himself for feeling this way because he knew it wasn't fair, but everything he had ever worked hard for he got. He made sure to be the best and as the best he got what he wanted. He got that satisfaction. And now there was this. _Not ready_. It was childish…but he wasn't used to no. Caroline's doubts had thrown him off his game. He believed that she loved him, but he couldn't help but feel like she was still holding back. That there was still something keeping her from going all in.

It was that knowledge that frustrated him most. So he dealt with it by not letting her get close, not right now, not when it was so raw. He was hurt…he was man enough to admit it. His ego was bruised and he was hurt that she didn't get it. That she wasn't ready or willing to take that leap of faith. He made up excuses. Kept himself distant. Even when they were together, he put himself on guard because if he gave up any restraint, he was afraid he would lose it. He would argue and yell and ask…why?

Why?

For the first time in his life he felt like he might not be good enough.

It was hard enough to have this running through his mind constantly, but with the playoffs, Taylor's visit and this stupid documentary, his mind was a jumbled mess. He didn't know if he was coming or going. Caroline was busy, he was busy and beyond his own feelings, the universe had aligned itself in a way that made everything seem…off. He hadn't even been that pissed when she was late for the dinner with the other couples, he was resigned to this new way of things not working out. But he wanted to make her feel bad. He wanted to put all of this irrationality on her, but she had just been so damn sorry that he couldn't do it. In fact that time together reminded him of before. For one night he could just let go of all the noise in his head and just pretend that everything wasn't all over the place. Caroline curled up against him. Her smell surrounding him. Her soft body that he had memorized, clad in his clothes. It was perfect. He had reveled in the simplicity. It had turned him on. The erection had grown pretty much as soon as she molded herself into him. And the sight of her in his bed. Her hair spread across his pillow. The apple of her cheeks pink with sleep, the light freckles on her nose, the part of her lips as she breathed in and out. He couldn't take it any longer. The weeks of turmoil. The constant argument inside him head telling him one second he was an asshole and then the other that he was completely justified. He had just wanted it to all go away. He had pulled her into him. He had taken her in a way that meant he didn't have to ask questions or give answers. And when it was over, the guilt poured over him, soaking him in self loathing for being so weak. So cowardly. For selfishly wanting to just feel her surround him without it having to mean anything. Without having to talk about feelings and reasons and sensibility. To just feel that close to her again and forget that everything was just a little bit fucked up.

For her it was different and he had known that. She wouldn't feel or see it as an intermission from the disorder, the uncertainty, the stuff that comes when two people are on two totally different pages of life. The break he needed, the break he had taken selfishly that kept her still at the comfortable distance, was not something she was built to understand. He knew that and he did it anyway.

* * *

The minute he left for practice the next morning he realized he hadn't told Caroline about Taylor's visit. He wanted to call her, text her, something. But he felt too ashamed of his actions; he just wanted to pretend that none of it was happening. During the first shift change he had glanced up at the stands and saw them together. He felt almost numbed by the whole thing. Instead he just focused all his energy on the puck and the focus paid off. Hat trick. His heart soared. He loved how hockey just took it all away. All the crap of life just disappeared. As the hats rained down onto the ice, he looked back up and saw Taylor's blond head bobbing up and down as she cheered for his success and then he saw the empty seat. And the anger and frustration returned. She had missed it.

He took questions from the media. His answers too short and terse for what should be a joyous occasion from this special feat. As the reporters floated away, he was met with an enthusiastic hug from his younger sister, her embrace firm and full of pride for her older brother who rarely disappointed.

"Way to go Sid!" Taylor said excitedly. "What a game! Flyers never stood a chance."

"Thanks Tay, yeah it was a good one," he hoped that she wouldn't notice the hollow in his voice.

She didn't. Instead she talked a mile a minute, recapping the game, her keen eye picking up on plays and pushes that all came together to bring about the victory.

Sidney couldn't help but notice that she was alone. Had Caroline left after the game? He really couldn't blame her if she did, but he would anyway.

Finally there was a lull in the conversation and he spoke up, "So you met Caroline?"

Taylor didn't miss a beat. "Um, yeah, thanks for telling her about my visit. She was pretty surprised to see me…"

Sidney felt the twinge of guilt return, "Yeah, I'm sorry about that, I meant to tell her, its just things…" he trailed off, no real excuse to give.

"Is she still here?" he asked hope laced in his voice.

"Yeah, she's in the hallway talking to some lady. Carmen or something, I don't know they're talking about dates and appointments or something…" Taylor looked bored by even mentioning it.

"Cameron." Sid said blankly.

"Yeah, that's it," Taylor replied, then launched into a flurry of conversation about the week ahead.

He wasn't listening.

Cameron.

Fuck.

* * *

He found her thirty minutes later in the players' lounge chatting with Veronique. They were talking animatedly about the new addition to the Fluery's family that would be arriving later this year. She caught his eye and for the first time he couldn't read her face. Wrapping up her conversation with Vero, she stood and came his way.

"Hey," she said softly looking a little lost.

"Hey," he replied, the distance of just a foot separately them seeming so huge. He wanted to say he was sorry, he wanted to ask what she thought of Taylor, he wanted to ask how she enjoyed the game, but he didn't instead the words just flowed out of him like verbal diarrhea.

"You missed my hat trick." His words were accusing and hard. She looked taken aback for a moment. Shocked, as she looked around the now nearly empty room.

Then recovered.

"I know," she said tightly. Not volunteering anymore information.

"Is that all you're going to say?" he pressed, his brain telling him to shut up but his heart getting the best of him. He stared at her expectantly, waiting for her explanation.

"I don't know what you want me to say," she shot back. Her spine straightened and her arms crossed.

Wait, wasn't he the one who should be mad?

"Um, I don't know, you could tell me why you bothered to come when you weren't even going to watch the game?" he said petulantly.

Her eyes narrowed and her lips trembled, although he could tell she was fighting to keep them still. She drew her bottom lip in and bit at it anxiously.

"I was in the bathroom." she said and before he could speak she continued. "I would have gone during intermission but I was talking to your sister, who you failed to mention was coming to visit. Then I would have loved to come see the celebration of your success," she nearly bit out the word success, "but I got held up by your new PR woman who was telling me all about this video thing that evidently I am supposed to be a part of, another thing you failed to mention. So forgive me for missing your hat trick, but it seems like there is a lot more I'm _missing_."

Her eyes never left his and her crossed arms made her look every inch the teacher.

Sid was lost for words for a moment, then recovered "Sorry I've had a lot on my mind." His words were sharp and the apology sounded hollow.

Caroline was silent. He watched as she processed his words and he could see the shift in her eyes as she gave up the fight. He hated and loved her for it all at once.

"I know you do...I just think maybe we need to talk. Everything has just been so crazy lately, do you think we could-"

Her sentence was cut off.

"There you are!" the perky voice of Cameron Spencer took over the somber mood of the lounge. Sidney's eyes shifted towards the voice and Caroline looked away, miles were built between them.

Cameron took no time to drape her arm over the shoulders of Sidney. Her hand clutched at his bicep as she leaned her head into his shoulder.

"How much do we love this guy, huh?" Cameron gushed seemingly oblivious to the heavy air that lay between the couple.

Sid looked uncomfortably at Caroline, whose demeanor hardened immediately.

"Yeah..." Caroline replied clearly unhappy with the interruption.

"I'm going to have to steal him away from you," Cameron trilled. "We seriously have a lot to go over Siddo." Cameron released him from her clutches and looked at him expectantly. "Sorry, Caroline. But business you know."

Before Sid could string two words together, he was being led away by Cameron and Caroline was getting her things, clearly leaving.

"Wait," Sid said weakly and walked towards Caroline who was working furiously on buttoning up her coat.

"Its fine," she replied as she put out a hand to stop him from coming any further.

"I want us to talk," he said softly ducking his head towards hers, his body shifted careful not to let Cameron hear the conversation.

"Yeah, whenever you're free," Caroline said stiffly, "I'm going to head home, I'm pretty tired. I didn't sleep so well last night." She looked at him, her eyes telling him more than he wanted to hear.

Sidney felt the guilt intensify; he should have known last night would just make things worse.

"I'm sor-"

He was cut off by the sound of Cameron's throat clearing, indicating she was not interested in waiting on him any longer.

"It's fine. I'll see you later," Caroline mumbled, unable to meet his eyes now that the conversation had shifted to a much more awkward place.

"Ok, I'll call you," he said lamely and she just nodded and brushed past him.

She was gone and the noise returned.

* * *

Caroline didn't want to see a soul. She just wanted to get home, put on her pajamas and crawl into bed. Block out the entire world.

Of course things never work out that way.

She hadn't gone far when she bumped into Nathalie in the hallway of Penguins front office.

"Caroline, there you are," the woman said kindly. Caroline had already felt the heat creep up her neck and the bite of tears forming in her eyes when she left the encounter with Sidney. She didn't want to have to explain anything to anyone right now, not when things were so stupidly complicated.

"Oh hi," Caroline replied, painting a phony smile on her face.

"Are you okay?" the blond woman asked kindly, seeing the misery on the young woman's face immediately.

"Yes, I'm fine," Caroline lied.

"If you need to talk about anything sweetie, I'm al-"

"I'm fine, really." Caroline interrupted, not wanting to be rude, but also not wanting to talk about it. She just wanted to get out of there.

"Ok. I wanted to let you know that we are having people over tomorrow for Easter. I don't know your plans, but I know Sidney and Taylor are going and I hoped he talked to you about it…but just in case he didn't, we would love to have you."

Caroline knew about the brunch. Outside the locker room Cameron had given her a list of dates and times for when and how the documentary would be filmed. Tomorrow would be a perfect opportunity to show a more personal side of Sidney and Caroline played a key part in that. The way Cameron had phrased it, Caroline felt more like she was playing a role, rather than being a part of this documentary, that seemed more staged than anything else. Nonetheless, she loved him and would do whatever she needed to do.

"I would love to come, thank you." Caroline replied, "Is there anything I can bring?"

"Just yourself," Nathalie smiled widely and said her goodbyes. Finally Caroline was able to escape and fine solace in her car and within the hour she was burrowed under her covers and on her way to being fast asleep.

* * *

She was woken a few hours later by the sound of her doorbell ringing. Disoriented Caroline woke with a start. She looked at her clock that read 10:30. She'd only been asleep for an hour, but it felt like the next morning. Dragging herself out of bed, she made her way through her house and to the front door.

"Hi," he said, once she had unlocked the door and pulled him in out of the rainy cold night.

His cheeks were bright, a ball cap slung over his eyes as water dripped from the bill. His coat wet, his hands clenched trying to get warm.

"You're drenched, how long were you out there?" she exclaimed once he was in the warm dry house. All bad feelings forgotten as she reached to take off his wet coat and pull off the soaked cap. She shook out the articles trying to dry them.

"Care, don't worry about it." Sidney insisted, his hands coming out to still hers. "Its not a big deal."

Caroline felt a warmth grow inside at the sight of him.

"Do you want some…hot chocolate or something?" she asked.

He gave a small smile, "No, I'm good but thanks."

Caroline didn't know what to think.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her hands coming up to smooth her sleep tousled hair.

He looked around not meeting her eyes, "I tried calling you, but there was no answer."

Caroline felt his wall come up, "Oh, my ringer was off. I was sleeping."

"Oh," he said lamely his hands now stuffed in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels like he wanted to say something but was holding back.

Caroline couldn't bear the uncomfortable moment any longer.

"I'm sorry about earlier," she rushed out, even though she had no reason to apologize. "I was really disappointed that I missed your goal. I know it was a big deal."

Sidney pulled a hand out and ran it through his hair, heaving a heavy sigh.

"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have reacted that way. I was just...frustrated I guess," he replied hollowly.

Caroline just wanted all this stupid stuff to go away and just have him back, like before. The desire to just reach out and touch his hair or his cheek was so strong it hurt. She just wanted to fall into him and forget everything.

"Sid…" she started, but he interrupted her.

"I, um," he gave a weird cough. "I, need to talk to you about the documentary. What they need for us to do."

Oh.

Caroline felt the proverbial balloon go pop. He wasn't here to talk about them. He was here to talk about that stupid video.

"Oh, ok," she said, not bothering to hide the disappointment in her voice.

"Yeah, so they asked me to do this and I know I should have told you sooner but its just been hard to get a chance to talk to you lately."

Caroline felt her defenses go up. She was hard to talk to? He was the one who had completely closed off from her.

"You could have told me last night," she said tightly.

"I had planned on it and then you were late and I just forgot," he shot back.

"Did you?" Caroline responded quickly.

"Uh, yeah I did. I didn't not tell you on purpose," he gave her a look like she was an idiot.

"I cant help but feel like you did." Caroline replied her arms crossing in front of her involuntarily. This was not the conversation she had hoped they would have.

"What? Why would I do that?" he said crossly.

"She's very pretty…" Caroline said the jealously alive in her voice.

"What?" he looked at her like she had two heads.

"Cameron, she's really pretty. Sophisticated. She likes you a lot…" Caroline trailed off feeling like her insecurities were written all over her face.

"I…I don't know what your talking about," he replied tightly.

"Oh come on," she said, a feeling of irrationality flowing through her. "I saw the way she was looking at you. I mean its pretty obvious."

Sidney just stared at her for a second, looking at her like he'd never seen her before.

"What is this? You're jealous?" he asked incredulously.

Caroline reddened. "No! No, I'm not jealous. Its just she was all over you and she's very pre—"

He interrupted her. "Pretty, I know you said that. Look, I don't care about Cameron or how she looks. She's doing her job and she's asking me to do mine. This is part of that. You know that. I need you to be on board with this, ok?"

Caroline suddenly felt embarrassed of her jealousy; it made her look so pathetic.

"Fine. Whatever you need," she replied.

"Ok, thank you," he said harshly, his eyes hard on hers, like he was so let down by her.

Caroline felt like she was in the principal's office or something. She suddenly couldn't keep the words in anymore.

"I feel like you're always mad at me lately." Caroline blurted out, the tremor in her voice too strong to miss.

Sidney was silent for a moment then rubbed at his eyes in frustration. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sid, c'mon…"

He sighed heavily, too tired for the fight. "I'm not mad, it's just been really hard to get your attention lately with this thing your doing at work," he said tiredly.

"This thing?" Caroline replied, not wanting to pick a fight but irritated by his phrasing.

"The project…look I didn't come here to argue, I just wanted to tell you that Cameron needs us to do a sit down tomorrow and then wants to get some footage of me and Taylor this week. I thought maybe you would want to be around for that. I mean, I want you to be there for it."

He didn't sound very convincing.

"I talked to her earlier. She told me about tomorrow. I will be there. And…I'm off all week, I'm free."

God, the conversation was painful.

"Ok…great," he replied quickly. The battle to say more finally ended, "Look, Care, I…I'm sorry about last night. It wasn't right, it wasn't fair to you."

Caroline reddened by his apology, but was so grateful for the opportunity to talk about it.

"It's…its ok. I just…I miss you. I miss before," she could barely get the rest of her sentence out without her voice catching.

She watched him struggle to find the next thing to say, this vulnerable moment lingering in the air, the chance to work put everything out there within reach.

And then all of a sudden it was gone.

"Yeah…listen, I gotta go, I'm staying in Sewickley with Taylor all week, and I should get back." he said hollowly.

It had been so close, she thought.

Her eyes welled up and she suddenly needed him to go. She would fall apart in front of him and she couldn't do that, not now.

"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow," she said quickly trying to blink away the sudden pool of tears swimming in her eyes.

Sidney was too attuned to her and her emotions to miss it.

"Care…"

"It's ok, here," she busied herself with getting the damp jacket and hat and thrust them towards him, unable to meet his eyes.

His hand brushed hers when he took the items and Caroline could barely stand it.

He turned to leave and just as he reached the door handle, he turned and walked back towards her.

Cupping her hot cheek with his cold hand, he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to hers.

"Things are nuts right now. It's going to be like this for a while. I need you to be strong for me ok?"

She nodded, not wanting to talk anymore.

"I love you, Care," he pressed his mouth to hers and the familiar feeling left her feeling strangely homesick.

"I love you too," she whispered, although she was concerned with what his definition of "nuts" was exactly.

He said goodbye and Caroline wandered back to her bedroom feeling no better than she had before he arrived. She knew he loved her and she loved him desperately, but now more than ever she hoped it was enough.

_***Author's note: Sheesh, this chapter was a b**** to write, so I'm sorry if it kind of blows. Depressing Sidney and Caroline sucks to write. But I'm trying to fight through it, to get to the good stuff! Thanks again for all your feedback!***_


	4. Chapter 4: Valentine's Day

_***Author's note: Happy Valentine's Day! I always wanted to write about Sid and Caroline's first Valentine's day together and found myself glossing over it when I started Itermission. So what better way to go back and retell it than on Valentine's Day? Plus its super over the top and fantastical and cheesy,which is what I needed after writing all that depressing stuff. Enjoy!***_

"Ok boys and girls, we are going to start our Valentine's Day party in just a few minutes, I need everyone to clean up their spaces. Don't forget to put your worksheets in your blue folders, we will finish them tomorrow."

Caroline's classroom was abuzz with the excitement of Valentine's Day, especially since school was closed the following day for a teacher workday. A long morning of getting their work completed, meant that the students and Caroline could enjoy a fun afternoon of Valentine exchanges, treats and crafts. The kids had been waiting all week for it and they were super excited.

While the children cleaned up, Caroline began to set up on the other side of the room, getting the snacks prepared, the decorations up and the children's mailboxes out for the special party. Caroline loved Valentine's Day as a teacher, it reminded her of being a kid, when Valentine's Day was more about cupcakes and glitter, than making sure you had a boyfriend on February 14th.

This year however, she did have a boyfriend and Caroline was absolutely clueless as to what to expect. Sid had gotten in late last night after a four day road trip up to Boston and Montreal, so she hadn't seen him in all week. This morning though she had woken up to a text messages from him wishing her a Happy Valentine's Day and to keep her schedule completely clear after work. Caroline had smiled widely at the message and bounced out of bed excited for the day ahead. She and Sara had gone to the mall earlier in the week to do some shopping for the men in their lives. Caroline had gotten Sid a book on the history of the Royal Canadian Navy, knowing he had an interest in the topic. Sara had been outraged by the lack of romanticism in the gift and insisted she get him something more personal. Caroline didn't understand. He liked history. That was his interest, so how was it not personal? Sara had just rolled her eyes and moved on. Not a moment later did her eyes light up, as the scent of perfume wafted out of a nearby store. Sara looked up at the sign and then at Caroline.

"No." Caroline said her eyes wide.

"Yes." Sara said grinning and before Caroline could protest, she was being dragged towards the very pink and heavily perfumed shop.

An hour later with a flushed face, Caroline emerged feeling like she had just received a crash course in underwear. More so than she ever thought necessary. She ended buying a very skimpy, very pink, very see through, very not Caroline negligee that made the red nightgown from her trip to the Woodlands seem like flannel pajamas. She had felt completely exposed when trying it on, but when she got past the embarrassment, she had to admit it was pretty sexy and that she looked pretty good in it. She refused to let Sara see her however , as there was only one person she felt comfortable showing that much of herself to.

Speaking of which, Caroline's daydream was broken when there was a knock at the classroom door. Opening the door she was startled to see nothing but an arrangement of flowers and two small feet. The small 3rd grade office aid stood before her holding a gigantic arrangement of dahlia flowers in a

spectrum of pinks and purples. Dahlia flowers were Caroline's favorite. Her grandmother in South Carolina had beautiful dahlia plants in her backyard and Caroline had wonderful memories of the two of them picking the sweet smelling flowers. She had told Sid about her summers in South Carolina ages ago and how the dahlia was her favorite, she couldn't believe he had remembered.

The young girls in her class oohed and ahhed at the flowers as their red faced teacher opened the accompanying card and read the message from Sidney. "I love you more and more everyday, my Sweet Caroline." The children asked to see the note, but she refused. Smiling widely she gathered the students together to begin what was becoming a new favorite holiday.

A few hours later, after all the treats had been eaten, the Valentines opened and the messes cleaned up, Caroline made her way through the staff parking lot to her car. A splash of red on the windshield of her Toyota caught her eye. Pulling the envelope free and looking around at the nearly desolate parking lot, Caroline opened the small red envelope. A plain white card was inside, along with a plastic card. "A special night for a special girl," it read in gold script on the cover . Blushing she opened the card and read the instructions. She was to go directly to the Westin hotel in downtown Pittsburgh. The card was a room key. There was note telling her everything she needed was already at the hotel and she needed to be there by 4 o'clock. It was signed with Sidney's familiar scrawl. She checked the time, 3:40. Eagerly she jumped in her car and made her way downtown.

* * *

He hadn't been kidding when he said everything she needed would be at the hotel. When she had pulled up to the porte-cochère of the grand hotel, a valet had met her and greeted her by name. Walking into the massive lobby she looked at the room number and made her way towards the elevators. The room he had gotten was on the top floor and was massive. It looked more like an apartment rather than a hotel room. It was beautifully decorated with a floor to ceiling window that showed off the entire city. Caroline looked around the room not quite sure what to do next. It was pretty obvious he wasn't there. She caught site of some familiar items on a large coffee table and dropping her purse on a nearby chair made her way towards them. Sitting on the table was the wrapped book she had gotten Sidney. She had wrapped it the night before and there it sat like it had been transported there magically. Her overnight bag was there too, along with a big white box wrapped in a red satin bow. A piece of paper lay on the table as well. She picked up the letter and began to read.

_Care,_

_Happy Valentine's Day! I cant wait to spend the evening with you, I have missed you so much. If your reading this you have found the other items on the table. There is an overnight bag packed with everything you'll need for tonight, along with something for you to wear. I hope you like it. There is a back up your the bag if you need it. I had some appointments made for you. Pamper yourself ok? You're not allowed to say no today, St. Valentine's rules. Meet me down in the hotel lounge at 7:30 p.m._

_I love you and I cant wait to see you._

_Love,_

_Sidney_

Caroline couldn't shake the permagrin from her face. She pulled delicately at the ribbon and lifted the box lid. Pushing away the tissue paper she found a beautiful red silk chiffon dress. She gingerly picked up the dress and looked at the label, Carolina Herrera. Caroline wouldn't consider herself a fashionista, but she knew enough to know that this dress cost more than a month of her salary. It was the most beautiful and delicate thing she had ever seen. She then looked through her overnight back. Sure enough every she would need was in there, including the negligee she had purchased with Sara. Caroline was speechless, this was more than she could ever imagine.

Suddenly there was a knock that startled her. Was it Sid? Going to the door she peeked through the peep hole and saw a hardened looking woman in all white and a tight pony tail staring back at her. Opening the door, the masseuse greeted her and quickly began setting up her table. Caroline had never gotten a massage before, so she wasn't sure what to think. An hour later she realized she liked them. Quite a lot. She felt amazing. As soon as the massage was over another woman had come to the door, this time for a manicure and pedicure. Caroline felt a little overwhelmed. All she had gotten him was a book. Before she knew it, it was 6:45 and she had less than an hour to get ready. Grabbing her things she made her way to the shower to prepare for the rest of the evening.

Sid sat anxiously in the hotel lounge. He usually didn't put himself in such public settings, but one thing he liked most about Pittsburgh was that for the most part everyone left him alone. Sure enough in the five minutes he had been waiting for Caroline, 6 or 7 people had approached him for autographs but nothing over the top. At 7:28 he saw her approach the entrance of the lounge, her eyes scanning the busy bar seeking him out. She looked breathtaking. The dress fit her perfectly. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders in long flowing waves and her face was bright with anticipation and light make up. He had a little help planning the special day for her…okay, a lot of help, but it had paid off. Between Vero and Sara he had been able to get her belongings to the room, schedule the spa treatments and purchase the perfect dress for the evening. He was a pretty clueless about the whole thing, other than the flowers. He had remembered how her face had brightened when telling him about the visits down to South Carolina and the flowers, the whole image and scent had imprinted in her mind all these years later. Her eyes found him and that happy look she had gotten when remembering the childhood memory appeared on her face immediately.

Caroline was careful not to show too much affection in public. It wasn't her style to begin with and considering his high profile status there was no need to call attention. Instead she gave him a wide smile and leaned in to accept his lips on her cheek. Her heart gave its usual jump when she was in his presence and her pulse began to race. He looked sharp in a fitted black suit, white shirt and gray tie. His hair messily styled as it seemed to be growing longer as the season progressed.

"Hi," she said breathlessly, gazing up at him.

"Hi," he mimicked, a wide smile also on his face.

"Happy Valentine's Day, you look so handsome." she said with a nervous giggle in her voice.

Sidney's smile couldn't seem to get any bigger, but it did as slipped his hand into hers and led her out of the lounge, "Happy Valentine's Day," he replied easily. "You look lovely."

Caroline felt the heat creep up her neck, as she was sure it would blend perfectly into the red of the dress.

They talked as they walked.

"Sid, this dress…everything, its all so generous. Thank you. So much." she knew better than to argue prices and although she didn't like thinking about it, she knew he could afford it tenfold.

Sidney leaned into her as they walked through the sliding doors and out into the cold Pittsburgh air, the red of her dress now just peeking through the buttoned up black pea coat her parents had gotten her for Christmas. His nose burrowed into her hair as his lips pressed to the shell of her ear, "anything for you, Care," he whispered. She gave him a tender look and squeezed his hand, within moments the valet pulled up with Sidney's Range Rover and they were on their way.

He took her to the little Italian restaurant where they had gone on their first date. Only this time he had the entire restaurant rented out. Caroline pushed the dollar signs it must of cost him to the back of her head and thanked him graciously when Sidney pulled out her chair for her. They had a table in the corner, the lights dimmed as candles burned casting warm shadows on the pair. They chatted animatedly throughout dinner, lots to catch up since he had been gone for nearly four days. She made a funny face as she told him about the Valentine's Day party and how a small 7-year-old girl Kendall, had thrown up after eating her cupcake in less than five seconds and how another student just innocently walking by slipped in the mess and fell into the pink and purple pile of vomit.

"Sid, you should have seen it…well maybe you wouldn't have wanted to, but it was so gross. I didn't know who to feel worse for." Caroline couldn't help but let the giggles take over as she remembered the memory.

All of a sudden Sidney got a funny look on his face and Caroline wondered if she had gone too far in the graphicness of her story.

"Are you ok? Did I gross you out? I shouldn't have brought that up during dinner," Caroline trailed off as she became flustered by the sudden shift in the air.

She watched as his mouth opened and then shut a few times. No words coming out.

"Let's change the subject, that wasn't approp-"

"No," he interrupted, his face clearing of the odd look and a smile growing again on his handsome face. "I want to hear the rest, I love it."

It was the strangest thing. Somewhere between cupcake and vomit he felt like he had been hit by a truck. All of sudden, without warning and without a complete shadow of a doubt he realized that he wanted to marry her. Like yesterday. Caroline would be the person he would spend the rest of his life with. She would be his wife. She would be the mother of his children the only woman he would ever love. He could see it like perfectly, like a screen had been placed over his eyes and what it showed was their wedding day, the birth of his first child, teaching his son and daughter to skate. He could see it all so clearly. His life from beginning to end, entirely laid out in the most wonderful package imaginable and she was there for all of it. This was more than the flowery thoughts he'd allowed his mind to wander over the past few months. It wasn't like that. It was more like a fact that he had looked up in a book or a statistic on his playing card. It wasn't wishing or hoping. I was real and it was true and it assaulted him harder than a cross check from Dion Phaneuf. He almost just blurted it out. _Marry me. Be my wife. I will never want anyone else but you._ But he didn't. He didn't have a ring or a plan. Instead he let the calmness wash over him and he allowed himself to just wade in the pool of pure contentment.

Caroline gave a concerned look, but then continued with the rest of her story, the mix of repulsion and amusement written all over her features.

After dessert she handed him her package, worry written all over her face. "It isn't much," she said lamely, clearly embarrassed by the modesty of her gift. It sounded so cheesy but he didn't need anything, the epiphany he had just experienced was the greatest gift he'd ever received, although she had no idea she had given it. He tore at the paper and took in the red and gold cover.

"Its all about the Canadian Navy," she explained a tremor in her voice. "There's a huge section all about the Maritimes during World War II…"

Sidney immediately began thumbing through the pages, taking in the glossy images and scanning the various timelines.

"I love this," he said completely meaning it. No one had ever gotten him a book before. Well, correction, no one had ever gotten him a book about something other than hockey. He had mentioned here and there about his interest in North American history, but had been sort of self conscious of the hobby. It meant more than he could tell her that she saw more in him than just hockey.

He smiled genuinely and pulled her close to him, his hand coming around her slender neck as his mouth found hers expressing his thanks and love.

She smiled happily against his lips, savoring his taste.

Sidney pulled out an envelope and handed it to Caroline. "For you, happy Valentine's Day," he said his face alive with anticipation.

She stared at him, then the envelope. "Sid, you didn't have to get me anything else, there has been so much already…"

"I know, I know," he interrupted. "But too bad, now open it."

Caroline gave a happy squeal and opened the card. She stared at the words for a minute. She looked shocked.

"Sidney!" she said in disbelief, then looked up at him in pure shock.

It was a simple piece of paper with a date and time when Michael Symon, her favorite chef would visit Sidney's house in Sewickley to give the couple a private cooking class. She loved to cook and she had made Sid watch many many hours of Iron Chef America clearly expressing her love of the Ohio based chef.

"Well, you love to cook," he said grinning. "And it's a gift for me too, since I get to eat what you make."

"I cant believe this!" she was up and out of her seat, her arms wrapping around him in a tight hug. The feeling of her soft body up against his immediately set him afire. It had been a long four days.

Then went to the Consol after dinner, continuing the recreation of that night so many weeks ago when things seemed so uncertain but so hopeful for something to happen. And it had. And it was truly the best thing that had ever happened to him.

"Ok, so you better watch out, I'm getting better at this," Caroline teased grinning at Sid as she tied up her skates.

Sid just laughed and challenged her to a race, him skating backwards while Caroline skated forward. To Caroline it seemed like a no brainer, but she should have known better.

He beat her easily, reaching the far side of the rink with her way behind. Caroline, ever determined, gave a final push to the end and found herself falling into his embrace.

"Careful there," he said laughing, as the back of her skate wobbled out causing her to nearly fall.

Sid held her in his arms for a few minutes and her face red with exertion and delight and laughed freely. His hand came up and brushed her bangs back from her sweaty forehead and he became serious. Caroline sensed the change in mood and became quiet her eyes searching his and watched when his dark eyes dropped to look at her lips. She licked her lips in anticipation and tilted her head up instinctively. Very slowly his mouth found hers pressing light teasing kisses across her mouth. With one arm a vice grip around her waist and his free hand caressing the side of her face, he brushed his thumb across her cheek and leaned in to take full control of her mouth.

She moaned with pleasure into his mouth and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue between her lips. Just four days since he had tasted her and he felt like he'd spent a lifetime in the desert. So thirsty for her. Caroline's tongue found his and the sensations became electrified. Before they both found themselves tangled in a heap on the ice, Sid broke the kiss. Caroline, with her eyes still closed, leaned forward seeking his mouth disappointed by the loss. She opened her eyes and looked at him with a look of confusion and lust.

"C'mon," he chuckled as he took her hand and glided them over to the penalty box, lightly guiding her into the space. Seconds later he was sitting in the sin bin, with her straddled over his lap. She moved awkwardly, the heaviness of her skates impairing her from finding a comfortable angle, but she adjusted nonetheless. The skirt of the silk dress fell around her waist as her center came up flush to the growing bulge in his trousers. They just seemed to fit so perfectly he thought as his hand splayed across her back, pulling her into him as they kissed with passion. His other hand became swallowed by her hair as he moved her head this way and that way, trying to get all the best angles.

Caroline moved against him, the friction making her see stars. Her hands balanced on his shoulders as she just molded herself against him. After what seemed like forever, she pulled away. Her mouth felt huge and swollen, her tongue nearly numb from fighting against his in a battle for most vigorous.

"Sid," she said staring at his impossibly red and also swollen lips (although how much bigger could they actually get).

"Yeah?" he breathed, his hand pulling her to him again as his mouth began peppering kisses against her neck.

"Are we alone?" she asked in a near whisper.

He stopped his ministrations at her neck and looked at her.

"What do you mean?" he asked confused. He had paid Manny a hefty sum to set up the rink for them and then the building manager had gone out to a late dinner with his wife. Some diner where they had met over 40 years ago. It was their tradition he had told Sidney, when Sid had come to him with his idea and appreciating Sidney starting his own.

"There's no one else here, right?" she asked now staring at his neck and unable to resist pressing a few wet kisses to his feverish skin.

"No, Manny will be back at 11, but its only," he untangled his arm from around her and looked at his watch, "10:15."

She smiled a smile he didn't see very often. The smile that told him she had something up her sleeve.

"Ok good, so we have time for me to do this," and before he could process her words, she had slid down off his lap and fell to her knees before him.

"Care…" he said with barely a breath in him.

She grimaced and shifted herself.

"Ow, this didn't seem so cold and uncomfortable in my mind," she commented as she bit her lip in discomfort.

"You don't need to do…" he trailed off as her hands came to his belt buckle.

"I'll fight through it, don't worry," she said looking up at him with a reassuring smile.

And just like in his dream and private fantasies, she engulfed the length of him into her warm and wet mouth and set to work on finding him immense pleasure right there in the penalty box of the Consol Energy Center.

The air between them was electric as they drove back towards the downtown hotel. Caroline bounced in her seat talking about how perfect the night had been. Meanwhile in the back of her head she thought about her final gift to him in the form of the extremely skimpy negligee.

They stood in the back of the elevator as people came on and off up the 24 floors to the Penthouse suite. People of course recognized them, but luckily they were too enamored with their respective dates to pay much attention to Sid and Caroline.

He drew her into his arms when the door had finally closed behind them and they were alone. He took his time as he held her and traced the features of her face with his fingertips.

"I love you," he said, his face serious.

She gave him a tender look and leaned into his touch. "I love _you_." Her voice rising with a mix of happiness and emotion.

"I love the way you tell stories," he said feeling like he wanted her to suddenly know each and every way he loved her.

She looked taken aback, but quickly recovered. "I love how fair you are, about everything to everyone," she said quietly.

He nuzzled his nose into her neck, breathing in the tresses than had fallen over her shoulder, "I love how your hair smells after you've taken a shower."

She gave a contented sigh, "I love the way your hand feels in mine."

He pulled back and smiled, "I love how I can always tell what's going on in that mind of yours," he gave her a light peck on the nose.

She crinkled up her nose by the ticklish touch. Leaning her forehead against his, she breathed in, "I love the way you love me," she said quietly.

"I love that too," he said in whisper and then captured her mouth in his, no more words to be spoken.

They made their way into the master suite to show one another how much they really did love one another. Caroline escaped to the bathroom to change into the negligee, as Sid made himself comfortable on the bed. Once in the bathroom, Caroline stripped down and slipped into the silky material. It was a pale pink with black satin edging. The bra pushed her breasts up and out, the underwear was nothing more than a tiny scrap that barely covered her mound. There was nothing that covered her butt except a very thin strip that disappeared between the globes of her flesh. The mesh fabric of the baby doll cut flowed around her torso and exposed just a peek of her belly. She stared at herself in the mirror. She fluffed her hair, hoping to create some sort of sexy tousled look and bit her lip in apprehension. Taking a deep breath, she turned and walked out.

Sid had the dimmed the lights so he was just a dusky silhouette in the room. He lay on the bed completely naked with a proud erection bobbing against his impossibly hard belly. So much for feeling exposed, Caroline thought to herself. Sid gave an audible sound of appreciation when she emerged and quick as could be he was up and off the bed, heading towards her like an animal stalking its prey.

"What is this?" he asked his voice drenched in desire.

Caroline gave him a weak smile, "Happy Valentine's Day," she breathed and found herself crushed against the iron wall known as his body.

His mouth moved all over her exposed skin. Kissing, sucking, licking at her neck and shoulders, her clavicle and the swell of her breasts.

"Happy Valentine's Day indeed," he breathed as he tasted her. He swung her around and backed Caroline up against the bed until she fell back and onto the incredibly soft bed. In an instant he was covering her. His hardness rubbed up against her thigh and she could feel the heat of him coming off in waves. He took his time though. Despite how ready he was for her, he moved slowly over her skin, taking it all in. Relishing its softness, savoring her and appreciating that Caroline had been made just for him. He pressed hot kisses to her belly and closed his eyes giving himself just a few seconds to imagine a life growing inside there. Their children would be perfect. Her intelligence and big heart, his sensibility and coordination. He was in no rush, now that he had that calm certainty that they would build a life together.

Sidney moved down to the tiny panties that barely covered her. His tongue swirled around the fabric and pressed and pulled at the material as it became moist from his saliva. He was able to trace the shape of her through the soaked fabric and as she squirmed beneath him, he knew she wasn't going to last long. Hooking his fingers under the fabric he pulled down the underwear and got to work on the treasure that lay beneath. He teased her. Knowing all her special spots and how exactly to send her to the brink and bring her back again. He loved her taste. His fingers found their way into the mix as he slid one long finger into her, as his mouth pulled the sensitive nub in between his lips. He worked her the best he knew how and basked in the sounds of her appreciation and approval. It wasn't long before she clenched around his finger and the tremor of her thighs intensified. He listened as she reached her climax and drank in her essence.

In moments he had draped himself on top of her. Bring one of her legs up to his hip, he looked at her shining face and kissed her, as he entered her. She surged against him as he filled her up and within moments they were rocking against one another in a synchronization people who have been lovers for years struggle to find. They knew one another so well in this sense.

Caroline's hands clutched at Sidney's back as he moved in and out of her, the fullness so arousing but gentle. He started to increase his pace and Caroline moved her hips to meet his timing. As he kissed her, his hands found the fabric covering her breasts and he pulled the material down. Quickly he moved his mouth to the exposed flesh and took a nipple into his mouth, pulling and teasing the pebbled nub. Caroline cried out and her fingers laced into his hair and pulled him closer into her. Not missing a beat he continued to pump into her as his mouth moved to the other breast. His hand ran up and down her side, his fingers curling into her hip as he grasped her in place. Before long he felt her crest and find her completion. She cried out his name and within seconds he was right there with her.

She held onto him as he knew she liked to do. Her fingers scratched lightly at the nape of his neck, sometimes running up into his hair, sometimes traveling down the slope of his back. They caught there breath and careful not to crush her, he shifted to the side and drew her into him. Sidney ran the back of his hand across her forehead and brushed away the wet strands of hair that stuck to her forehead.

"I love you," she said turning into him and pressing her lips against his.

"I love you too," he replied as she snuggled into him, her head resting against his chest.

They lay there for a few minutes enjoying the silence and the afterglow. Then Caroline turned and looked up at him, a sly smile on her face.

"Again?"

* * *

Caroline and Sidney lay separated in their respective beds. The memory of that night on both their minds all these weeks later, still so vivid but seeming like a lifetime ago. Everything after that night and before the proposal had been perfect. The memories reminded them of how well they fit together, how much they needed one another to simply exist. Could they ever get back to that place again? As sleep overtook them, both had the same thought in mind: they sure as hell would try.

_***Author's second note: for images of Caroline's flowers, dress and negligee check out my profile (Cant figure out how to do links here.)***_


	5. Chapter 5: aha

_***Author's note: Huge apologies on the delay of this chapter. Real life is just so busy these days and with hockey games every other day I can hardly keep up. I know things are moving slowly, but I am committed to this story and promise things will be moving along. As always thank you a thousand times over for all your great reviews and insight!***_

Caroline drove down the long tree lined drive until the large brick home came into view. She had been to the Sewickley house a few times in the past couple months. A few dinners with friends, Sidney's parents coming into town were really the only time she had been in the house. When Sidney's parents were visiting he would stay over, but usually the house would be used for its social purpose and Caroline and Sid would go back to his apartment in the city or her house. It felt too strange to be in the large, ostentatious home for too long. Not sure what to expect at the brunch she dressed in a navy, yellow and white striped shift dress she had gotten on the sale rack at J Crew paired with metallic sandals and a light white sweater. Her hair was up in a ponytail with her bangs brushed to the side. Next to her sat the plate of deviled eggs she had made this morning to bring to the party. Nathalie had told her it wasn't necessary to bring anything, but Caroline didn't want to come empty handed and her aunt's deviled eggs recipe was legendary. The morning had been hectic. Caroline made her bi-annual trip to early Catholic mass partly because her mother would kill her if she didn't and partly because Caroline hoped it would help her find some relief to the endless current of anxiety she had running through her veins ever since the night Sidney had proposed. Caroline felt uneasy all the time and especially with everything going on, specifically the arrival of Cameron Spencer, she needed something to help put things in perspective. She liked the formality of Catholic service. The structure helped the chaos in her mind and she left feeling better about everything.

As she prepped the eggs, Caroline dialed her parent's number. She hadn't spoken to them in nearly 2 weeks. Actually since the day after the botched proposal. She hadn't said a word to them about what had happened but the conversation had been strange. Her mom seemed anxious and her dad short with his answers. Caroline had been so wrapped up in her own drama, she hadn't really given it a second thought. Her mother answered on the second ring. They chatted for a good while, just catching up on little things. Caroline told her mom about the committee at work and the brunch she would be going to later this morning. Caroline had this tell tale sign of having her voice rise an octave or two when she was uncertain about something. Her mother immediately picked up on it.

"Is everything ok, dear?" her mother asked plainly.

"What? Oh, yeah mom. It's fine," Caroline said too quickly but her mother could not be fooled.

"Anything you want to talk about?" Mrs. Reid asked softly.

Caroline didn't know if it was the kind voice of her mother or the fact that she felt like she was drowning in a sea of uncertainty and anxiety but Caroline was dying to just tell her mom everything. When she allowed herself the emotion, she had to admit she was frustrated that Sidney was acting this way. He was being unreasonable. She watched him struggle with trying to be okay with her while at the same time hold this grudge against her. Sara made it seem so easy, but if last night was any indication, just getting to talk was going to be a feat in itself. "Yeah," Caroline sighed heavily into the phone. Then, "No." Before she could stop herself the words just flew out of Caroline at a rapid pace. She told her mom everything. The proposal, the awkwardness, Taylor's visit, Cameron and the video thingy. She kept the night at Sid's to herself but everything else was out there. Caroline struggled to keep her voice from breaking as she confessed to her mother that she didn't know how to make everything better again.

Wendy Reid was quiet for a moment, then spoke.

"Your father would kill me if he knew I told you this, but he called here. Sidney. That morning. He called and asked your father and I for our blessing."

Caroline stopped breathing.

Mrs. Reid continued, "When you didn't say anything we assumed it didn't go well and I promised your father I wouldn't ask about it."

Caroline struggled to find her voice, "What did he say?" she choked out.

"He said that he loved you very much and that he wanted us to know that he would take care of you. Protect and provide for you. He was very nervous, I could tell. It was very sweet. We had our concerns of course. It's all very fast. But he was so certain that your father and I couldn't say anything but yes. I know this doesn't help with your decision, but I just think given all your doubts, that you should know this. Caroline, this decision is yours, don't let Sidney pressure you to do anything you're not ready for and don't let us influence your decision. I just think it's fair that you know everything."

Caroline's mind was swimming. This information didn't make it easier. at all. Everything just seemed bigger and scarier.

"I'm scared Mom," Caroline confessed. "I'm scared that something is going to go wrong. I worry all the time that I'm going to do or say the wrong thing and he is going to realize that I'm not the right person for him. I'm terrified that people are going to hate me. I'm scared that I won't be able to work or go to the store. I'm afraid that one day he won't love me anymore and I will have become so encased in him that I won't know who I am anymore." Caroline felt the tears swim in her eyes and internally berated herself for being such a mess.

"Oh sweetie, it's going to be okay. I know its very overwhelming. It's more than I could ever imagine. There is nothing wrong with taking it slow. Marriage is a partnership. It has to be 50/50, if it's not, then well, it's always going to be a struggle. If you think that your entire relationship weighs on saying or doing something wrong, then yes, you were right to say no. That's not equality. You need to build that trust, that foundation, that knowledge that you are with that other person through the good and bad. The pretty and the ugly. The highs and the inevitable lows. That's commitment. But Caroline, sweetheart, I'm not saying your worries aren't valid but I've seen you two together, I highly doubt anything you say or do will make him just disappear. I know you are cautious, but you can't obsess about things that may never happen. It sounds like you need to do some thinking and just talk to him. I know you are thinking of all the reasons to say no, but did you think of the reasons he thought you'd say yes?"

Caroline was silent, taking in the words her mother was saying. Was she not putting enough validity in their relationship? She trusted him, completely. She knew she wanted to be with him and only him but sooner or later she was going have to realize, to accept that he wanted the same. That she was as important to him as he was to her. That maybe, just maybe he had the same worries too?

Caroline talked to her mom for a little while longer. She felt a relief to the anxiety and some new perspective on it all. Realizing the time, she said goodbye and finished up her deviled eggs. Suddenly she really wanted to see Sidney. She didn't know if they would be able to talk, but she was starting to realize that he'd had his aha moment. Caroline just hadn't allowed herself to have hers.

* * *

Taylor answered the door. She was trendily dressed in dark jeans and a multicolored top. She grinned at Caroline and let her into the house. "Sid is still getting ready," she said munching on a banana and rolling her eyes. "He had some phone interview that went long...are those deviled eggs?" Taylor eyed the platter in Caroline's hands.

"Ok, yes, I, um, brought them for the brunch. I wasn't sure what people were bringing." Caroline said lamely.

Taylor just gave a funny look but didn't say anything. An alert on her phone distracted her and with a wave of her hand towards the upstairs, she mumbled where Sid was, her fingers already flying across the screen of her iPhone.

Caroline set her things down and made her way upstairs in search of her boyfriend. She found him in the master suite bathroom, running product through his hair, not quite dressed yet. His chest was bare, the rivulets of water evaporating off his body and a towel around his waist. Sidney ran his fingers his messily arranged hair as he focused intently on his image before him.

She had a flash of a future of many a mornings getting ready in this bathroom, he spending more time on his hair than really necessary, she brushing her teeth. There lives melded in the simplest way. Not filled with public appearances and weeks apart, but the appreciating the small things, something as simple as sharing a sink. Well, maybe not sharing a sink...there were two in this bathroom that was nearly as big as her bedroom. Leaning up against the door frame she felt a peace settle in her belly that had not been there for weeks.

"Hi," she said softly.

Sidney's focus shifted and his eyes caught hers in the mirror.

"Hey, sorry I'm running late, I had this interview that wasnt supposed to happen until tomorrow but there was some conflict and I had to-"

Caroline didn't speak, just walked towards him and came up flush behind him. She pressed her cheek between his shoulder blades and breathed him in. He was warm and solid, his skin flushed and damp. Her arms snaked around his waist, her hands rubbing at his belly until they moved further down and uncinched the towel. He didn't say a word but the sound of his breath hitching echoed in the large space. Caroline's hand snaked down and found his penis hot and hard, ready for her. She pumped her hand up and down over the girth of his impressive erection.

"Care, Taylor is just..." Sid barely choked out.

"Shhhh," she whispered into his skin. She let go of him and with one swift motion pulled her dress up and over her head, discarding it onto the floor.

In an instant he turned and took her in. Clad in just a pale pink bra and panties she pounced on him. His mouth hot on hers, his fingers pulling at her hair tie and freeing the strands as they created a curtain around them. His erection poked into her belly as his fingers nimbly unclasped her bra. It fell to the floor and his large hands groped the newly exposed flesh, massaging her as his fingers played with her pebbled nipples; she was so ready for him.

He lifted her and turned them towards the sink. Setting her down on the marble countertop, he weaved his way between her legs and attacked her neck. He pressed hot kisses along the column, as she clutched him to her. His hands moved deftly over her ribs and down to her waist and with great finesse pulled her panties off and discarded them to the floor. He broke away from her neck and pulled back, taking in her flushed face. When she opened her eyes, they were dark and full of need. For a split second nothing happened and then with a flicker of her eyes, he was given the permission he needed and he filled her hard and fast. Caroline's mouth crushed against his and she felt every inch of him slide in and out of her, filling her up to more than she though she could take. Back and forth he moved inside of her, she grasped at anything she could on the counter top to help steady herself from the ride he was taking her on. She settled for clutching the edge of counter top as his hard lean body surged into hers, his mouth hot hers, his hands palming her ass as he pulled her further into him. As his movements became erratic, he broke away from her mouth and buried his head into her shoulder.

"Caroline," his voice was deep, throaty and lust filled. "Caroline," he repeated as his hips moved faster and faster and she moved with him. She just arched into him, her eyes closed tight as she focused on the ecstasy of it all.

"Caroline,"

She blinked. He stood in front of the mirror staring at her, looking at her like she was crazy.

"Did you hear me?"

Caroline fumbled for a minute, the fantasy drifting away, as reality fell back into place.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" he cheeks were hot and the pulsing between her legs unmistakable.

"I said I'm running late because of the interview...are you ok?" he was now looking at her very peculiarly.

"Oh yeah, um fine, ok, no problem. I'm in no rush," she collected herself and flashed him a smile.

He looked like he was contemplating something, then moved towards her. Her breath caught as he came up flush to her, his eyes intent as his fingers came up and ghosted across her flaming cheek.

"You look pretty today," he said softly.

"Thanks," she choked out, looking up at him, his eyes warm, a look on his face that she missed seeing.

His lips came down gentle on hers and before she could grab the back of his neck and intensify the kiss, he had pulled away.

"I should just be a few more minutes," he said apologetically, already moving past her back to the bedroom to get dressed. She watched him as he moved gracefully to the dresser and then to his closet. Suddenly she had an idea.

"Why don't we just stay here today," she rushed out. "You can make me and Taylor your mom's pancakes and I brought deviled eggs. We could play games, watch movies, just veg out." Caroline waited for his reaction from across the room, watching Sidney select a pair of slacks and a lightly checkered dress shirt. He turned and for a second it looked like he might consider it, but then his features hardened.

"They're expecting us," he said stiffly, "the camera crew is going to be there, they wanted to get some footage of the team in a more relaxed setting." She knew by team, he meant him.

Caroline wasnt sure if he was irritated that she had suggested they don't go or the fact that they had to go. Whatever the reason she wouldn't let it faze her, although the anxiety returned at the idea of the camera crew filming them.

"Ok," she said brightly ignoring the dread in her stomach, "It's going to be a lot of fun."

He studied her for a moment, then spoke, "We could come back her after and hang out, I really want you to spend some time with Taylor."

Caroline smiled genuinely, "Sounds like a good compromise."

* * *

Caroline had been to a few dinners at the Lemieux house over the past few months. Nathalie was a wonder, so welcoming and friendly. The whole family had been so nice to her, making her feel like part of the family, just as they had done with Sid. The dinners were always prepared by Nathalie and although they were in a multimillion dollar mansion, when everyone sat around the table it seemed like any other family in any other house in the world. It was one of Caroline's favorite things about being with Sidney. Today however, the house was all a bustle. They pulled up to the magnificent home where a valet was waiting to take the keys from Sid and park the Range Rover along with the other luxury vehicles lining the stone drive. There were people filing into the home dressed in expensive suits and elegant dresses, men with cell phones attached to their ears, women with gaudy Easter hats. Caroline looked down at her dress and the platter of deviled eggs and felt out of her league.

"Oh jeez," Caroline heard Taylor mutter from the backseat and could nearly hear her rolling her eyes at the scene, "We aren't in Cole Harbour anymore eh?"

"Shh," Sid said half heartedly and turned to give Caroline a reassuring look. Caroline smiled weakly and got out of the car.

They had just entered the home when Caroline wished she had left the platter of eggs in the car. Although, she didn't think Sidney would have gone for a plate of eggs in the warm sun for the next 4 hours or so. Nevertheless, she felt especially silly when they entered the dining area and saw platters and platters of food including crab and lobster, cakes and quiche, champagne fountains and chocolate covered strawberries. Caroline wondered if she could escape to the kitchen and throw the thing away, that or hide out in the bathroom and eat them all. Before she could give it another thought, Nathalie came through the door way, with Evgeni Malkin trailing behind her carrying a large silver tub of ice.

"Right there, Geno," Nathalie instructed the tall Russian. She caught sight of Sid, Caroline and Taylor standing there and immediately greeted the threesome. Nathalie embraced Sidney and Taylor, while Geno wandered over to say hello to Caroline. He looked down excitedly at the deviled eggs and reached out for the platter. Expecting that he would find room for the eggs on the long buffet table, she handed them over, but instead of setting them down, he pulled back the cellophane and downed an egg in one bite.

He reached for another and with a full mouth muttered, "Good."Before she knew it, he had wandered away platter in hand, already reaching for a third. Caroline grinned at the exchange then turned to welcome Nathalie's embrace.

There must have been over a hundred people at the brunch, all sorts of people from the Penguins organization, players and families and other notable people of Pittsburgh. Sid was swept away immediately by important people in suits, while Caroline and Taylor were left to fend for themselves. It was nice to spend time with Taylor. She was very down to earth, seemed unfazed by the wealth and pretension. Caroline told her about being a teacher and growing up in Ohio. Taylor was interested in hearing about Caroline's college days, as she had been narrowing down her selections since she would be graduating next year. They pair made their way to the back patio where the rolling green grass seemed so unusual for early spring, but was beautiful nonetheless. Taylor saw the other teenagers and Caroline urged her to join them, while she went to chat up the WAGs who were huddled by the mimosa bar. Caroline chatted animatedly with everyone and nearly forgot about the other reason for the day until Cameron Spencer sauntered up to the group of ladies. Caroline noticed Carole-Lyn DuPuis obvious eye roll and the air in the crowd became very chilly.

"Caroline," Cameron's voice was falsely enthusiastic. "Hey girl. Hi ladies," she said addressing the group. There were some tight hellos and faked smiles and Caroline couldn't help but feel sort of bad for Cameron. She obviously was not a hit with any of the WAGs. Cameron didn't seem to pay any attention to it. She wore a tight black dress with stilettos and her long blond hair was up in a tight chignon. She held a Blackberry in one hand and a clipboard in the other. A shlubby looking guy with a camera on his shoulder stood behind her. "Mind if I get some footage?" she asked lightly.

Caroline felt the anxiety speed up and her body locked. A few half hearted okays murmured across the group and Caroline felt her palms get sweaty. Vero stood next to her and light squeezed Caroline's hand. "It's ok," she whispered, her other hand caressing her swollen belly. She wasn't due until June but her large belly indicated differently. Caroline gave V a grateful smile but her eyes were already scanning the crowd for Sid. He was nowhere to be seen.

Caroline kept her back to the camera and tried to focus on Michelle Cooke's story about her new living room furniture. It was an incredibly boring story but Caroline stared intently at her taking in every word. She felt the camera come up to the side of her face and she couldn't help but dart her eyes to the side and look into the lens.

"Stop," Cameron announced into the crowd. With a sigh the cameraman took the camera off his shoulder and shot Caroline a dirty look. Cameron walked over to Caroline.

"Sweetie," she said in a condescending tone, "You can't look at the camera, just pretend it's not there."

Caroline muttered an apology and camera guy set up the shot again. She listened intently to the furniture story again, refusing to tear her eyes away from Michelle. She felt the camera zoom in on the group but pretended it wasnt there. She felt V's arm brush against hers and moved to the side to create more space for the soon to be mother. Unfortunately she stepped right into the shot, her back directly in front of the lens.

"Stop, stop," Cameron's voice broke through again. Caroline sent a look of apology to the other ladies, who just looked at her with pity. She flushed, embarrassment flooding her face.

"Caroline," Cameron said with exasperation in her voice.

"I'm sorry," Caroline said quickly, as the cameraman fiddled with the buttons, not wanting to get involved in Cameron's wrath.

"You stood right in front of the shot," Cameron stated plainly.

"I didn't mean to, I just..." Caroline didnt finish her sentence.

Cameron pinched the bridge of her nose. "It's ok, let's just try it again."

Caroline just wanted to disappear. She looked out at the vast backyard and finally caught a glimpse of Sidney. He was by some trees playing with Pascal Dupuis' youngest. As the cameraman set up the shot and Cameron positioned some of the WAGs, Caroline became captivated by the sight. His face was so relaxed, filled with a such joy as he scooped the toddler into his arms and then pretended to drop him, causing the little boy to scream with delight. She didn't know if it was coincidence or just perfect timing of the conversation with her mother, but in that second Caroline knew. Despite all the problems and the tension, watching him with the little boy just put a pang in her chest, a want inside of her roaring to life telling her that no matter what, she wanted to be with him forever. Nothing else mattered, not even this stupid camera in her face. She wanted to run towards him. Grab him and kiss and tell him yes, that she did want to marry him. Tell him she had no idea what she was doing or if she would do it right, but that she wanted to be his wife and she wanted that to start as soon as possible. All of a sudden a hand was in her face and the snap of well manicured fingers brought her back to the task at hand. "Pay attention," Cameron said harshly.

"Hey," Vero spoke up defending her friend, "Dont talk to her that way." Cameron turned to reply to Vero, but the look on the pregnant woman's face, told the PR maven that she needed to tread carefully. Turning back to Caroline she gave a tight smile and pulled at Caroline's shoulders and positioned her in place, "Dont move," Cameron said shortly. Caroline nodded in agreement. She smoothed one palm on her dress, as Cameron shoved a mimosa into her other hand, "Here, this will stop you from fidgeting." she instructed.

Caroline focused on the conversation that was now becoming forced due to having to start and restart. Caroline focused on Michelle and tried to stay relaxed. She felt the camera zoom in on her, the lens only a foot away. She nodded her head stiffly and tried to figure out what to do with her hand. Her palms were so sweaty. She tried putting it on her waist but that felt odd, so she dropped it to her side. That didn't feel right either. She lifted it to the glass she was holding, switching hands. But as she did, the glass slipped between her fingers and came crashing to the ground. The champagne flute shattered, orange juice all over her feet and shards of glass spraying the feet of the other women.

"Ahhh!" Michelle Cooke exclaimed, a piece of glass landing on her sandal clad foot, cutting her instantly as red started to pour from the arch in her right foot.

"Are you ok?" Caroline exclaimed.

Cameron just shook her head and pulled the cameraman out of the group. The women moved quickly to tend to the cut woman. The sound of glass shattering brought attention to most of the party goers on the expansive patio. Everyone was staring at her.

"Let's pack it up," Cameron said to camera guy, sending a disappointed look at Caroline. Caroline wasn't sure what to do. Michelle was shooting daggers at her, as the other women helped her to a nearby chair.

"I'm so sorry," Caroline repeated over and over to the older woman. She ignored the sticky feeling in her feet, but was not able to ignore the stares at all the party goers. Everyone seemed to be looking at her. She glanced out to the yard and saw that even the people there had heard the commotion. Sid was looking in her direction and she was mortified. She had to get out of there. Managing another weak apology, she hurried back into the house to hose off her feet and just be alone.

There were people everywhere. She weaved in and out of traffic trying to keep calm. Finally she came to a door that lead to garage and was instantly relieved to be away from all those people and equally pleased to find a faucet by a number of fancy looking cars. A few minutes later her feet were clean except for the fact that her shoes were soaking wet. She sat on the step inside the door and just took some time to let them dry and to think. She felt a thousand feelings at once. She felt so stupid about the video. The whole thing felt so unnatural and pointless. Why did anyone care about a group of women talking about furniture? What did that have to do with hockey? And seeing Sid with Pascal's little boy. Oh god how her heart had twisted at the sight. She thought back to the conversation with her mom and the past couple weeks. It had been miserable but she would go through this misery any day of the week if it meant being with Sid for a lifetime. She would go through things a lot worse even. She would gladly humiliate herself in front of all of Pittsburgh if she had to. He was everything and somehow in all the fear and uncertainty of the unknown she had lost sight of that. She sat staring at her toes for a while until the sound of a door opening behind her broke her out of a trance. Before she could turn around and see who it was, she heard his voice.

"There you are."

She turned and looked up at him, he held a calm, I don't want to freak you out look on his face. She gave a weak smile and watched as he came down and sat next to her.

"You ok?" he asked kindly.

Caroline nodded and gave him a somber look. "Yeah, just embarrassed. I really should be used to it by now." she said with a self deprecating laugh.

His shoulder rubbed up against hers, "My rookie year I was a mess. I never knew where to look at the camera during interviews, my eyes were everywhere and I always had the dopiest looks on my face." he said, trying to make her feel better.

"Really?" she asked with a giggle.

"Really," he confirmed.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, just sitting there. His thigh pressed into hers, his arm brushing up against her. It was the quiet time they had longer for but now it just seemed like all there was to talk about seemed insignificant and petty.

"Hey," Sid said taking her hand and pulling her up. "I want to show you something."

He led her across the garage to another door and guided her in. It was a large room with a little kitchenette on one side and a little living room setup on the other. Through an opening she could see a bedroom. The space was bright from the sunny day coming in through the many windows.

"What is this?" she asked looking around at the small home.

"This," he said, "was home for nearly 6 years. See when I first moved to Pittsburgh I didn't know anyone, I was barely eighteen. All I had was Mario. He took me in. Gave me a home, gave me a family, gave me someone to do my laundry." Sid gave a laugh. He showed her all around the guest house and into the bedroom that was filled with pictures of Sid with teammates and the Lemieux's, jerseys hung on the wall, medals and awards all over. "I haven't really packed any of this stuff up yet. Whenever I feel overwhelmed by it all, I like to come back here. Remember what it was like in the beginning." He sat down on the bed and she followed. He looked all around, his hand still clasped around hers. "I was so backwards when I got here. Didn't know anything about anything other than hockey. They kind of made me over, the Penguins I mean. Polished me up and prepped me for a whole new life. Taught me how to say things, how to act in different situations, basically groomed me to be all they needed me to be. Don't worry about Cameron or the video. Seriously if you want, I can axe the whole thing. I just thought it might be a way that we could solidify our relationship to the public, let them know that this is for real, make a commitment since...you know." Caroline knew he was referring to the proposal.

"Sid," she tried to cut in, ready to tell him yes, tell this whole party, yes she wanted to be his wife. Forever, no matter what.

He kept talking.

"You were right," he said, looking at their intertwined hands. "I did a lot of thinking and you were right. I was too rash, it is too soon."

_No it's not_, she wanted to say, but he kept talking.

"This is a lonely life, I know it doesn't seem like it, but it is. Everyone wants something from you and it's hard to find special people, people you can hold close, because it's so difficult to trust. I trust you with my life, Care. I know without a doubt who you are and what you would do for me and I know what I would do for you. I selfishly wanted something that would keep you put, I know how loyal you are. I wanted that piece of mind that I would never lose you. But it wasn't fair. I need to realize how different it is for you. That you would be giving up a lot and it is scary. I'd forgotten how scary it really can be. So we can slow down, pretend that proposal never took place and then when we know that the time is right, I can do it properly."

Caroline didn't know what to say. Part of her was disappointed, part of her relieved. He seemed so certain. His mind made up that Caroline didnt know how to argue with him, tell him she was the one who was wrong.

"I love you," she said finally. "I will do all of this, any...anything for you," she squeezed his hand. He smiled his real smile and stood up suddenly. She watched as Sidney crossed over to the bedroom door, shut it and clicked the lock. She shivered with anticipation as he walked back towards her, his intent written all over his face. He hauled her to her feet and crushed his mouth to hers kissing her thoroughly. All thoughts of Cameron Spencer and broken glass erased from memory as his hands eventually came to her waist and led her down onto the bed.

Today was her aha moment.


	6. Chapter 6: Back to Good

In no time they were a tangled heap on the bed he'd slept in for nearly six years. He'd snuck various women into this bed over the years, but she would be the last. He still had to believe that. Her fingers were quick at the buttons of his dress shirt, while he pulled her hair free of the loose ponytail and delved his hands into her thick waves. They kissed as she pulled the shirt over his shoulders and discarded it to the floor. He shifted her under him, broke the kiss and just looked at her as she lay beneath him, staring up and into his eyes. Her chest heaved with anticipation, her lips swollen from his kisses and eagerly awaiting more, her chocolate brown eyes, which were always so expressive had darkened and her chin trembled. He loved watching her change from the nervous girl he had fallen in love with to the wanton woman he lusted after. Sidney draped himself over her, one hand firm on her hip, the other at the side of Caroline's head, bracing his body from crushing hers. He stared at the face of need, of desire and quickly crushed his mouth to hers once again. Her mouth opened for him immediately. Their tongues found each other and instantly the dance began. She soft and sweet, he hard and insistent. The noises she made as he pulled back and nipped at her bottom lip sent him into full arousal. Caroline's hands held onto him as he squeezed her hip playfully, his thumb circling then pressing down into her hip bone. The action caused her hips to flex up and meet his arousal that was now tight against his pants. Sidney continued to nip at Caroline's mouth, periodically breaking so that he could nuzzle his nose against her jawline. God he had missed this. Her skin so soft and her body so pliant underneath him. When her hands were on him, when her mouth was so tender but so eager against his, it was truly his favorite thing. His favorite feeling with his favorite person. He wanted her so badly. He sucked gently at the neck, tasting her flavor. A low moan echoed in the silence as her eyes closed shut and her hand pressed him further into her. Sidney was careful not to leave any marks, so he pressed his lips to her pulse point and peppered kisses down the slope of her neck. His hand left her hip and moved to between her legs.

"Sid," Caroline breathed in protest, "We shouldn't." But her body wasn't protesting. In fact, Caroline's legs fell bonelessly apart, allowing more room for his fingers to explore. Sidney shifted to the left, his other hand now free to touch gently at her cheek as his mouth settled over hers for another deep and toe curling kiss. Slowly his mouth moved over hers in a steady rhythm, then pulled back to whisper,

"It's ok Care. Don't worry." His voice was low and soothing, confident that they wouldn't be found. This was finally their time, the right time to put the past few weeks behind them. For him to finally let go of the disappointment and put forth the effort to show her that he wasn't going anywhere; that ring or no ring he was committed to her and only her.

His mouth moved to her neck as his fingers delved between her legs and under her panties. He could feel her hot and wet, her bundle of nerves already pulsing with anticipation. He moved his fingers up and down the length of her, putting just enough pressure to elicit sounds a pure satisfaction. He glanced at her face. Her lips were swollen from his kisses and her eyes closed. She gnawed at her bottom lip and he could tell she was holding back. Sid brought his other hand to Caroline's breast and squeezed the weight. He was rewarded with a throaty moan. Sidney moved his mouth to Caroline's ear,

"This is all about you," he whispered. "This is all about your pleasure, just let go." He watched as the blush washed over her. Her cheeks brightened, the splotches of color blossomed all over her chest. He watched her bow as he slid one finger past her slick heat and pushed into her. Slowly he found a rhythm. In and out his finger went, each time her body pulled the digit up into her velvet heat like a suction. He added another finger and kissed her mouth to swallow the moan it provoked. The pad of his thumb manipulated her clitoris until she could take no more and she was forced to tear her mouth from his, her body completely arching into his hand.

"Care," he said. Her eyes flew open and she looked at him, her eyes glazed and unfocused. "That's it baby, look at me," he smiled as they locked eyes. With her it was so intimate. More intimate than it had ever been with anyone else. He could feel her pleasure coming off in waves and he knew she was close. Without breaking eye contact he sped up his ministrations as the sounds of pleasure spilled from her mouth. He was so aroused by watching her, he nearly lost it himself. She lay there, her dress now dragged up around her waist, his hand down the pale blue panties, as her thighs quivered and her hips gyrated.

Then finally.

The cry came from deep inside of her as her body shook with pleasure. Sid continued to massage her breast and move his fingers in and out of her, as he dropped his head and buried his lips in her neck. He listened to cry of pleasure that came from deep inside of her and felt the heat as she rode out the orgasm.

As she came down, Sid pulled his hand from her panties and rubbed gently at the fabric covered mound. He pulled away as he straightened her dress back down, smoothing the wrinkles and gave her a gentle smile. Caroline stared up at him, her mouth agape and the sweat glistening at her hair line. Brushing his hand across Caroline's damp forehead, Sid pressed his mouth to hers. "I love you," he said softly. Emotion shone in her eyes as she quietly whispered back the affection.

Her hands went to his belt just as the sound of voices came from the other room.

"I'm telling you man NHL 14 is going to be so sick. Dad says he can get me a test copy if I ace midterms."

Caroline and Sid froze. Austin Lemieux's voice was unmistakable. The couple listened as Austin and a few friends milled around the living room and the sound of video games filled the small space. Caroline's eyes went wide as she scrambled up and off the bed. She smoothed out her hair in the mirror as Sid groaned and picked up his t-shirt from the floor and shrugged it back on. He felt the arousal drain from his body as the challenge of getting them out of there undetected presented itself. Caroline looked panicked. Sid knew to diffuse the situation before it started.

"Hey," he whispered coming up to her, stilling her frantic hands as they smoothed the flyaway hairs that haloed her head. He couldn't help but smile at her swollen mouth and pink cheeks.

"This isn't funny!" she whispered emphatically.

"I know, I know," he whispered back standing flush to her. His hand found hers and Sid laced his fingers into hers. "Let me take care of this. I'll meet you on the terrace in 30 minutes. Wait a minute, then you can come out. It will be alright," he gave a reassuring smile and watched as her face washed with relief.

"Ok,"she agreed. He bent down and brushed his lips against hers. "We will finish this, I promise." Sid smiled suggestively to which Caroline returned a similar smile.

When Sidney entered the living room it took only a few seconds for Austin's friends to lose it. They had seen Sid around at the brunch, but they never thought they'd get a chance to see the superstar up close.

"Sid, what's up man," Austin said casually, an obvious attempt to impress his friends.

Sid smiled, "Just using the bathroom, those shrimp puffs were brutal."

The boys laughed and in seconds Sid maneuvered the group out of the living room andoff to show them a few stick tricks in the backyard. A minute later Caroline slipped out undetected.

* * *

She found the other WAGS out on the terrace, the mimosas had flown freely for a few good hours now and it seemed Michelle Cooke was no longer feeling any pain. Caroline was relieved to find that the cut on her foot was small and had looked worse than it really was. Caroline apologized and the whole incident was forgotten. Sure enough, not many minutes later Sidney came into view grabbing a bottled water from the beverage station. Her face heated up at the position they had been in less than an hour ago. She watched as his fingers curled around the water bottle and he smiled congenially at the bartender. Those fingers, she thought as she found herself in a trance replaying the events and shuddered with the anticipation to finish what had started.

"Caroline, there you are, I have been looking all over for you." The sound of a haughty voice broke Caroline of her thoughts. Caroline swung around and was met with the stern stare of Cameron Spencer. Caroline groaned inwardly, Cameron was truly the last person Caroline wanted to see.

"Oh hi," Caroline said lamely, her hands immediately began to fidget. Cameron glanced at Caroline's hands then spoke,

"I know I was harsh on you earlier, I tend to forget that people aren't naturals at that kind of thing. Sid makes it so effortless, than I assumed you would too." There was something about the way Cameron said this that rubbed Caroline the wrong way, but she wasn't going to get into it with the blonde. "I can only do so much with awkwardness but I'm sure if I get creative there is something we can do with you." It was hard to tell that Caroline was being insulted when Cameron flashed a brilliant smile at her. "We will make it work!" The enthusiasm was painfully forced.

"Yeah," Caroline said lightly, "I get the feeling you can spin anything your way," she mimicked the smile and Cameron's eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly. "Well then, let's see what we can do to make you more comfortable in front of the camera."

_For Sid, for Sid, for Sid_. Caroline chanted to herself and listened patiently for the next 15 minutes about what Cameron was going to "need Caroline to do." Caroline's mind spun as Cameron filled her in on "tips and tricks" to be camera ready. She made passive aggressive comments about Caroline's posture and the crinkles by her eyes. But Caroline refused to waiver. She just nodded her head and smiled tightly. Just when Caroline felt like she couldn't take it anymore she felt a hand come up to the small of her back.

"Hello ladies," Sid said smoothly, flashing a grin at the women as he came up to Caroline's side. His arm curled around her waist and he drew Caroline in close. Cameron smiled brilliantly, although her eyes flickered to Sid's hand and Caroline could swear she saw a spark of irritation. "How are things going here?" he asked looking at Caroline.

"Good," she choked out, giving Sid a reassuring smile.

"Excellent Sidney," Cameron's voice was silky smooth. "I was just giving Caroline a few tricks of the trade. You know getting her comfortable with her new role." Caroline flinched at Cameron's words, "new role?" What did that mean?

"She'll be a natural in no time," Cameron continued, tossing her long blond hair over her shoulder and smiled even wider if possible.

Caroline felt Sid squeeze her waist, "Thanks Cameron, I appreciate it. I know you'll make it look great." Caroline fought the urge to roll her eyes. She knew Sidney spent a lot of time saying what everyone needed to hear, always so diplomatic when all Caroline wanted to do was book Cameron on a one way flight to Fiji.

"Oh Sid, you're going to make me blush," gushed Cameron, her hand reaching out and grasping his bicep. "I love what I do and I do it well, you know what that's like." The last sentence came out like a purr and hung in the air. Sid just smiled, seemingly oblivious.

"Sid," Caroline said, interrupting the mutual admiration club that was evidently in session all of a sudden. "Um, are you ready to get going?" she didn't want to be tacky but it was obvious the party was beginning to wind down and Caroline had had her fill of Cameron Spencer for the day.

Sid looked at Caroline, "Oh yeah, sure. Let's find Taylor." They said their goodbyes to Cameron and the rest of the party goers, as well as the Lemieux's. Nathalie was gracious as she handed Caroline back her plattered and thanks them all for coming.

* * *

Hours later Caroline, Sid and Taylor were sprawled out on the floor of Sid's family room, a rousing game of Trivial Pursuit underway. Clad in comfy clothes, the trio sat around the large coffee table and indulged in Vocelli's pizza as they chatted animatedly about the afternoon at the Lemieux's.

"That Cameron is beyotch," Taylor said matter of factly as she moved her piece three spaces.

"Tay!" Sid scolded looking outraged at his sister.

"What? She is." Taylor responded hotly. "She likes you too. I can tell."

Caroline felt the heat creep up on her cheeks and became very interested in the crust of her pizza.

She felt Sid's eyes on her but couldn't meet his gaze.

"That is absolutely not true," he argued. "Care, don't listen to her. She obviously has no idea what she is talking about." Sid glared at Taylor.

Taylor seemed unfazed by the whole thing.

"Whatever, I'm just saying, she's too...ugh, Barbie doll, and..." Taylor paused for emphasis, "She talked to me like I was freakin' twelve years old."

Caroline smiled weakly at Taylor, "She did that to me too." Caroline glanced at Sid, he seemed more uncomfortable than she about the conversation, "But, she knows a lot about PR stuff and she's engaged. I'm sure she is harmless. I'm not worried." Caroline leaned over and pressed her lips lightly to Sid's cheek although she had to admit that last part was a lie, she was worried...kind of.

Sid smiled and Taylor giggled and the attention was brought back to the game.

It was a tight game. Each player had four pieces with Caroline about to go for her fifth. The category was People and Places for the blue pie slice. Taylor drew the card and looked at the question. She immediately began to giggle.

"Ok, this is a good one." Taylor looked at Sid then at Caroline and read the question.

"This Olympian's gold medal dramatic win was the most watched event in the 2010 Vancouver Winter Games."

Caroline didn't miss a beat, "Apolo Ohno," she said confidently.

Taylor stared for a moment and then burst into laughter. She fell over onto the lush carpet in a fit, clutching the game card in her hand. Caroline was completely lost. She looked at Sid who was staring at her totally nonplussed.

"That's not right?" she asked confused.

Sidney just shook his head while Taylor continued to laugh. Caroline was starting to feel self conscious. She pried the card from Taylor's hand and flipped it over. Instantly a wave of heat washed over her.

"Sidney Crosby," she said hollowly staring at the card, then at Sid. Her face felt like an outdoor barbeque.

"Sorry," she said lamely, while he just grinned. The crinkles around his eyes most pronounced, his dimples piercing his cheeks.

"My ego is definitely safe with you," he teased stealing a kiss before he picked up the die and took his turn.

In the end Taylor won the game, she won it on an entertainment question about some MTV reality show. As they cleaned up the game, the inevitable elephant in the room finally made its presence known.

"Are you spending the night?" Taylor asked pointedly.

Caroline didn't know what to say, she had hoped she would but didn't want to make things awkward for Sidney's sister. Plus while things with Sidney were back on track, she wondered if it was too presumptuous to assume that they were totally back to normal.

"I don't..." Caroline began at the same time Sid said, "Yes."

Taylor seemed unfazed and shrugged her shoulders, "Cool, I'll see you in the morning, I'm going to Skype some friends," she bounced up off the floor and gave Caroline, then Sid a tight hug before heading upstairs to the guest room.

"That's ok right?" his voice was unusually tentative.

Caroline nodded quickly, "Yes," she breathed. "That's very ok."

They watched TV for a while on the couch, Caroline pressed up to Sid's side, her head leaning against his upper arm while he surfed the channels before settling on some sitcom rerun.

They enjoyed the comfortable silence for a little while until Sidney's voice broke through the quiet,

"You have nothing to worry about," he said quietly. Caroline didn't have to ask what he meant. He continued, "I've been around women like Cameron for a while now. They over compensate. It's a boys club you know, its just the way it is. She's good at what she does, you have to have a certain type of personality for that kind of stuff. But seriously, she is no threat." He looked at her with hopeful eyes.

"I trust you," Caroline said solemnly. _I just don't trust her_, she thought to herself.

He gave her a smile that slowly turned into something else, "So," he drawled, his hand covering her upper thigh that was clothed in a pair of his sweats. "How about," his mouth found the curve of her jaw, "we go upstairs," his mouth traveled down the slope of her neck nipping playfully as Caroline tilted her head to give him more room to work with, "and finish what we started earlier." He ended the sentence with his mouth soft on hers. Without breaking the kiss, Caroline nodded and linked her arms around his neck pulling him tight to her. After a few minutes of making out, he pulled away. His eyes danced on hers, his lips huge and ruby red.

"Apolo Ohno? Really?"

Caroline looked scandalized. "It was a trick question, the wording wasn't right." she searched her mind for any other excuse she could think of but before she could offer another reason, his mouth was back onn hers.

He ended up breaking his rule of waiting until she agreed to move in before they slept in his bed. His need was too great, Sidney knew it was all a matter of time before the pieces came together. They made love slowly, savoring every inch of one another until neither could wait any longer. He rocked himself slowly into her. Their hands intertwined, their mouths fused together. The rightness of it all nearly more satisfying than the feeling of their bodies joined as one. He swallowed her cries of pleasure and looked forward to the day when her here was normal, when their lives would be as joined together as their bodies now were. He was comforted by that and after as he pulled her warm and supple form to his, he drifted into the most restful sleep he'd had in weeks.


	7. Chapter 7: Everything to Everyone

_***Author's note: Sorry for the delay. Went up to Ohio/Penn for family and vacation time. Attended my first Penguins game and true to my lifetime of bad luck sid got injured and the game I went to was the one that broke the streak. Ah well. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter, I feel like it's a transitional chapter and will get things moving. As always your reviews are to me like milkshakes are to sid. Ha.*** _

The first thing she felt when Caroline awoke was the heat. The body behind her was flush to hers, the warmth it emitted was something she hadn't felt in weeks. Sidney's feet were tangled in hers, the coarse hairs on his shins rubbed up against the tender skin on the back of her calves. His solid thighs curled into her, as the heaviness of his penis sat on the seam of her buttocks. HIs belly and chest flattened against her back and his left arm was a cage around her, his large hand resting on her stomach. His face buried in her hair and the only sound she could hear was the evenness of his breathing as sleep still claimed him. She didn't want to move an inch. Feeling him so close, so peaceful. The beat of his heart pressed into her shoulder blade and Caroline relished it. It was warm but not uncomfortably so. This was something she wanted to savor, to treasure. The sun hadn't rose yet. The years as a school teacher had trained her to wake at an early hour, even when it was vacation or a weekend. She guessed the time was 6:30. Sid had practice at 9 o'clock. Just before sleep claimed them last night he had set his alarm for 7:30. She had an hour. 60 minutes to bask in the feeling of him completely consuming her. Holding her so close, not a molecule of air between them. She lay there feeling everything as her mind drifted to the previous night. Sid had carried her to the bed and laid her down with such care. As she started to peel off the t-shirt he had lent her, his hands had stilled her. He seemed so intent on taking things slow. Painfully slow. She stared at him as his hands moved over her body, deliberate and calculating, like he was trying to figure out what formula had created her. It had sent a chill throughout Caroline. His fingers ghosted over her cheeks, her neck, her arms, his eyes following his fingers. His lips were parted and full, as if filled with unspoken words that he seemed hesitant to drop into the silence. He was so intense that she wondered if it wasn't for her body he was examining, would he even know she was there? His hands circled her waist, his thumbs pressing down into the bottom of her ribs. He rubbed methodically and although it was rather ticklish, Caroline found that she couldn't move a muscle. In an instant he had pushed the t-shirt up and over her head. Her shoulders lifted then fell back against pillows and she resumed her position now in only a simple pale blue bra. Her breasts heaved up and out of the cups as her breathing became more and more labored. Sid wasted no time burying his head into her chest and breathing her in. She held him close to her, understanding that, for them, these past few weeks had been brutal. That all the stubbornness and hard feelings, the uncertainty and fear of the future, none of it was worth being apart from one another. Their bodies couldn't fight what their minds and hearts tried so hard to do. His mouth was hot on her body, pressing heavy wet kisses across the swell of her breasts as his fingers worked at the clasp easily. Her bra was quickly gone, sometime later the sweatpants and her panties. Sidney touched her everywhere, slowly, carefully, reverently. Savoring the feelings, Caroline's hands began their own exploration. She was a lucky girl, having so much more body to work with. His skin was so smooth and warm, she felt his muscles flex beneath her palms, she traced the freckles on his skin, memorizing the map on his body of marks, some he had been born with and some that had become battle wounds from his lifetime on the ice. Quickly, easily, everything else fell away until all that existed was skin and mouths, limbs and lips, touches and gasps. Finally, Sids hands found hers, intertwining their fingers. His eyes bore down onto her, soft but bright.

"I'm sorry," the whisper falling from his lips.

She was taken aback. Not wanting to break the mood she leaned forward and captured his lips in hers. She didn't want him to say anything else. The sorries, the regrets, the decisions made whether good or bad, the resent, the fear, the uncertainties, they didn't matter, not now at least. She just wanted to feel him with her. For now that was more than enough.

And now as the hour ticked down until he woke and Caroline felt every part of him, meld into her, she realized she just couldn't tell him that she had been wrong then, that he was wrong now, that she did want to marry him, bring her life and his together in the most complete way. She couldn't tell him. She would have to show him.

The first thing he felt when Sidney awoke was the cold. His bedmate, his source of warmth was gone. For a split second he wondered if she had left. If yesterday, hadn't been enough of a fix to the tentative ground they had walked on for weeks. But as soon the thought struck him, it left him. She wouldn't leave like that. They had come too far for that. What helped also was the smell of bacon that was quickly filling into his room and the clock on the bedside table that read 7:30. There was no way Taylor was up at this hour cooking. With a grin he hopped out of bed and trotted to the bathroom.

A few minutes later he wandered into the kitchen and took in the sight. Caroline stood in front of the stove, her hair up in a messy bun, tendrils of hair escaped and tickled at the nape of her neck. The t-shirt of Sid's she had borrowed fell down to midthigh and covered the boxer shorts she must have stolen from his underwear drawer. The boxers had been a gag gift from the team last year, cartoon penguins with bandages wrapped around their heads looking dizzy. His eyes followed the curve of her thigh, down to the slope of her calf as her foot came up to scratch the calf with her big toe. She held a spatula in one hand and the sounds of humming and bacon sizzling filled the kitchen.

"Hey," he said easily making his way towards her.

Caroline started for a second, then turned around. If someone were to ever ask him to describe Caroline in one word at that moment, he would say sunshine. She glowed. Her eyes were a lit with delight upon seeing him, her grin showed off her bright smile and her flushed cheeks were the perfect indicator that seeing him first thing in the morning was something she definitely enjoyed.

"Hi," she said rather enthusiastically for such an early morning. Then her brow furrowed and the corners of her mouth turned down. "I wanted to surprise you, breakfast in bed, but the bacon was frozen, so it's taking a while."

He didn't know he even had bacon. He assumed it had been from a recent trip from his parents when his mother always seemed to overbuy on the groceries she and Troy would need for their visit.

"That's ok," he said grinning, his arms coming around her waist and pulling her back towards him. Instantly Caroline relaxed into him.

"You don't have any bread either, so I thought I would improvise with these tortillas I found…" she trailed off, feeling his lips trail down the column of her neck.

"Mmmhmm," he murmured absently.

"I wanted to make you a good breakfast before practice," she said distractedly as his hands gripped her hips and his tongue lapped at her neck.

"You're the perfect breakfast," he whispered as her turned her into his arms and captured her mouth with his. She didn't protest but instead opened her mouth and eagerly accepted his minty tongue. After a few moments the smell of burning bacon broke them of their trance. Caroline pulled away quickly and shoved the pan off the burner. All flustered she turned the knob to the off position and waved her hand to dissipate the smoke.

"Stay," he said over her shoulder.

"Huh?," she said absently, her arms waving unnecessarily.

"Caroline," Sid grabbed at her arm and turned her back to him. He pressed his forehead to hers and looked at her. "This week, stay here, with me. Please. Everything is going to change soon, I just want this time. Please."

His insistence was unnecessary and she gave him her answer in the form of a toe curling kiss.

"Oh my eyes!" A new voice came into the room and Caroline jumped from Sid as if he was the burning bacon.

Taylor came into the room dressed for the day and giggling. "Relax, I'm kidding."

Caroline mustered up an embarrassed smile, as Sid just grinned completely unaffected.

"So Sid," Taylor said picking up a banana, "1 pm, right? Opening day?"

Sidney stared at his sister his face blank until he put two and two together.

"Oh Tay," he started his face pained by what he was about to say.

Instantly Taylor's face fell. "It's not gonna happen?" she asked sadly.

Sid looked from Taylor to Caroline, who was figuring out the disappointment to come.

"I have this interview with SI after practice. Photo shoot and sit down, the whole nine yards. It's for the playoff issue. I can't get out of it..."

He didn't need to go any further, Taylor got it. She was used to this, him never available. It just never stopped hurting less.

"I got it," she said abruptly.

"I'm really sor-"

"I got it," Taylor interrupted, her face stony. "It's no big deal. I'll find something else to do..." she trailed off clearly bummed out by the change in plans.

"I'll go with you," Caroline spoke up.

Two pairs of Crosby eyes turned to look at her.

"Really?" Taylor asked, her face starting to thaw.

"Sure," Caroline said pleasantly, "I love baseball. My dad and brothers come into town at least once a year for us to catch a game. They're Indians fans but since its a different league, they root for the Pirates too. i have a Jones jersey and everything. I would like to go if you don't mind."

Sid stared for a moment, a slight wave of jealousy washed over him. She knew about the Pirates but not the Penguins. But the Penguins were so much better than...

"Awesome!" Taylor's exclamation broke Sid of his train of thought.

"I can't offer anything fancy..." Caroline trailed off. She doubted the owner's box would be available to just the two of them, not that it really appealed that much to her.

"I'll get you behind home plate," Sid spoke up. "I can join you guys for dinner, we can go to The Milkshake Factory after," he said referring to his sister's favorite place in the city.

Taylor beamed at Sid and over bacon burritos all was almost forgiven.

The rest of the week ended up pretty much the same way. The plans Taylor had in mind continued to change daily. It was always something that kept Sid from spending the much desired time with his sister and his girfriend. Interviews, extra workouts, prepping for the final game of the season. Whatever it was the same thing would happen, plans would be broken and each time it seemed to take a little bit longer for Taylor to get over it. For Caroline, Sid's loss was her gain. She got to spend a ton of time with Taylor during that week. A lifetime without a sister was fortified by the time the two spent together. The more time Caroline spent with Taylor the closer they got. Shopping, movies, going out for lunch, all of it created this perfect week for Caroline. She of course had an unfair advantage, while Taylor slept, Caroline got the much needed alone time with Sidney. They didn't talk much. By the time the two were together they had only one use for their mouths.

By Friday the week of disappointment for Taylor came to a head. Caroline could only marvel at how fast the time had gone. Tomorrow would the be last game of the season, a win for Pittsburgh would put them in first place not only in their division but also in the conference. Trina and Troy were flying in Saturday morning for the big game, then they would take their daughter back to Minnesota for her to finish out her junior year. Taylor and Sidney had finally gotten their afternoon together, one on one skating time at the Consol, a favor Sid seemed to be asking Manny for more than ever. Taylor's nationals were coming up and she wanted to sharpen her goalie skills and Sidney was the best competition anyone could ask for. Caroline had hung back, understanding the need for the siblings to get some bonding time in a week that had flown by. She instead was putting together a pretty impressive spaghetti dinner, using her Pop Pop's all day sauce recipe. She had just added in the meatballs when voices carried from the garage into the kitchen. Caroline wiped her hands as she watched Taylor burst into the room with Sid trailing after her.

"I don't know what you want me to say," Sid said crossly. "I'm sorry."

Taylor kept on walking tears streaming down her face and right past Caroline without a glance.

"You're always sorry." she cried and rushed up the stairs to the solace of her guest room.

Sid threw his bag into a nearby chair and cursed loudly. Caroline wasn't sure what to say, she wondered if they even noticed she was in the room.

"Hey, everything ok?" Caroline asked in a gentle voice.

Sid realizing she was there looked at her, the frustration written all over his face.

"Yeah, no, ah I don't know. She's mad at me," he said waving a hand to the upstairs.

"What happened?" Caroline asked walking towards him and putting her hand on his forearm in a comforting gesture.

"We were supposed to do some drills together, do some shoot out work, but when I got to the Consol, well there were some things they needed me to go over in the front office. I mean, come on, tomorrow is the last game of the season. It's a big game. It means home ice and who we are going to be paired up with in the first round. I needed to be there to help figure out some plays. By the time I was done they had to close up the ice. I felt terrible, I didn't mean to lose track of time, but she had to cut me some slack. This is an important time for me."

He was clearly upset with Taylor's reaction, but Caroline couldn't help but see the young woman's side of the story. She had her Nationals next week, she had come all this way to spend the week with her brother and all she had gotten was cancelled plans.

Caroline knew she needed to tread carefully, but she had to be a voice for Taylor.

"She has her Nationals next week, I think she was hoping to get some practice in." Caroline said tentatively.

Sid heaved a heavy sigh. "I know that."

"Well, I think she just feels disappointed, she was hoping to have all this brother sister time and you have been really busy. This was important to her," Caroline protested.

Sidney rounded on her, "I said I know. Do you think I don't know that? That what I can give her isn't enough. That she is always disappointed. That I am constantly disappointing someone. I have obligations. She knows that. I give what I can, but it can't be everything. You of all people should know that." His voice was sharp and it cut right through Caroline. She refused to fall under these excuses once again. He wasn't a bad person, he didn't do these things out of spite or cruelty, but he did over extend himself. Make promises he just couldn't keep. Caroline wouldn't let this ruin what they had spent the last 24 hours trying to fix.

"I do know, believe me I know, but that doesn't change the fact that she is a seventeen year old girl who just wants to spend time with her brother and share in the one thing they love the most." The last part of her sentence hung in the air.

Sid was silent for a few moments, his body tense. He got so defensive whenever his time spent was questioned. She knew that if he could do all, be all for everyone, he would. There just wasn't enough time in the day.

Caroline straightened her spine, she chose not to go down this road, not now, not when the dinner she had spent hours on was about to be ruined. "Regardless," she said in her teacher voice, "This is your last night together. Let's not spend it arguing about things we can't control. Dinner will be done soon, then maybe you and Taylor can go over to the local rink and get your time in. Its no Consol I'm sure, but it's something and she will appreciate the effort, I know she will. Now if you could stir the meatballs and make sure they don't burn, I will go talk to Taylor." She gave him a hopeful smile and hoped she didn't sound too bossy. Sid just gaped at her, torn between a retort to keep the argument fueled and a thank you for figuring out a solution to the problem. Caroline didn't give him an opportunity to chose, instead she walked purposely past him. Out of nowhere an arm shot out and he pulled her into him. His head went right to her neck, "I'm sorry. You're pretty unbelievable." he mumbled into her neck, his lips lingering on her tender skin. She pulled back and smiled brilliantly.

"I know."

Caroline knocked at the guest door and waited for permission to come in. There was no answer.

"Taylor? It's me, Caroline. Can I come in?"

She waited, after a few seconds she finally heard a quiet "ok."

Entering the room she saw the girl sprawled out on the bed, her fingers flying away at the iPhone screen. Tear tracks lined her cheeks and she sniffled loudly. "I hate him."

Caroline walked to the bed, she might not have ever had a sister, but she definitely had more than one occasion when she was pretty sure she hated her brothers with every ounce of her being. "I know it feels like you do, but you don't." she replied diplomatically.

Taylor just sniffled. "Did you know he hasn't seen me on my birthday since I was six years old?" Caroline was silent. "I see him three or four times a year and even then its always a fight for his time. I should have known this week was too good to be true. He sounded so excited a few weeks ago, making all these plans and then poof, the week is over and nothing."  
"Not nothing," Caroline interjected. "There was some pretty cool stuff that we did."

Taylor scoffed, "You don't understand."

Caroline didn't know a lot, but one thing she understood was the abbreviated time with Sid, it was something she would have to be willing to live with if she wanted to spend her life with him. Broken promises, cancelled plans, they would happen again and again. It was inevitable. But that didn't mean it wasn't all worth it. Caroline knew it had to be hard for Taylor to have a part-time brother, but he was a good brother. He loved her fiercely, he paid for her school, he tried to be what she needed him to be. If he failed once in a while it didn't make him a bad person, it just made him human.

"I know there is a lot of stuff I don't know or understand about you and Sid and I wish things could be different but I do know that he loves you a lot and he wants nothing more than to be and do all those things you want. I'm not saying you aren't allowed to be disappointed, you are, but I have to believe that he's a little disappointed too...that you don't get to spend a lot of time together, I mean." Caroline quickly corrected herself.

Taylor just stared at Caroline.

"I hate that you make sense," she mumbled looking out at the window, the darkness falling quickly. Then Taylor looked at Caroline with that same Crosby intensity that she had seen so many times in Sidney. "You're different...than the others."

Caroline blinked.

"No, not that there are others, I mean the ones before, not that there were a lot of them. I mean, you're just so different than anyone he had ever...liked."

Caroline blushed. She looked at her hands, it was so easy to say all the right things when she wasn't the topic at hand. When she got pulled into the equation, she became flustered and unsure.

"We're different" Caroline said quietly. "But it works...somehow."

"I know," Taylor said thoughtfully, "You're not like them, you're not like him, but you're right for him. I can tell. I've never had a sister, but if I did I would want her to be like you."

Caroline felt the waterworks begin and before she could help it, the tears fell.

"Me too." she replied and laughed when Taylor rolled her eyes and confessed that Sid had mentioned Caroline could be "a little emotional" at times.

The evening ended on a high note. Dinner was delicious and the Crosby siblings made it to the Sewickley ice rink for a key match up of brother against sister. That night as they laid in bed, Caroline rested her head on Sidney's stomach and stared up at the ceiling.

"Tell me something no one else knows," Caroline said absently, turning her head to look up at him. He seemed startled by her words and was thoughtful for a minute. "It's not what I love most," he said finally. Caroline looked confused. "Earlier," he clarified, "You said that hockey was what Taylor and I loved most. I don't know about her, but hockey isn't what I love the most. You know that, right?" He didn't say the words but she knew what he meant. She wondered if that qualified as an answer to her request. She wondered if people thought he wasn't capable of anything else...loving anything as much as he loved the game. She wondered if they banked on the hope that he didn't, that there would never be something, someone that took that focus away. He wanted it all, but if this week was any indicator it was nearly impossible and who paid that sacrifice? The team, his family, her?

The part that broke her heart was that they all did, but who paid it most of all was him.

"Ok," his voice interrupted her thoughts, "I can tell you are thinking way too much, I guess I am just going to have to show you," he said playfully as he dragged her up to him. Caroline let the deep thoughts fall away and allowed him to plead his case.

And he did.

Saturday came, Troy and Trina came into town and the Crosby family had its rare chance to be whole again. The Penguins won 4-2 against the Devils. The 2012-2013 season that had started so rocky had endured a slump, a superstition, a lucky charm and a love story and would now fight for a cup.


	8. Chapter 8: Celebration

Caroline had only been in the team locker room once before. Then everything had overwhelmed her, the sounds and sights were so new and foreign to her that it was easy to be intimidated. Now as she entered the room along with Sid's parents and Taylor it was intimidating in a whole new way. Everything just seem magnified. There were reporters everywhere, along with families and friends congratulating the team on their turbulent but successful season. The noise was deafening, as had the crowd been that night. Caroline had sat in Mario's suite along with Troy, Trina and Taylor, as well as the Lemieux family. The entire game she had sat on the edge of her seat, her eyes focused on the puck. Her hands had clenched together as she sat tense in the close game. As the final seconds ticked down, New Jersey pulled their goalie and the one point lead was made two with an empty net goal by Pascal Dupuis. The Consol erupted with thunderous cheers as the team congregated and celebrated the pivotal win. It's funny how when you fall in love, the other person's success and happiness becomes your success and happiness and for Caroline she couldn't be more excited for this achievement. Caroline hugged the Crosby's and then the Lemieux's, she couldn't shake the permagrin off her face and it remained plastered on her face as she made her way down to the locker room. A year ago, hell six months ago she didn't know anything about this team and absolutely nothing about its captain, now here she was her heart full and adrenaline racing through her veins as she waited to congratulate Sidney on his success. She watched as he was surrounded by the media. Cameras, microphones and iPhones shoved in his face. He sat there completely unfazed as usual. Wearing only his spandex, the Penguins hat sat on his head as sweat poured off him. His smiled at the reporters as he recapped the game and the Penguins important win. It wasn't long until the media wrapped up their questions and moved along. His eyes found hers from across the room and just like the movies he stood and walked towards her as everything else just fell away, suddenly Caroline couldn't see or hear anything except Sidney coming closer and the beat of her heart. And then she was in his arms, he picked her up and spun her around, the pure joy radiating off him. She squealed like one of those cheerleaders she had mocked in high school, the girls who dated the star quarterback and always looked impossibly perfect. But at that moment Caroline could have cared less. She was so happy for him, for them, to have something to be happy about instead of analyzing everything about their relationship. He deposited her back onto the ground and without hesitation placed his hands on her cheeks and pressed his lips to hers. No matter how much everyone knew now about how they had gotten together, only the two of them really knew how much this season had played a part in their coming together and the kiss was the culmination of all of it. In a split second there were flashes of light and voices surrounding them, but all that mattered in that second was them. He pulled back and grinned that heart stopping grin.

Caroline matched his smile, "Congratulations," she breathed and hugged him fiercely not minding at all his stench of sweat.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear.

"Me too," she whispered back.

He hugged his father and his mother, then a little tighter and a little longer, Taylor. The sacrifice, Caroline thought back to, this is what it was all for.

There was a big party planned that night for the Penguins and their loved ones, but Sid asked if just the five of them could go to dinner first to celebrate the win. "I want it to be just us," he told them.

They ended up at a local place that was a favorite of the Crosby's. It wasn't the fanciest place in town, but it had been the first place the family had eaten the day Sidney arrived in Pittsburgh all those years ago. The restaurant was happy to welcome the family and Caroline and provided them the party room so they had complete seclusion. The restaurant was warm and cozy. White linen tablecloths and votive candles adorned the table. The lighting was low and soft music funneled into the background as the table of five was animated with conversation. Caroline sat next to Sid, her thigh pressed to his, as his arm hung casually against the back of her chair. He spoke quickly and excitedly with his father and sister as he recapped some key plays in the game. Occasionally his fingers would brush up against her shoulder that was now bare as she had changed out of her usual Crosby sweater and jeans and into a pink lace dress that bared her arms, cinched at the waist and flared out at the knee. Sid looked the picture of casual elegance in a crisp white shirt, dark slacks and his still hair wet but styled, his dark tendrils already beginning to curl at the nape of his neck. Caroline couldn't stop smiling as she listened to the excitement and pride in Sid's voice. They dined on steaks and fresh fish, Sid and his father enjoyed an old fashioned as Caroline and Trina sipped at the white wine and for a moment Caroline nearly pinched herself at the scene. This family who had embraced so easily had become her family, whether she was ready to admit it or not. She looked around the table and couldn't feel anything but total inclusion.

And then reality struck.

"Sid sweetie, I was thinking your father and I could work on the house this coming week, I want to get all the details out of the way before your games start." Trina said across Caroline to her son.

Caroline at first didn't quite understand the statement, but the trepidation that flashed in Sid's eyes got her pulse racing as she had the sinking feeling that there was once again something out of her scope of understanding.

"Yeah, that would be great, you know it's all up in the air right now," Sid said slowly.

"Oh I know I just want to have all the details taken care of. I really feel like you could go all the way this year and if that's the case you won't have any time for the move."

Move? Caroline watched the exchange like a tennis match, her eyes shifting from mother to son, trying to make sense of the conversation.

Trina, sensing Caroline's confusion tried to clarify, "Don't look so worried sweetie, it's part of our spring ritual. We pack up Sidney for the summer so he can get ready for the months up north."

Caroline continued to be confused, this was his home. She knew that Cole Harbour was home too, she figured that he probably went home a few weeks in the summer to see his extended family and friends but other than that she had assumed he just stayed in Pittsburgh.

By now Caroline should have known better about assuming.

Caroline whipped her head towards Sid, who had closed his eyes and looked as if he was mentally counting to ten.

And then there was Trina. Caroline and Sidney's mom had developed a friendship over the past few months. Caroline had soon learned the part they played in Sid's life professionally and knew that while they loved their son fiercely, they also had a business relationship with him as well. It was too complicated for Caroline to wrap her mind around, so it was one of the many things she just pushed to the back of her mind. Caroline knew that for Trina, it was all about Sid, all the time. They both loved him dearly and that created a bond for them, but Caroline knew when to take a backseat to Trina's expectations of the place she held in his heart.

"Oh don't look so troubled sweetie," Trina said comfortingly and obliviously to Caroline as she placed her hand on Caroline's. "You'll love Nova Scotia, especially in the summer when everything is so green."

It was then that Caroline felt the panic. That feeling you get when you feel like you have forgotten something really important. The recurring nightmare where you have forgotten to study for the important test or didn't even bother to show up for class all semester until the day of the final.

That's when it hit her, Sid wouldn't need to stay in Pittsburgh after the playoffs were over. It was only April. The season wouldn't start again until October. That was six months away. If by some chance they got knocked out of the playoffs in the first round he could be gone in just a few weeks and wouldn't come back until October. Instantly Caroline felt sick. She would visit him of course, but she was in school until June. She had day camp with the school kids all summer. School would start back up again in August. All season she had put up with the trips away because she thought that eventually they would have their time together.

How could she have been so stupid? Oh god, she didn't even have a passport.

Suddenly she felt his fingers interlace with hers as he took her trembling hand out of her lap and placed it securely in his. "Don't worry." his eyes were open now and soft on hers. Speaking to his mother, Sid continued, "We haven't really talked about summer quite yet. I'm not sure what exactly my plan is."

Troy suddenly took interest in this conversation. "Not sure? Well if you win the cup we'll see you in June. LA for July and part of August and then there's camp in Colorado and Montreal, oh and the stakeholders meeting in Halifax in mid-August and don't forget Olympic trials in Berlin the first part of September." He spouted off his son's schedule like a grocery list and Caroline felt a lead weight drop in the pit of her stomach.

"Can we talk about this later?" Sid asked, exasperation evident in his voice. "I just want to enjoy tonight."

Caroline had a million questions on the tip of her tongue. But one seemed to hang in the air unspoken. "Where do I fit into all of this?"

Sacrifice. He was always the one to sacrifice. Seeing that joy on his face tonight, this celebration, this moment was his reward for all of that. She couldn't take it away from him with her selfish concerns, not now.

Putting on her bravest smile, she squeezed his hand, "We will figure it out." And she leaned over and pressed her lips to his cheek until the dimple formed beneath her mouth.

Tomorrow she would apply for her passport, today was about him.

* * *

It was a quiet night on Kensington Drive. Out in Moon Township, large expanses of rolling green yards separated the extravagant homes by a few acres. There were no sidewalks but seeing that only the luxury vehicles of the street's homeowners traveled the dead end road, there really was no need. In the distance a party could be heard. Laughter and music echoed in the quiet night, not loud or a disturbance by any means, but enough that someone out for a late night stroll or walking their dog would hear the celebration at the Bylsma's residence and know that the coach and his team were celebrating a special night. The dog walker might also notice about 100 feet down the street parked on the side of the road, a safe distance from the party and the partygoers arriving and departing, sat a large dark grey Range Rover. At first glance, the car could be perceived as empty, but if someone were to get too close they would see that the tinted windows hid quite a bit, but what would be unmistakable was the heavy fog that lined the windows from front to back. Windows steamed up by an impromptu celebration of one's own.

Her inner thighs spread over the top of his as she straddled him in the driver's seat. Her hands on his warm cheeks as her mouth plundered his over and over again. His hands were firm on her hips, her splayed legs positioned her center just perfectly over the bulge that strained against his black pants. Neither could get enough. Sighs and moans echoed in the SUV, as hands and mouths moved in rhythm. Caroline rocked slowly against Sid, seeking relief from this make out session that had started as soon as Sid had placed the car in park. Not a moment after she had unlatched the seatbelt, Caroline felt Sidney's large hand reach out for her and lead her over the middle console and onto his lap. Instantly his hands were in her hair and his mouth consumed hers. The rest of the Crosbys had headed home to get to bed. They had a morning flight and needed to turn in early. Sid and Caroline had made their way in his car over to the neighboring town of Moon to make an appearance at the gathering Mary Beth Bylsma had put together in honor of her husband and his team. But now it seemed as if neither Sid nor Caroline were in any rush to arrive.

Caroline pressed herself heavily into Sid. Despite being swollen and raw from over 20 minutes of kissing, her lips moved over his as her tongue swept into his mouth and began battle. Sid squeezed her hips and pushed her more firmly against him. Caroline surged, relishing in the satisfaction the friction provided. Her hands moved from his cheeks and into his hair, her fingers weaving through the locks and falling to the nape of his neck. Tearing his mouth away, he buried his head into her neck and breathed her in. The sounds of breaths being taken now filled the space, as they both tried to collect themselves. Pressing light kisses against her skin, Sid ran his hands up and down her back, sadly calling an end to the celebration of their own.

"We should talk about the summer," he said into her skin, his breathing still ragged.

Caroline pulled back and looked down at him. His eyes were still dark with desire, his hair now stuck up in all directions and his perfect lips were somehow even bigger and more full than she thought possible.

"Not tonight," she whispered, her mouth equally swollen as she bent her head and pecked his mouth lovingly. Her hand found its way between the two of them and began massaging him through his trousers. "Tonight," she said trailing her lips across his cheek, over his jaw line and down his neck, "Is all about you."

Fifteen minutes and one very satisfying hand job later, they straightened their clothes and made their way out of the Range Rover and up the street to the illuminated house.

The party was a small affair, mostly just the team and their loved ones. And everyone noticed when the captain entered the home and joined the party. Hoots and hollers, cheers and handshakes bombarded the couple and before Caroline could even say division champs, Sid was swept away by his teammates. Caroline beelined for the other WAGs and said her hellos, hoping that her tousled hair and swollen lips didn't give away too much. The looks she received dashed her hopes, but luckily no one said anything. Looking around at the crowd, Caroline spotted Geno and his girlfriend in the corner. Making her way over to the couple, Caroline couldn't help the warm feeling she got in her chest when she saw the Russian superstar. There was some sort of bond, a kinship she felt with him. It was hard to explain, it wasn't romantic at all, just a tentative friendship that she valued.

She was on her path towards the couple when she was met with an obstruction. A very blond obstruction.

"Hey Caroline," purred Cameron, her clipboard in one hand, a glass of white wine in the other. She wore a tight, low cut red dress and her hair in loose waves around her shoulders.

"Oh, hi," Caroline said, her eyes now focused on the PR beauty before her. Over the past week, Caroline had gotten used to Cameron being around, almost lurking in the shadows. After games, during practices, she was always there with her fingers clenched around her clipboard, her large diamond ring sparkling under the lights.

"Super exciting right?" Cameron said, an odd smile plastered on her face.

"Yes, very." Caroline replied her eyes darting around the room, searching for an escape.

"I know this is all so new to you," Cameron said, her eyes narrowing almost imperceptibly. "It's going to be quite the roller coaster ride, I hope you are prepared."

"I think I am," Caroline said, hoping she sounded a lot surer than she felt.

"I've been through this before…" Cameron said in authoritative tone, taking a sip of wine. "Roger, my fiancée, he was on the Canucks 2011 team, made it all the way to the Stanley Cup finals. Didn't win and he retired that year, but we had just started dating and boy was it an eye opener. I barely saw him for six weeks. And the intensity, it was like he became a different person. They get into this mode you know. Everything is different in the playoffs. I just hope you are prepared. It can be really hard on a relationship, just ask any of the ladies, they will tell you. Roger and I almost didn't make it." Cameron's gaze was fixed on Caroline, as if she dared Caroline to think she was any different.

"But you did," Caroline said brightly, refusing to let Cameron faze her. "When is the wedding?"

Cameron smiled tightly, "Next summer."

Caroline returned the smile and started to make her exit.

"Oh by the way," Cameron said lightly, "The interview with you and Sid on Wednesday…" Caroline knew about it and had been dreading it ever since Sidney had informed her of it the other day, "It's been changed to 8 o'clock; sorry I have a thing."

"Ok, no problem, listen I have to ru—" Caroline sentence was interrupted by the sound of a chant behind her. Politely excusing herself, she turned and walked towards the great room where a crowd was forming. Coming up behind Veronique and a couple of other wives, she saw that the team had formed around Sid, as he stood in front of the fireplace. "Speech, speech, speech," the crowd cheered. Sid looked like he was in his element. His cheeks pink, a wide smile stretched across his face as he held a bottle of water. Caroline watched as he quieted the guys down with a hand and began to speak. Michelle Cooke shoved a glass of wine in her hand and Caroline took a small sip as every held their drinks in a toast.

"Ok, ok, ok, I guess I can say a few words," he scanned the crowd and his eyes stop for a brief second on Caroline before he continued. "First off, I just want to say that this team is incredible. I owe so much to you guys this year. This has for sure been one of the toughest years of my career and my life, but you boys were with me for the highs and the lows. Now I know things started off a little rocky and there were a few bumps along the way, but never did you give up on me. This team is strong, this team is fierce. From top to bottom. Our depth, our desire, our drive…it's unparalleled. Now is the time to take it to the next level. To push ourselves, to focus on one goal and one goal only. I know we can do it. This year changed my life." Sid paused, his gaze locked on Caroline. And she felt the heat flow through her like an electric current. "I learned a lot. I met the love of my life," Caroline's face was flaming now, but she couldn't look away. She felt everyone's eyes on her but she didn't care. Her heart was full. Sid continued, "And I learned about what is really important and that no matter what, you fight for what you love and what you believe in." His voice caught on those last words, his eyes were bright and he was suddenly silent. Caroline felt every ounce of breath rush out of her. Her eyes instantly filled at this rare show of emotion and she fought desperately to keep the tears at bay. The crowd was still, you could hear a pin drop. "You fight for what you believe in," Sid said finally after a few seconds that ticked by excruciatingly slow. Staring directly at Caroline he continued, "I believe in us," and for an instant it was just the two of them in that room and Caroline's heart felt as if it would burst. He quirked the corner of his mouth up in a small smile, then looked around the room, "I believe in this team and I believe that we can bring the Stanley Cup back to Pittsburgh and back to this organization. Now is the time, we are ready…let's do it!" And with that the crowd erupted into cheers and Caroline quickly swiped at her cheeks. Overcome by his words and the very public moment. She felt Veronique's hand close over hers, her eyes misty, "Is it pregnancy hormones or was that the most touching thing I ever heard?" Caroline' rubbed at her own wet cheeks, "It was pretty incredible," she agreed as she watched Sid become surrounded by his teammates. No matter how hard she tried though, Cameron's words echoed in her head. But that was a concern for another day, she had meant what she said earlier, tonight was about nothing more than celebrating, the reward for the sacrifice.

Tomorrow she would worry.

_***Author's note: Trying to get better with the updates and so excited to see Sid skating again! Thanks for the reviews, they mean so much!***_


	9. Chapter 9: And so it begins

It was still dark when Caroline felt Sid crawl out of bed and began to rummage through his dresser drawers for clothes to change into. She watched as he pulled a black t-shirt over his head and down his bare back. Burrowing in the softness of the bed, she wanted nothing more than to fall back asleep, but at the same time she wanted to say goodbye to his family.

"Hey" she said groggily, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes, her body unhappy with the decision she had made.

Sidney turned to look at her. "Hey," he said back. "Go back to sleep, I'll be home in an hour or so." He leaned over her and pressed his lips to her forehead.

"No," she said softly, "I want to say goodbye to your family," and before he could argue, Caroline was pulling back the covers and climbing out of bed. She was clad in only a t-shirt and despite the early hour, he watched appreciatively as she trudged towards the bathroom, bare from the waist down. She emerged a few minutes later and pulled on a pair of yoga pants and began searching through her overnight bag for a sweater or sweatshirt to cover up. She felt self-conscious enough with Sid's parents knowing she spent the night, she didn't need to add it by showing up half naked in his t-shirt.

"I think you might be showing off some wrist there," Sid said jovially she modestly adjusted the sweatshirt she had packed for the cool evenings out on Sid's patio. Caroline just made a face and trailed after him as he strode out of the bedroom.

Her face flushed as she recalled the night before when they had returned from the celebration. Neither had really talked about Sid's speech on the drive back to Sewickley. Caroline rambled on about the WAGs while Sid listened quietly. They had been quite stealthy getting into the house and up to Sidney's bedroom, once they had made it safely, Sid had pulled her into his arms and set to work continuing the events in the Range Rover. Caroline had immediately arched into him, baring her neck for his kisses. As he set to work with his mouth on her skin and his hand on her breast, Caroline felt herself quickly turning into putty, but still aware that his family were sleeping not far away.

"Sid," Caroline whispered into the dark, as his fingers quickly unzipped the back of her dress and brushed it off her shoulders and onto the floor. He stepped back and let out a low whistle at the skimpy lace bra and panty set that she had been talked into on a recent trip to the mall with Sara. Caroline felt the flush burn her skin and the way he looked at her made her heart race. "Sid," she repeated and he looked up and into her gaze. "I was thinking," she whispered tentatively. She cleared her throat as he began to unbutton his shirt. "If you wanted to...um." She didn't know how to put this. "If you wanted to...maybe be a little more adventurous. Tonight. I would want to do that. I mean, for you. Because it's your special night. We can...if you want." She sounded more unsure than she wanted to. She really wasn't scared or nervous…she just didn't know how to ask for things and not be embarrassed. She did want to "spice things up" and she trusted him to stay in her comfort zone. He stared at her, surprised by her suggestion. Then he smiled a predatory smile and his hands stopped.

"Undress me," he whispered and Caroline smiled, her fingers at the buttons in no time. His hands stilled hers, "slowly," he instructed, his voice hoarse. Caroline nodded and bit her lip as her fingers were delicate on the buttons moving them deliberately through the holes and exposing more and more skin as her journey moved forward. She watched as his broad, muscular chest heaved with anticipation and when she finally reached the final button she felt like she could breathe again. Caroline slipped the fabric off his shoulders and pressed her lips to the skin over his heartbeat. She trailed her lips all over his chest, feeling the muscle flex under her lips and the unevenness of his breathing begin again. Caroline worked at his belt and then his pants. He didn't move an inch as she slid the garment down his legs and he helped her out by stepping out of the pool of fabric. Finally she was left with only his black boxer briefs that held the impressive bulge that was growing by the second. Kneeling down before him, she could have sworn she heard him swallow. Hooking her fingers underneath the band she pulled down the cotton fabric and watched as his penis bobbed in the dark, ready for her.

Caroline looked up and saw his staring down at her, his face frozen in a look of desire and pain. In the darkness she could see the sheen of sweat coating his face and his hair was damp around his temple.

"Take me in your mouth," he said his voice barely a whisper. She grinned up at him, her hands clutching the back of his thighs and did just as he asked.

Sid swallowed back the cry of release and could barely keep his eyes open to watch her consume all of him. It was so erotic watching her that he felt his cock immediately begin to harden at the sight. But if this night was truly for him, there were a few things he wanted to do. He hauled Caroline up and into his arms. She smiled brilliantly at him and before she could speak, his mouth was on hers. He took complete charge and without breaking the kiss, lifted her and carried her to the bed. Sidney deposited Caroline onto the bed as she lay there, her big brown eyes staring up at him, so trusting, so full of love and desire.

"On your stomach," he instructed and she didn't miss a beat. Shifting herself, Caroline rolled over onto her belly and waited. It seemed like forever until she felt him straddle the back of her knees and his fingers move up and down her spine. For such an innocent touch, she felt herself drown in arousal. His fingers came to the back of her bra and unhooked it easily. Gently he pulled the lace from her body and held the delicate material in his hand. Slowly he guided her arms from the crisscrossed position in front of her, to the wood slates of his head board. He hovered above her, his mouth on her neck as his fingers ghosted over hers and guided her fingers to grasp the iron bars. Then he deftly wrapped the material around her wrists, securing her to the bed.

Caroline stiffened as felt a flurry of butterflies and anticipation dance in her belly.

This was new.

"Care…" his unspoken question hung in the air between them as his hands stilled and his fingers gently stroked the top of her hand.

"I'm ok," she replied turning and giving him a reassuring smile.

He returned the smile and continued when he felt her relax.

Once he was satisfied that Caroline was secure, Sid ran his hands down her arms, relishing in the soft skin. His hands cupped her bare breasts, his thumbs teasing her nipples. All the sensations seems amplified with her hands secured. He lay behind her, one hand caressing her breasts, as his mouth pressed hot kisses to her shoulders and down her back. She could feel his erection on the back of her thighs as he slowly rubbed himself over her. She never thought she would, but she kind of liked him being in control, not being able to touch him as his hands ran over her body. To be quite honest, she could have wiggled her wrists just a little and the fabric would have fallen away easily, but she liked the idea that she couldn't get free. It was a little kinky but with him it was ok…it was more than ok.

"It feels so good," she spoke into the quiet, her arms extended. She could feel him smile into her skin. Then she felt him move and place his hands high on her thigh then on her ass. He massaged the flesh and his mouth all of a sudden was at her ear.

"It's about to get a lot better." he whispered hotly. In an instant his hands pulled down the lace underwear, lifted her hips and his mouth was all over her moisten flesh. Caroline nearly swooned. His arm curled around her and brought her up and closer to his mouth careful not to put strain on her arms. His fingers gripped her waist as his tongue and lips devoured her. Caroline gripped the head board and dropped her head, biting into her pillow, trying to quiet the sounds of immense pleasure that he was drawing out of her at this moment. She knew she should feel more self-conscious, him behind her, seeing all of her in the most exposed way possible...but she just couldn't. He didn't seem to mind, in fact he seemed pretty into it, so she just let go. The angle brought out a catalog of new sensations and the frenzied pace at which his mouth moved had her unable to keep a single thought in her head. Suddenly she felt the familiar feelings overtake her as the orgasm hit her. Caroline felt his mouth leave her and pull her to her knees into him. Sid knelt behind her, pounding into her steadily as he held her by the hips, her body still riding the wave clenched around him. She couldn't think, only feel, as he slid in and out of her. It seemed like forever as orgasm upon orgasm washed over her. Finally she felt his movements become erratic and soon the familiar rush of heat poured up and into her. His hands worked quickly at her hands, freeing her and Caroline could no longer hold herself up, her knees gave way and she collapsed onto the bed with Sid right behind her. He pulled her instantly to him and wrapped his arms around her.

"You ok?" he asked his eyes on hers, his cheeks flushed

Caroline nodded, her arms a little sore but otherwise feeling pretty great, "That," she said, her breath labored, "was amazing."

Sid buried his face into her hair as he drew her into him. "Yeah," he laughed, "it was."

The Crosby's were in the kitchen, fussing around checking and double checking boarding passes and luggage when Sidney and Caroline came down the stairs. There was lots of hugs and goodbyes. Troy and Trina would be back in a few days, but Taylor, wouldn't return until after the school year, provided the Penguins made it to the finals.

"So I'll see you soon," Caroline said, giving Taylor a final hug, the affection she held for the teen grown from their week together.

After holding Sid tight to her for a long minute, Trina released him and stretched out her arms to Caroline. "Bye sweetie," Trina trilled drawing the young woman into her arms, "we love you."

Caroline was startled and felt the emotion bubble up, "Love you too," she said quietly, her eyes darting over to Sid's, who seemed equally surprised by Trina's declaration. Before she could think too much about it, Troy pulled her in for an awkward half hug, "Take care of our boy," he said gruffly and Caroline smiled wide.

"I will," she promised.

After triple checking that they had everything, the Crosby's were out the door. Sid leaned in and gave Caroline a quick peck on the lips. "I'll be back soon, go back to bed."

Caroline nodded but already had a different plan up her sleeve.

An hour later she was elbow deep in hollandaise sauce, as she whisked away at the decadent sauce. She flipped the Canadian bacon and checked to make sure the water for the eggs was at a rolling boil. She had the whole thing planned. No practice today, the team would start the playoffs on Tuesday and she went back to school tomorrow. Today would be their last day before the insanity began. The special brunch of eggs benedict and fresh fruit was almost ready and Caroline realized that he should be home any minute. Putting the finishing touches on the plates she sat down, eagerly awaiting his arrival.

Thirty minutes passed. Where was he? She checked her phone...nothing. She wondered if she should call him. Maybe something had happened at the airport and there was a delay. She didn't want to be a stalker girlfriend so she waited.

Another half hour went by, the eggs were beyond cold and the hollandaise a gloppy mess. Caroline didn't care how she seemed, he should have been back by now. She grabbed her phone and dialed his number. He answered on the third ring.

"Hey," he said easily.

"Are you ok?" she asked frantic.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine."

"Where are you? You've been gone for hours." Now that she knew he was okay, she was mad.

"Oh, sorry. I'm just over at Mario's. He called to go over some stuff, so I thought I'd stop by. I lost track of time. I figured you were asleep, it's only...9."

Caroline didn't know how to react. "I made breakfast," she said lamely.

"Oh shit. Care, I'm sorry. I figured you went back to bed. I didn't know. I'm just finishing up here, I'll be home in 20 minutes."

She could tell he felt badly and she couldn't fault him for thinking she was asleep. It was early. She'd just gotten carried away with the idea of spending as much of the day together as possible.

"No," she said softly. "No, you do what you need to. It's okay. I'll see you in a little while."

"Are you sure?" he asked tentatively.

The feeling of disappointment lay heavy in her stomach. "Yeah, totally," she said with fake enthusiasm.

"You're awesome. Love you."

And before she could echo the sentiment he had ended the call.

She took a shower. She made his bed. Threw away the uneaten breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen. She checked her email and watched some television. She called her mom, balanced her checkbook.

She checked the time, 1:25. She had thought maybe they could have lunch. But that looked like a lost cause too. All of a sudden, she heard the front door open.

Caroline busied herself at the kitchen table, pretending to look very interested in something on her iPad.

"Hey," he said casually, striding into the room.

Putting on a wide smile, she greeted him. 'Hey yourself," she said lifting her lips for his when he came over and ducked his head to her. As his lips brushed across hers, she decided to forget about the morning and start new.

"Can I make you lunch?" she asked looking up into his friendly face.

An apologetic look crossed his face, "I already ate. Nathalie made chicken salad."

Caroline ignored her stomach, its rumbling scolded her for waiting for him.

"Oh, that's good," she said dumbly.

"Sorry, she insisted."

Caroline persevered. "No problem. Do you want to go for a walk, a hike or something?" she asked, the feeling of cabin fever rushing through her veins.

The look of apology came back.

"I can't, I'm just here for a few minutes. Dan called a last minute practice. They want us to go over tape. I wanted to check in with you then grab my stuff. Heading back to the condo tonight."

Caroline's fairy tale had just expired. The day she had looked forward was not to be. She was afraid that if they left this house that all the problems would come back again. The escape, the playing house. For now it was over.

"Oh, ok."

"Care, c'mon..."

She felt irritated, but wouldn't let it show. She had to prove herself.

"No, its fine, I mean, this is it. This is playoff season. I'm ok, I promise. I need to get home and get ready for the week anyway. I have a ton to do." She could see the doubt in his eyes but refused to falter. "I'll just grab my stuff and see you...Tuesday?"

He looked surprised. "Is that ok? I'm sorry, we just have so much to get ready. You can come over, after the game. Stay at my place."

Caroline had to swallow back the misery. She had hoped he would insist on seeing her tonight. And tomorrow. And every day that he was in town. She wanted to change her mind. Tell him to come over tonight. See him tomorrow. Wish him luck before the big game.

But right now was her time to take a step back. Let him do his thing.

"Sounds great," she said shakily. He gave a weak smile and pressed his lips to her nose.

"You're the best."

And then he was gone.

* * *

"No Camile, I said minus 23 not plus." Caroline sighed heavily and pinched the space between her eyes.

The girl stood at the board and stared wide eyed at her teacher. Miss Reid was always so nice, but this week she had yelled a lot at the class, losing her temper constantly. The small girl with braided pigtails looked down at her shoes, her bottom lip began to tremble and Caroline felt awful.

It was Wednesday and so far it had been a tough week. Caroline knew she was being short tempered with her students. She thought she was prepared for what the playoffs would bring, but she was only one game in and already on edge.

By game time on Tuesday she had only talked to Sid twice, once on Sunday just before she went to bed, then again on Tuesday to wish him good luck. Although she wondered if the second time really counted as she had gotten his voice mail and left him a message.

She had met up with the rest of the WAGs Tuesday evening at the Consol. She was wearing her Crosby jersey and had an overnight bag packed for his place that evening. It was the first time in forever that she had gone two days without seeing him when he was only a few miles away. The energy in the CONSOL was electric, no pun intended, the noise deafening and crowd was a sea of black, yellow and blues. As she took her seat, Caroline could feel the crowd's anticipation. The first round was against the New York Islanders. They were a physical team, but they were the eighth seed and the Penguins had beat them easily throughout the season. From the moment the puck dropped, you could tell the Islanders were playing like they had nothing to lose. They out skated and out played the Penguins in the first 20 minutes of hockey, leaving the score at intermission 2-0, Islanders. The crowd was getting antsy and the players were playing dirty. Caroline had seen her fair share of fights during the season, but this was different. These scrums were dirty, underhanded and intense. Sid had been pushed around way more than she was comfortable with. It was hard to watch and she felt an overwhelming pride when he pushed back.

It was eight minutes into the 2nd period when it happened. Sid had the puck and was on a breakaway heading straight for the Islanders goalie. Pascal Dupuis was to his right, wide open. Just as Sid pushed the puck to his teammate he was met with the shoulder of a huge Islander defenseman...a goon Sid had once explained to her. It took only a second, but it felt much longer. The goon's shoulder connected with Sid's and Sid went down hard. In that long second the crowd went completely silent, as Sidney lay motionless on the ice. Caroline froze. Teammates stood over Sid, as he crawled onto all fours and just stayed there for a moment. Looking frantically at Veronique she didn't know what to say or what to do. All color drained from her face and she felt like she was going to throw up. _ Please be ok, please be ok, please be ok._ She chanted in her head. The trainers rushed the ice and with assistance Sid was up and being led off the ice. The crowd applauded in respect for their captain, but all Caroline could hear was a whooshing in her head.

Then she took off.

She faintly heard Veronique in the background saying something, but she couldn't hear her. All she could hear was the sound of a tornado running through her head. She ran up the steps and through the tunnel out to the main drag of the arena. There were a few people milling about, but otherwise it was pretty quiet as everyone was in their seats watching the close contest. Caroline ran down the concourse and to the stairs. _Please be ok, please be ok, please be ok. _She made turn after turn until she was standing at the door that said personal only. She fished around in her back pockets looking for her tag that would grant her access, but she realized she had left it in her purse, at her seat.

The attendant at the door was someone she had never seen before and she wondered how she would explain this.

"I need to get in there," she said her breathing labored from her run.

"Do you have a pass?" the attendant asked in a bored tone.

"Um, I do but not with me."

The attendant didn't look surprised.

"Can't let you in without a pass," he said looking at her like she belonged on the bottom of his shoe.

Caroline could feel the tears coming. She needed to know he was okay. She had to get in there.

"Please, it's an emergency," she begged.

The attendant remained unfazed. "No pass, no entry."

Then she uttered the words she swore she would never say, no matter what.

"Do you know who I am?" and even though she tried not to, she knew she sounded haughty. But she didn't care. All she knew is that she had to get past this door.

The attendant didn't miss a beat, "Should I?" he asked with a mix of amusement and irritation.

"Caroline!"

She heard a voice behind her and turned to see Cameron Spencer walking towards her. She wore a form fitting black jersey with jeans that looked painted on. Her blond hair bounced as she walked towards Caroline. Despite everything, Caroline had never been so grateful to see the blonde.

"I have to get in there," she said and to her great embarrassment she began to cry.

"Oh, erm," Caroline heard the attendant clear his throat. "Oh Miss Reid, I'm sorry. I didn't recognize you."

Caroline turned back to the man in the black polo shirt and gave a watery smile. "I need to get in there," she said repeated weakly.

Cameron flashed her credentials and with a buzz the two women were ushered into the long corridor leading to the hidden part of the CONSOL that few fans ever got to see.

"They won't let you in the trainer's room," Cameron said hesitantly, unsure what to do with this crying mess of a person.

"I have to see if he's ok," Caroline choked out.

"He's going to be fine. He left the ice on his own. Finley only got his shoulder." Cameron said stiffly. Consoling others didn't seem to be her thing.

"Can you go check? They will let you in. Please just make sure he's alright."

Cameron nodded stiffly, then awkwardly put her hand on Caroline's arm. "I'll will be back soon." Caroline fell into a nearby chair and sat there for 45 minutes until Cameron returned.

In the end, he was alright. Deep muscle bruise they called it. He didn't return to the game, but the trainers seemed to think in a few days he would be cleared to play. The Penguins never recovered from the loss of their captain and they fell to the Islanders 4-1.

They had numbed him up by the time she got to see him. He looked tense and his face was serious as the trainer explained his regime for the next few days. It could have been a lot worse they said, but he would be able to play Thursday. She lingered in the doorway, feeling out of place. When he caught sight of her, he gestured for her to come in. She stood awkwardly, afraid to touch him.

"It's ok," he said. "Right now, I can't feel a thing," and he gave her a small smile.

That night he had to stay late getting some rehab on the shoulder. Caroline went to his place, hoping to see him before sleep drew her in. She heard him enter around midnight and jumped up from the couch where she had been waiting.

He looked tired and upset.

"Hey," he said looking up at her.

"Hi, how are you? Are you in pain? What can I do? Can I get you something? Anything?"

He put a hand up to stop her. "I'm exhausted." he said shortly.

"Ok," Caroline said quickly. "Let's get you to bed."

She helped him to the bed and drew back the covers. Carefully she helped him out of his pants and with great care peeled his t-shirt off.

"We lost," he said dejectedly and winced as Caroline delicately pulled his arm out of his shirt.

"I know. I'm sorry, you will win on Thursday," she said forcing a reassuring smile.

He looked at her skeptical, like he wanted to say something. But instead he closed his mouth and looked away.

They sat in an awkward silence for a few moments.

"Anything you need, you tell me." she said suddenly. "I can get a sub for tomorrow, if you need help..."

"No," he cut her off. "I mean, I'll be ok. Rick is picking me up in the morning for rehab. I should be fine. Just sore for a few days."

She lay there that evening, careful not to touch him for fear that the meds would soon wear off and she might cause him discomfort. He seemed on edge and she couldn't blame him. He couldn't get injured. Not now, not after everything.

She didn't sleep well. The medication put Sid to sleep pretty much instantly, but Caroline was too stressed out to sleep. She lay in bed for hours, reliving the moment he got hit and his still body on the ice. When sleep finally came it was restless and in the morning she left before he woke.

On the other hand, work was going well, despite her cranky attitude with the children, she had found out that Monday morning that the committee voting on the grant approval would be submitting their decision on Friday. Pete had come into her classroom with the Pittsburgh Post and Gazette in hand.

"You keep getting more and more famous," he had joked, holding up the sports section that showed a photo of Sid lifting Caroline into his arms. She had blushed furiously and Pete had been relentless in his teasing. Then he shared the news. There were over 1000 schools that had applied for the grant. During the break they had whittled it down to twenty. Garfield Elementary was among the shortened list. By Friday they would know. This would change everything. Funding, opportunities. This little school in the bad part of town would be known for something great, something positive.

* * *

Between Sid, the lack of sleep and the anticipation for the grant, Caroline was a mess on Wednesday. And sadly her students were getting the brunt of it. She stayed over to catch up on some organizing, then met her coworkers for happy hour. She could use a little loosening up, as she had to be at Sidney's at eight for this "interview" with Sid and Cameron. Caroline had no idea what Cameron was going to ask, but whatever it was, Caroline was sure it would make her uncomfortable. She only had two drinks and listened to Dahlia's long tale of her spring break in Orlando. At a quarter to eight, she said goodbye to her friends and made the drive to Sid's condo. It was then she realized she didn't have her phone. She thought for a minute and then pictured the device on top of the turtle tank, she had set it there after she had taken a few pictures of Sidney for the classroom pet contest the Trib was hosting for area schools. She had gotten distracted by some argument by the sensory table and had left the phone. No matter, she was nearly there. Coming up to his door, she knocked and waited. There was no answer, trying the door handle she found the door unlocked and made her way into the condo. At the end of the hall stood the camera guy from the brunch. He was fiddling with the camera that sat perched on a tripod. A mass of photography equipment was behind him, but no Sid or Cameron. The camera guy didn't notice her arrival until she had made it halfway down the hall. Just as she started to say hello, she noticed Sidney's bedroom door ajar and a light coming from it. Changing course she approached the door and heard a guttural moan that sounded just like Sid.

"Right there, yeah that's it," she heard his voice low and Caroline felt her heart stop.

Pushing the door open she froze at the sight. Sid sat perched on the edge of his bed, shirtless. Cameron knelt behind him, her skirt hiked up high and across her thigh with her hair loose and falling over his bare shoulders. Her fingers were working at the muscles in his shoulders, pushing and pulling at the pale skin and her eyes were closed. Sid's head leaned forward his hands on his jean clad thighs.

"Uh, hi," she said, alerting the pair of her presence. She tried to stay calm. There was an explanation for this. There had to be.

She expected them to look uncomfortable or embarrassed. What she didn't expect was a very aggravated Sidney looking up at her and behind him a smug Cameron.

He jumped from the bed, his head lolling around shaking out the massage and came towards her. "Where have you been?"

Caroline was caught off guard as she watched him come closer, irritation written all over his face.

"What are you talking about and what are you doing? Where," her eyes shifted away, "Is your shirt?"

Sid faltered for a minute. "Cameron used to be licensed masseuse. She was helping me with my shoulder, while we were waiting for you."

Caroline felt sick, but Sidney continued.

"Your over an hour late...I've been calling you." he pressed.

"No I'm not..." Caroline was thoroughly confused. "Eight" she said.

"Seven," he bit out, clearly annoyed by this.

"No, eight." she caught sight of Cameron still perched on the bed, an innocent look on her face.

"Cameron said eight," she said lamely, looking at Sid with a mix of confusion and hurt.

"No, sweetie, seven" Cameron piped up.

Caroline distinctly remembered Cameron changing it to eight. Didn't she? Caroline was so tired she couldn't replay the moment in her mind like she needed.

"It's alright," he sighed. "Let's just get this over with. I need to be in bed early."

Caroline felt awful, first she sees her boyfriend with another woman's hands all over him and now he was upset with her for being late again. He hated how she was late for everything. She knew that. But it hadn't been her fault. Not this time. And how had they ended up in his room? And how did he think this was ok? She had a right to be mad, but right now he seem too irritated to defend himself.

He walked over to the closet and pulled out a black button down shirt. He quickly buttoned his shirt while Caroline just stared there frozen in her spot and Cameron peeled herself off the bed and smoothed out her skirt.

Then it happened so fast, Caroline nearly missed it. Cameron looked right at her and winked.

And Caroline knew, for Cameron, it was game on.

_***Author's note: It's going to be a bumpy ride. I have pretty much given up on the accuracies of playoff games and dates, so you will all just have to suspend disbelief. This chapter is all over the place, but I'm hoping to convey that things are moving quickly and its going to hard for all parties involved to keep up. Cameron's true colors are about to be shown. I struggled with that beginning scene, I wanted it to be hot and risqué but not over the line. I like to think Caroline has a bit of a wild streak in her but she's still...well Caroline. Hope you enjoyed the chapter and please review! I can't believe this season is almost over already!***_


	10. Chapter 10: Bumps and bruises

_***Author's Note: Hoped to have this up yesterday but got sucked into the jaw watch and the Blackhawks game...I forgot how intense the playoffs can be. Disappointed Sid wont be on the ice tonight, but I feel good about this series, Goooo Pens!***_

"I just don't get it," Sid sighed looking at his phone for the umpteenth time in the past 30 minutes. He'd already sent four texts and called her three times. It just rang and rang. Sid loved Caroline but she was terrible about her phone. He lived on his blackberry, constantly connected to teammates, agents, friends, or checking league scores, whatever. Caroline on the other hand would spend hours oblivious to the fact that she didn't have her phone or it was dead. It drove him crazy. He'd meant to text her earlier to confirm time and place but he just hadn't had a chance. Rehab all morning then practice. Media scrums afterwards then cleaned up to head across town for a photo-shoot for The Sporting News in an old abandoned warehouse. There he'd spent hours in full gear holding various poses for periods of time that had his shoulder raging. He'd fought through the pain. He knew in a few days it would be fine and he wasn't about to miss any games. Not this year, not now.

Sid had barely been home an hour when the doorbell rang. In that time he'd taken a shower, dressed in a grey t-shirt and jeans then scarfed down a plate Miss Louisa had left for him in the fridge. Scratching at the back of his neck and ignoring the tightness in his shoulder, he'd answered the door to an official looking Cameron and Norm the camera guy trailing after her.

Cameron immediately barked out orders to Norm, as she smiled winningly at Sid. She was dressed in what seemed to her uniform of a black pencil skirt and pressed white dress shirt, her was hair down and her make up heavy. She lay a hand on Sidney's upper arm and brushed past him, as she clicked down the hall in her black stilettos, waving her arms all around as inspiration hit her.

Now they sat awkwardly in his living room. Well Cameron sat, Sid paced in front of her furiously punching at buttons on his phone and running his hand through his hair in frustration. If he hadn't been so focused on the phone, he would have noticed the looks of lust Cameron was doing a terrible job at hiding. But he was too distracted for that.

"Maybe she forgot," Cameron said innocently, as Norm the camera guy set up. She sat perched on the edge of Sidney's sofa, her trusty clipboard in one hand, her cell in the others.

"No," he said immediately, glancing up from his phone. "She wouldn't forget. She knows what this means..." he trailed off, not wanting to have this kind of conversation with Cameron. This was strictly business. He kept his private life to himself, even to those who were filming intimate details. He would show them what they wanted, but that was it. Truth be told, he didn't want to be doing this tonight either. He knew Caroline was dreading this, he was too, but it was just something they had to do. And they had to be on time. He kicked himself for not confirming. He'd learn from the very beginning that punctuality was paramount. He was a professional and he had to conduct himself accordingly. Not to mention his schedule this week and for however long they were in the playoffs was a very carefully constructed house of cards, one bad move and it would all fall apart. So the fact that she wasn't there yet just frustrated him to no end. He knew things were going to be tense once the playoffs started, he just hadn't realized how much. He'd never really had a girlfriend during playoff season. Sure there had been Lila but she didn't really count, by that time in their relationship they were barely talking. She would just show up at games, hang around after to go to dinner and then fuck his brains out. It had been a great stress reliever, but there really wasn't much more than that. Caroline on the other hand loved to send him emails about news stories she found interesting or recipes she wanted him to try. She would text him a picture of something funny her students did or just random messages letting him know she loved him or was thinking about him. Those little bits throughout the day were everything to him. But this week, he hadn't responded much. It always seemed like her emails got lost in the sea of appointment reminders and requests from sponsors. Every text message would quickly be forgotten when two or three more would come right after from his agent or the coaching staff or a teammate. So here it was one game in, three days into the post season and he was struggling to keep up with her. He wanted to be that perfect boyfriend, be the man that she wanted to marry and spend her life with, but right now... it was more challenging than he expected. That's why, he thought with a groan, she needed to be here now. The sooner this was over, the sooner they could spend what little time he had before he had to go to turn in for the night. And so the worry turned to frustration and the frustration turned to anger as they waited and waited.

Finally Cameron looked over at him apologetically, "Sid," she said, "We can't wait any longer..." She seemed hesitant to tell him but she was on a timetable too.

Sid heaved a heavy sigh and stared at the phone blankly. "Yeah, we can do my part right? At least get something in. I'm really sorry about this..."

Cameron waved a hand dismissively. "Don't apologize, she probably doesn't understand how important punctuality is for us in our professions."

Sidney was too distracted to recognize the roundabout insult and quirked his mouth to the side.

"Well, I'm ready to go," he said decisively looking to Cameron for further instruction.

Cameron smiled, then scrunched up her features. "So you're wearing that?" she said with a tone of disgust.

Sid looked down at his shirt confused.

Recovering quickly, Cameron backtracked, hers eyes softened and she smiled apologetically, "its fine, it's just with the lighting and your wall color I'm afraid it's going to wash you out. Here let's see if we can find anything else." And with that she was up and striding past him on the way to his bedroom, while Norm just tinkered with the camera dumbly.

Sidney followed after her like a puppy. There was something about her that made him feel like he was always a step behind.

She was already in his closet and filing through the clothes when he entered. He had a flash of uncertainty, letting her be in here, going through his closet. It was too familiar. Suddenly she pulled a navy shirt from the hanger and turned to him triumphant.

"This will be perfect," she said all smiles. She was very pretty, Sid couldn't dispute that. She at one time would have been his type. Tall, blond, killer body and confidence oozing from every pore. But things were different now and when he looked at her he saw the clumps of mascara hanging off her eyelids and how uncomfortable her feet looked in those shoes. Under the tan, boob job and teeth that seemed to glow in the dark was the dime a dozen women he'd spent nearly his entire professional career with and they had left him empty and wanting. She wasn't his type any longer, when he looked at her, he felt nothing.

Reaching for the shirt he winced. The distraction of an absent Caroline had kept him from thinking too much of his shoulder, but the tightness was becoming unbearable.

"How's the injury?" Cameron asked, her eyes wide and concerned.

"Its ok." he said shortly, trying to push out the pain. He didn't want to take any pain medication. It left him foggy and unfocused. Right now he needed to be sharp, but the only sharpness he could think of was this nagging pain in his shoulder.

"You don't look ok," she said her face washed in concern.

"Yeah, I don't know, this shoulder is just a little stiff." He explained to her the photo shoot that had done nothing but aggravate the injury. But he hadn't wanted to say no, so he just dealt with it.

"Well," Cameron said innocently, "Back in Vancouver I was a licensed masseuse. I did it to pay for college, flexible hours you know, I'd be happy to lend my services."

Sid didn't know what to say, on one hand the idea of a massage right now sounded great, but at the same time was it appropriate? He was nothing but professional with the Pens staff and always kept a safe distance. But the pain wouldn't quit and it was looking like Caroline had stood him up, so he figured why not.

Voicing his agreement, Cameron motioned him to sit on the edge of the bed and crawled up behind him, "Five minutes and you will feel like a whole new person. I have magic fingers." she practically purred that last part and Sid had a flash of doubt, but then her fingers were digging into his shoulder and it hurt so bad but in the best way. The giant knot of muscle immediately loosened and within seconds he felt complete relief.

She kneaded at his shoulder as the t-shirt bunched beneath her fingers. Sid felt himself transported to another world. It felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from him and he fell forward, his eyes drifting shut. He didn't think, just concentrated on the relief. Suddenly her fingers stopped and Sid immediately felt like a junkie in need of a fix.

"Why did you stop?" he asked.

"Well," Cameron heaved a sigh. "I just can't get a good grip, why don't you take off your t-shirt? That will make a huge difference."

Desperate for the relief to resume, Sid reached back and pulled the t-shirt over his head and let it drop to the floor. Her fingers were back on his skin and Sidney nearly swooned.

Dropping his elbows to his thighs, his head fell forward and his eyes shut. For a few minutes he just drifted off to another place. He could hear Cameron speaking in the distance, but at that moment everything ceased to exist, every worry in the world disappeared.

Then he heard it. A new voice. Her voice.

Looking up he saw Caroline and he felt...annoyed.

She wasn't hurt, she hadn't forgotten, she was late. And she was looking at him like he was a stranger. The feelings bubbled and the words were out before he could pull them back. And just like that he took all that stress that had flowed out of him compliments of Cameron's fingers and hurled it right at Caroline.

He couldn't think clearly, he knew he was being a dick, but Jesus was her excuse really a mix up on time? This kind of thing was unacceptable, there was no room for this kind of thing during a playoffs.

Cameron must have sensed the heavy air, because she abruptly made her exit, setting off to prepare the first shot. Sid sighed, they just needed to get this over with.

Grabbing a new shirt from the closet he turned to her and the words died in his mouth. Caroline was standing there with a look of shock on her face.

Then she shut down.

Caroline felt hot. Like she had too many layers on or her clothes were too tight. She was suffocating. Her greatest fear had just come true. Cameron was exactly what Caroline had feared most. The blonde had one agenda and he was standing in front of her.

Her mind was racing. Panic, anger, confusion, betrayal all flowed through her like a raging river, moving too fast for any single emotion to take hold. Then as the waters calmed she was left with one feeling. Disappointment. Complete and utter disappointment.

She heard him talking to her. Words like punctuality, professionalism, responsibility echoed in the room. She couldn't put the words into sentences. She felt like a little kid who's just had someone call them a name or push them down for the first time. That moment when innocence is shattered. The moment when you realize that people can suck. Only in Caroline's case it's when the person you love most lets you down in the most heartbreaking way possible. It wasn't that he and Cameron were in Sid's bedroom, it wasn't that his shirt was off or that her hands were all over him. It was that he didn't believe her.

The longer she didn't speak the more he rambled, until she finally found her voice. It was hollow and hoarse but there nevertheless.

"She gave me the wrong time. She did it on purpose." she interrupted her gaze meeting his.

Sid stopped what he was doing and sighed, "Caroline..."

"I know you don't believe me. She wants you. She has a plan." Caroline said in a monotone voice. She felt nauseous.

"You don't..."

"Don't say I don't know what I'm talking about. I can te-"

"Caroline, can we just drop it?" Sid interrupted his voice harsh, "It's been a long day. Can we just do this and be done with it? I don't have time to argue with you," he said exasperated and more loudly than intended.

If looks could kill, Sidney Crosby would never see a second Stanley Cup. Caroline turned on her heel and was out the door and into the living room.

Sidney trailed after her uncertain about what was going to happen.

What he saw threw him for a loop.

Caroline was all smiles as she approached Cameron. Apologizing profusely for the mix-up and what could she do to make it up to Cameron?

He just stared dumbly at the scene. Cameron made some joke and Caroline let out a laugh that Sid definitely determined was fake.

Then Caroline smiled at him and put out her hand, beckoning him to her. The smile was just as fake as the laugh. Her eyes were flat and the forced smile made him sick to his stomach.

For the next hour he felt like he was in a trance. They went through the motions and Caroline played the part like a seasoned actress. She answered all Cameron's questions like she didn't have a care in the world, she smiled tightly when Cameron mentioned that Caroline was older than Sid, or spoke about Caroline's bravery at teaching at an inner city school or commented how "refreshing" it was to see Sid with just a regular girl. She joked and repeatedly squeezed Sid's arm or poked at him in affection. They filmed the couple preparing a fake dinner, took footage of Sid and Caroline looking through a family album, and even got a cheesy shot of them looking out the window with his arms around her. It wasn't till the very end did her perfectly constructed facade break for a moment. They were sitting on the couch, Caroline sat close to Sidney, while he had an arm slung around the back of the couch. Her legs were crossed and his hand lay on her knee. Cameron was asking a few fluff questions, silly stuff. Then she got serious and leaned forward as if this was some hard hitting interview and not publicity garbage.

"Caroline," Cameron said in her best Katie Couric impression, "Tell us what is it about the Steel City's captain that captured your heart? What do you get to see that no one else does?"

Sid's eyes flew to Caroline and he watched her mask break for just a second, as she looked at him and the only word he could use to describe her eyes was devastating. Then in a flash it was gone and the mask was back. A mask that he'd worn for so long. A mask that he had somehow passed along to her.

"Well Cameron, what I love so much about Sid is how he treats people. Like everyone is important, no matter whether he's meeting the President or giving the homeless guy on the corner fifty bucks. Everyone has meaning. There was a moment a few weeks after we started dating-"

"After meeting online right?" Cameron had a glint in her eye.

Caroline didn't miss a beat, "Right. Sid," Caroline paused clearly emotional about the words she was about to say, she stared at Cameron, unable to look at him.

"Sid, he told me how there is a part of him that he has to keep private. That he has to save a part of himself for the people he cares most about. He knows what he is to this city, to the game. He knows his responsibility, but what he knows more than that is what he needs to do not to hurt the people he holds close. He's spent his life making sure no one ever feels worthless, whether you are a fan, a stranger on the street or the person he loves the most. That and he's amazing in bed."

"Caroline!"

But she ignored him and winked at Cameron and for a split second the PR beauty looked shaken.

"Ok, well we will probably have to cut that last part out," Cameron laughed shakily. "But fantastic, thank you. I think we are done..." Cameron said looking at her notes. Norm clicked off the camera.

In an instant Caroline plucked the microphone off her dress and stood. She looked at Sid for a second, then spoke, her voice low and hard.

"Is that what you wanted?"

She didn't wait for an answer. She brushed past him, grabbed her purse on a near side table and was out the door.

She made it to the elevator before she broke down and let the violent sobs wash over her.

* * *

Sid didn't know what to think. All he knew is that he was ready for these people to be out of his house and just go to bed. He felt awful about what had happened with Caroline. Watching her going through the motions, like he had done so many times made him ill. If Cameron would have asked him what he loved most about Caroline it would be without a doubt the way she was so...real. She didn't try to be someone she wasn't. He didn't think she knew how...until tonight.

"Well that was interesting," Cameron's voice broke his thoughts. She had a strange look on her face...satisfaction maybe?

Sid furrowed his brow, "Can I talk to you privately for a second?" his eyes flickered up to Norm who was only a few feet away packing up equipment.

Cameron glanced over to the cameraman, "Norm, go ahead down, I'll get the rest." Norm nodded and ambled his way down Sid's hallway.

"What's up?" she asked brightly, her 10,000 watt smile plastered all over her face. "I think things went pretty well considering."

"Did you give Caroline the wrong time for tonight?"

Cameron blanched.

"What? No of course no-" she stammered.

"Cameron," Sid said, his face blank. "I love Caroline. That's not going to change." He straightened his shoulders, "I appreciate all you are doing, you have been awesome for the Pens, but I need to make sure you know this relationship is strictly professional."

Cameron's face darkened. "I'm engaged," she bit out, holding up her hand. "This is just business Sid, I'm sorry if there has been any reason to think otherwise."

And with that she gathered her things and walked out.

* * *

"Man you look like shit."

Sid collapsed into his locker stall, his face pouring with sweat from the morning skate. Cookie was never one to hold back, so Sid was not surprised by his teammate's comment. Not to mention he was right. Sid did look like shit, he felt like shit. He'd had a restless sleep the night before, tossing and turning, despite being exhausted. He always slept better when Caroline was in bed with him. He'd finally fallen asleep early this morning, only to be up a few hours later for morning skate before tonight's big game. He'd met with the doctors before taking the ice and they had cleared him to play. The pain had downgraded to a nagging ache but there was really not much they could do about it, and he could play through it. Down a game in a series they were expected to sweep, he didn't have the luxury of sitting this one out.

Sid glanced over at Cookie, "I was up all night."

Matt waggled his eyebrows clearly misunderstanding Sid's meaning.

"Ha, no not that. I don't know…" and before he could stop himself he was unloading all over Cookie. The whole story, everything from Caroline being late, to Cameron's massage, to Caroline walking out. When he was done, he felt exorcised. Wiping his dripping face with a towel he looked over at his teammate.

"You fucked up," Cookie said with his traditional toothless grin.

Sid leaned back into his stall, "Yeah," he admitted.

"So fix it," Cookie said matter of fact.

"But…" Sid started, a dozen different things running through his mind.

"But what? You fucked up. Make things better, end of story. It's not that hard."

Sid soaked in Cookie's words. Was it really that simple? Feeling the way he felt right now, he found it hard to think that this "hill to die on" was worth it. A series of communication mix ups and misunderstandings, all on his part were to blame. He had to take responsibility for that. And with that the onslaught of media surrounded Sid focusing his attention back on tonight's matchup.

* * *

It was around lunch time when the flowers arrived. Caroline was eating her lunch at her desk, enjoying the quiet while her students were outside enjoying the warm weather. She was grateful that it wasn't her week for playground duty, as she hadn't slept well. In all honesty, she hadn't slept well in days. She was starting to doubt if she was cut out of this. A part of her had hoped he would have chased after her last night or showed up on her doorstep. But nothing. When she had gotten to school that morning, she found her phone and charged it up. He hadn't sent her anything today, but the messages from last night were there. Her heart panged a bit reading the texts and listening to the voicemails he had left when looking for her. They had started off sweet and concerned, but by the last message they were terse and filled with frustration. She loved Sidney more than anything, but it seemed for every three steps forward they were quickly thrust ten steps back. She just wished he could stop for a minute and see how he was when things got intense. It wasn't fair to her. She was fine taking a back seat to his career, but to think she purposely showed up late last night or to think it was okay to find himself half naked in his bedroom with a woman who had now made it pretty clear that she was every inch the barracuda Caroline feared she was, was ridiculous and he knew better. He knew better than to think she would dismiss an important appointment or would be okay with another woman's hands all over him. No, he needed to know that despite how hard it was to juggle personal and professional life, he was going to have to figure it out. She was willing to make concessions. But she had her limits.

The feeling that nagged most was what to do about Cameron. If Sid was going to be blind to the blonde's plan of attack, then she was going to have to fight. He just needed to make himself worth fighting for.

It was the knock at the door that broke Caroline from the thoughts that consumed her. She had only received flowers a few times from Sid over the tenure of their relationship, but even when she was mad at him, she couldn't help the thrill that rushed through her accepting the massive bouquet of all her favorite flowers in her favorite colors. Thanking the office aide, she set the flowers on her desk and studied them critically. Thrill or no thrill, there was a tiny part of her that wanted to just toss them into the garbage, but she wouldn't…couldn't.

Caroline plucked the card from the rainbow jungle of lilies, daisies and orchids and slowly opened it.

_I believe you. I'm sorry and I love you. – S_

Caroline couldn't keep the corners of mouth from turning up. This didn't just fix everything…but she had to admit, it was a start.

* * *

From the moment he got on the ice everything seemed to click. He barely felt the shoulder pain as the adrenaline seemingly carried him from end to end of the ice. His focus was unparalleled, his passing was quick and precise and his shots were lethal. By the end of the second period he had 2 goals and 2 assists in a routing of the Islanders 7-3. But something still felt not quite right. Caroline had sent him a text thanking him for the flowers and that if he wanted to talk, she was willing to do so. He'd asked her to please still come the game and that they would talk after. The team was due to leave for New York after practice Friday morning but tonight would be all about them. No distractions he promised. She had agreed and that's how they'd left it. Sid hadn't spotted her during pregame warm ups but maybe she was running late and he was okay with that, those things would have to not matter anymore. Coming off the ice for the final intermission he made his way to the locker room when he was met with concerned Ray Shero. The GM was a regular during the breaks, hanging back taking it all in, but this time he immediately approached the captain.

"Sid," he said, his voice low. "There's a problem."

* * *

Caroline was just packing up for the day when Principal Lamar Dixon rapped at her door. He had a piece of paper in hand and was wearing a wide smile. The selection committee had just emailed to let him know that Garfield Elementary School had been selected as an International School for the 2013-2014 school year. They had received the grant that with all the bells and whistles would total over $250,000 and it was all theirs. Caroline could hardly contain herself. She launched herself into the arms of the large man and hugged him with all her might. He laughed heartily and thanked her for all the work she had done heading the committee. This was going to change everything for the downtrodden school.

"We couldn't have done it without you, Caroline. Good job." Mr. Dixon said smiling.

Caroline just grinned from ear to ear, "Thank you sir." She felt all of her worries disappear. For just a little bit she was going to concentrate on her own success.

He handed her the email and the link to the resource page for the program. There would a lot to do to get ready he warned her. We are going to have to call in staff early this summer to make sure they were ready for the school year. Caroline ignored the uncertainty that triggered when she heard the word summer. They would figure it out. Right now she just wanted to enjoy this.

It wasn't until after six that she finally left the school. She had gotten sucked into reading about what the grant entailed. iPads for all the kids, field trips, new supplies, new computers. They would be paired up with a school in Spain, a sister school. It was amazing and Caroline was drowning in the pride she felt for this accomplishment. And despite everything, even working out all the logistics, the first person she wanted to tell was Sid. She knew they had a lot to talk about but she was just so excited.

She nearly floated to her car, her head spinning. She had to rush now to get the CONSOL but she would make it. She was too happy to let anything bother her.

Caroline didn't think twice of the group of high school boys that were loitering in school parking lot. It was a rough area and groups of afterschool kids often formed around the elementary school that was positioned smack dab in the middle of a neighborhood. The security at school was good. They patrolled, made sure no one started trouble. In the four years she had been there, Caroline had never had a problem. Until now.

It all happened so fast. They had shouted out to her at first and when she ignored them, they came closer. There were four of them. No one she recognized, they all seemed to be in high school or older. They closed in around her and Caroline didn't have time to react. One grabbed at her bag, when another piped in that he knew who she was. She was that fancy bitch fucking the hockey star. She was pushed around, while the leader of the group dug through her purse, looking for her wallet. They laughed at her calling her names and making lewd suggestions. She shouted back at them, but that just made them laugh louder.

"Fucking fourteen dollars?" the teenager growled thumbing through her wallet. "What the fuck?"

Caroline was terrified. She didn't know what to tell him. She was crying silently, fervently wishing the security guard would see her on the parking lot camera or while doing his rounds. It was late, most everyone else had gone except a few teachers tutoring. Someone had to see what was happening.

"This bitch is worthless," someone said and with a hard shove she was catapulted into a nearby SUV. Her face crashed into the side view mirror and she fell to the ground. Her head slamming against the concrete with a loud crack.

"Oh shit!" she heard and then the sound of footsteps running away. The pain was immense. She called out for help but her voice was faint and it hurt so much to talk. Shakily she tried to get up on her hands and knees but her head felt like a thousand pounds. Her fingers went to her hair and when they came away there was blood. A lot of blood.

Caroline's vision began to swim and just as she began to lose consciousness she stupidly thought, _I'm going to miss the game._

And then everything went dark.


	11. Chapter 11: The Hospital Part I

_***Author's note: A gazillion thank yous to all the feedback I received from the last chapter. I know I was a real jerk for leaving it on a cliffhanger, but it had to be done (insert evil laugh). I was worried about how Caroline's incident would be received. I know it was a little jump the sharky, but I have a plan for it and don't worry it wont involve Sid retiring to take care of an ailing Caroline. As you will see, it serves a purpose. I hope to have Part II up soon, this chapter just ended up being super mammoth and had to be broken up. Thank you for your patience, note to self: don't write fan fiction during the playoffs. Whew, I want to get the chapters up quicker but man these games are like a full time job. So so stressful, but pulling for our guys, they gotta get it together. Go Pens!***_

The Pittsburgh Penguins hold music really blew Sara thought as she paced the ER of UPMC's Presbyterian Hospital. She had talked to about five different people and been on hold for over 30 minutes. It was ridiculous really, but she was determined to get through. It had been sort of funny a few years ago when Caroline had asked Sara to be her emergency contact. That designation was for a family member or spouse, not a roommate you had just met six months prior. But Caroline didn't know a soul in Pittsburgh and with her parents two and a half hours away, using them as the contact kind of negated the "emergency" part. It was ironic really, Sara had been on her way to work when she got the call. The caller id indicated Presby, which at first irritated Sara because she wasn't late, why on earth would they be calling? But the call hadn't been to see where she was, it hadn't even come from the OR where she worked, instead it had come from a nurse in the emergency room notifying her that a Caroline Elizabeth Reid had been admitted. The nurse explained there had been an accident and the school had given the nurse Caroline's emergency contact information. The young woman was being seen by a doctor as they spoke. Sara told the nurse she would be there in 10 minutes and she was. Racing into the ER she saw a few familiar faces from the countless traumas she had been a part of over the years. Luckily Sara was able to get information pretty quickly. A contusion above her left eye that would need stitches and a larger wound on the back of her head that would require a few more. The concern though was the amount of blood loss and the possibility of a mild concussion. She had been unconscious for only a few minutes when the security guard had found her. Caroline had come to in the ambulance. She was disoriented and confused. The EMS worked had calmly explained that there was an accident and where she was headed. Caroline tried to ask more questions but the seasoned worker had kindly told her not to speak and just relax. She was going to be okay. Nothing some bandages and stiches couldn't take care of.

Sara had gotten to see her friend for just a few minutes. She had been pumped of pain medication on the ride over so she wasn't making much sense. Sara had held back the tears as she smiled at her friend, promising her everything would be okay and that she was here. She was shooed away moments later. The first call had been to Caroline's parents. They were frantic but calmed down after Sara explained everything. Both Michael and Wendy were on their way to get to their only daughter. Next came the trickier call. Sara was sure Caroline would have all sorts of opinions about Sara calling Sid. He was in the middle of a game. She could just hear her friend agonizing over "not wanting to bother him" or "it's not that bad, we can call him later." Fuck that. He was her boyfriend, her serious boyfriend. He needed to know immediately.

So that's where she was. Telling her story over and over to every level of management at the CONSOL, trying to get a message to Sid in the middle of the playoffs that his girlfriend was in the emergency room less than two miles away. Finally the music cut off and a voice came on the line, asking her to tell her story one more time.

"My name is Sara Falco. I am a friend of Sidney Crosby's girlfriend Caroline Reid. She had been in an accident and I need to get a message to Sid immediately. No I am not fucking joking. I need to get a message to Sidney. I'm not asking for you to pull him off the ice and put him on the phone, just write down the god damn message and give it to him. I'm sorry, no ma'am I don't mean to be disrespectful. I am just very upset. Yes, I'll hold."

Sara wanted to throw the phone across the room, but she was already pushing it with making the call. The ironic part was that the game was being played on a small TV in the upper corner of the room. Sara watched as Sid scored his second goal and watched as he celebrated with his teammates. Finally a voice came on the line. It was someone from the front office with an official sounding title. Sara took a deep breath and calmly re-explained her story. "Please just give him this message." she begged and finally she was reassured he would be contacted immediately.

Ending the call she turned to the television. There was six minutes left in the 2nd period and so she waited.

* * *

Sid blinked and time stopped.

"Anything we can do son, just let us know."

This wasn't happening. He must have misheard Ray. The hospital? They must have another Caroline Reid. She had a common name. She wasn't in the hospital, she was in the stands. She was here, at the CONSOL. She was probably sitting with his parents who had arrived just hours before the puck dropped.

"There must be some kind of mistake." his voice hollow.

Ray looked confused then sorrowful. "I'm sorry, I don't think there is." He handed Sid the piece of paper with the message. It looked small and foreign in his gloved hands. But the words were there. Caroline in an accidnet, at Presbyterian hospital. Sara Falco 555-5621.

Time resumed.

"I have to go." he said staring at the paper. Then he looked up at Ray, "I have to go."

Ray looked alarmed.

"Sid..."

"No. You don't tell me this then expect me to go back on the ice. I won't. I'm sorry, I have to go."

Sid turned and walked into the locker room. His teammates sat retaping sticks and chatting amongst themselves. The mood was light with the comfortable lead they were holding onto. Sid made his way to his stall and sat down. He pulled off his jersey, then unclipped his pads. He was like a robot. And he didn't say a word.

It wasn't until he started unlacing his skates that some of the guys realized what was happening.

"What are you doing man?" asked Brandon Sutter to his right.

"I have to leave. Caroline's hurt. She's at the hospital." Sid said, his fingers loosening the laces on his skates.

"We're in the middle of a game," James Neal said confused.

Sid stopped what he was doing and looked at his teammate.

"I don't care. I have to go." At this point the whole team had gone quiet looking at their captain with a mix of confusion and concern.

"You don't care?" Neal responded his tone sharp as he stood and stormed towards Sid, "This is the fucking playoffs man; you better fucking care."

Sid didn't flinch, he barely even registered the aggression of his teammate, his mind was running in a thousand different directions.

"Hey man," Craig Adams jumped from his seat and put his hand on Nealer's shoulder. "Calm down, she's in the hospital, its gotta be serious."

James shrugged off his teammate and sat back down with a petulant look on his face.

Sid scanned the room, his eyes were wild. He found it hard to focus. "I don't know anything. I just know that she's in the hospital and I have to be there. It's an emergency, I'm sorry guys, I have to go…I have to."

From across the room, Sidney could see Ray talking to Dan. The head coach was waving his arms animatedly as Ray tried to calm him down.

Sid finally focused on his team. "I can't stay, please don't ask me to go back out there…" and before he could stop it, his voice caught on a lump of emotion that had lodged itself in his throat.

Suddenly Evgeni Malkin stood and walked towards his friend and teammate. He put his hand on Sid's shoulder.

"Don't worry Sid, we got this."

Sid looked up, his eyes bright and his face washed in gratitude.

The other guys nodded, even Nealsy and in minutes Sid was out of his uniform and in his warm up gear ready to go.

Nathalie met him in the hallway and looked at Sid with concern, "I'll drive you."

He nodded and they were on their way.

* * *

The five minute drive felt like five hours. Sid stared out the window and bounced his left leg at a rapid speed. His mind was in a million places. He punched in Sara's number and waited with baited breath for her to pick up. She answered on the 3rd ring. She explained that Caroline was found hurt in the school parking lot, they think she had been mugged. Her purse and wallet were dumped out beside her. She had a head wound the doctors had stitched up in the ER as well as a cut on her forehead. She was banged up and had lost a lot of blood. The doctors were concerned she had a mild concussion and would be keeping her overnight for observation. She had moved from the ER to a room and was resting comfortably. She was relieved that he had gotten the message and gave Sid Caroline's room number. Just as he ended the call the bright red and white lights of the ER came into view and Sid had the door open before Nathalie could even bring the car to a complete stop.

"I'll see you in th-" but he was gone before she could even finish her sentence.

He raced through the ER, keeping his head down and his hat slung low over his eyes. Although it didn't help that he was dressed in Pens gear from head to toe. He spoke quietly to the nurse at the nursing station and ignored how wide her eyes got when he spoke to her. Her eyes flickered to the TV behind him, as she shakily directed him to the row of elevators leading to the wing of the hospital where Caroline had been sent. If the car ride seemed long, the elevator ride was excruciating. His mind was all over the place. Mugged. Did they hit her? The sheer idea of it made him feel like punching something and vomiting at the same time. All her could think as the elevator ticked up the floors one by one was how scared she must have felt. And then the feeling of dread blossomed in the pit of his stomach as a thought struck him. Did they know who she was? Did they think because of her affiliation with him that she would be a good target? That she would have a lot of money? The dread turned to guilt as the elevator doors opened on her floor. He navigated quickly through the halls until he came to a nursing station. He asked the attendant where he could find room 3107 and the older, severe looking woman eyed him critically.

"Are you family?"

"I'm sorry?" he asked confused.

"Are you a family member of…" she looked over at the name board, "Mr. Reid's?"

"Miss Reid," he corrected. "No, I'm not but I need to see her immediately, I'm her boyfriend."

The woman's face remained frozen, "I'm sorry sir, only family are allowed in the room."

Sid was about five seconds from losing it. He hadn't gotten this far only to be turned away. He absolutely never played the celebrity card and to be honest wasn't sure if it would fly in a hospital, but he would try, at this point he would try anything.

But before he could speak, a voice echoed in the hallway.

"Sidney Crosby."

He turned to see an older man, a doctor coming towards him with a wide smile on his face. It took Sid a few moments until he realized he knew this man. Dr. Tolan had been on a team Sid had met with a few times when he first got his concussion. The older man was very outgoing and told terrible jokes, but a good doctor.

"Dr. Tolan," Sid said, relieved that he was able to come up with the doctor's name. Not wasting any time Sid plead his case to the man.

Giving Sid a sympathetic look, Dr. Tolan turned to the nurse, "Thank you Nancy, but we can make an exception for Mr. Crosby, under my authorization."

The stern nurse looked put out but nodded and pointed Sid in the right direction.

Moments later he found her room. His heart was beating a mile a minute and he mentally prepared himself for the worst. He pushed through and entered the room.

Tears sprang to his eyes immediately. She was alone. It was quiet, except for the beeping of the monitors. Caroline lay in the hospital bed, a white bandage wrapped around her head like a head band, her hair hanging limply around her shoulders. Her eyes were closed and Sid could see the large bruise covering her left eye and cheek. A bandage was positioned just above her eye and she had a scrape on her chin.

Sid walked slowly and quietly toward her and fell into the seat beside her bed. Immediately his hand sought hers and he wrapped his fingers around hers. His eyes raked over her, taking in everything. The bruise was dark and purple, her cheek swollen. He sat there holding her hand and just staring. He marveled at how quickly things can change. Just 24 hours ago he was frustrated and upset over something so trivial. All of that just seemed so pointless now.

He leaned towards her, "I'm here, Care. I love you. I love you so much," he whispered.

She stirred.

Sid watched as Caroline's eyes fluttered, then her big, brown eyes were on his, albeit sleepy and a little confused.

"Sid?" her voice was hoarse and shaky.

"I'm here Care, shhh, its ok."

Her mouth trembled and her eyes instantly filled with tears.

"Oh Care, please don't cry. You're ok, I promise." He said soothingly, his large hand caressing the good side of her face. Gingerly he moved towards her and ever so lightly pressed his mouth to hers in the softest of kisses. Her lips were dry and cool, but sweet all the same. He sat back in his chair and smiled encouragingly at her. "You're going to be good as new."

Caroline's hand left his and reached up to her face, her fingers brushing the bruised skin. "It looks pretty bad, doesn't it?" she asked timidly.

Sid swallowed. "No, it's not that bad."

Caroline gave a weak smile, "Liar."

Sid took Caroline's hand back. "You are still my beautiful girl."

Her eyes filled again and she smiled, the tears spilling over and down her cheeks, "I'm really glad your here." she said sniffling, the back of her free hand swiping as her nose.

Sidney squeezed her hand. "I am too."

She gave a weak smile and closed her eyes for just a moment. Then they flew open in alarm.

"Oh Sid your game…" her eyes flickered to the TV that sat in the corner turned off.

"Don't worry about that, I'm right where I need to be." Sid said resolutely. He paused, then forged ahead, "Caroline, did they…did they…hit you?" He found himself nearly unable to ask the question and more so too afraid of the answer.

She shook her head quickly and a wave of relief washed over him and he continued, "What happened?"

She swallowed noticeably and then began telling Sid about the events earlier. She told him about the boys and how they had yelled at her, how they had pushed her around and went through her purse. How she had been shoved and she lost her footing crashing into the mirror and falling to the ground. Everything after that was cloudy. She had explained it all to the policeman in the ER when she was getting her stitches put in.

"Do you think they knew who you were?" Sid asked directly and Caroline didn't need him to clarify. He looked at her with apprehension and she just couldn't tell him the truth.

She shook her head, "No, I don't think so."

Before he could ask any more questions a commotion came through the door. Sid turned to see Sara and Nathalie, along with Troy and Trina enter the room. They were all talking animatedly and Sid turned back to Caroline to make sure she was ok with the disruption. She gave a weak smile and then winced, her hand coming up to her head, the persistent throbbing in her head aggravated by the noise.

"Hey!" Sid was up like a shot and headed towards the crowd. "Hey, hey, keep it down. Caroline needs rest, I know you want to see her. But let's just give her a second ok?" Sid maneuvered himself between the new visitors and Caroline, ushering them out and back into the hallway. "One at a time maybe?" Sid asked.

Troy, pushed to the back of the line, shouted out to his son, "We won Sid, 8-4!"

Sid smiled, "That's great dad. I'll be out in a little bit."

Sid turned back to Caroline, "Sorry about that."

But she was just looking at him adoringly, grateful for his interception. "Thanks," she said softly.

He sat back down and stared at his hands, "Listen, Care. About last night…" he trailed off, not certain how far to get into this right now. She had to know though, that he felt awful.

Caroline reached her hand over to his and spoke softly, "I don't want to talk about it, not now. Ok?"

Sid nodded but the air had shifted. Awkwardness setting in.

Luckily they were saved by the arrival of the doctor. Sid was relieved to see that it was Dr. Tolan.

"Hello there little lady, oh and hi there too Miss Reid." The doctor laughed a hearty laugh at his lame joke and gave Sid a nudge. "Did this guy warn you about me, huh?" Caroline smiled a polite smile and shook her head. Sid just stood behind the doctor giving Caroline a "I'm really sorry this guy is ridiculous" look as Dr. Tolan laughed nervously and continued on. He explained to Caroline the concern about the mild concussion. He explained how the brain works and the impact of the fall. What symptoms to look out for and when to know if you are in the clear. Caroline nodded, while Dr. Tolan's words brought Sid back memories he'd rather not remember. Dr. Tolan grabbed Sid's weak shoulder and jostled him around a bit. Sid grimaced but the doctor took no notice, "This guy knows what I am talking about right?"

Sid just smiled and gave a weak, "yeah."

Caroline cleared her throat, "Um, doctor. When will I be ok to go back to work?"

The doctor paused and looked at Caroline's chart.

"You're not going back." Sid's voice piped in from behind the doctor and her eyes flew to his.

"Wha…what?" Caroline's voice was shaky.

Sid stood, his arms crossed in front of his broad chest. "Care, you're not going back there."

Caroline's eyes darted nervously from the doctor then back to Sid. "I'm fine, Sid. It was just an accident."

"It's dangerous."

"It's not…" she started to protest.

"You were attacked, Caroline." Sid said tightly.

Dr. Tolan may have lame jokes, but he knew when to make an exit. He broke up the conversation with the some final instructions for Caroline and a follow up appointment for Monday. Going back to work would be dependent on how things went Monday. Then with a nod to Sid, he walked out.

Caroline looked out the window, frustrated with the turn of the conversation. Who was he to decide what she could and couldn't do?

"Care," Sid started, his voice more gentle than before. "It's not safe. You are… in a position where you wouldn't have to work. I can take care of you. I want to take care of you. What if something else happens? It's a dangerous neighborhood."

Caroline finally looked at him, "I can't believe you," she said frowning. "You don't get to decide for me. If you have concerns fine. We will discuss them, but I don't need you dictating my life while you go off and do whatever you want."

Sid stared at Caroline, was she serious? "Go off and do what I want?" he asked incredulously. "I'm here aren't I? You are my number one priority. I don't want anything bad to happen to you, that's not dictating your life, that's me taking care of you. Forgive me if that means not wanting you hurt, Caroline this could have been so much worse."

"Yeah, I know," she responded quickly, "I was there."

The two were at a standstill when the sound of voices carried into the room. Sid was ready to turn and send them away when the faces of Michael and Wendy Reid appeared. Caroline's face crumpled at the sight of them and they rushed to their daughter's side. Sid stood and scooted away from the bed to give the family their space.

He needed to get some air anyway.


	12. Chapter 12: The Hospital Part II

He'd been staring blankly at the television in the doctor's lounge now for over an hour. Troy and Trina sat next to him, his mother sending him worried looks, his dad busy on his phone. Caroline's parents had been in there ever since the hospital staff ushered the Crosby family into the doctor's lounge where they would be more comfortable and away from the excitement of the waiting room. The real VIP treatment. It was a kind gesture, Sid was just too distracted to appreciate it. The lounge was quiet and while his parents were quick to ask questions when he emerged from Caroline's room, the heavy sigh as their only son fell into an uncomfortable chair alerted them to tread carefully. With a weary voice Sid explained what he could to his parents. He left out the part about telling Caroline that he didn't want her to work at Garfield any longer. It had been an unexpected outburst, he knew that. Everything that came out of his mouth was always thought out. Careful and calculated, the epitome of PC. But when it came to Caroline, all that flew out the window. This incident had rattled him to his core. When Caroline asked when she could go back there, Sid didn't think, he just spoke. It was unfair of him to tell her what to do. He knew she loved her job and her kids were incredible. He had visited a few times and had often thought about how rough the neighborhood seemed, but the school was a safe haven for all students, staff and faculty. Until now.

He could do it though. What he'd said. Take care of her. Without a second thought. Life without Caroline just didn't exist for him anymore. If he had his way she would be at the Sewickley house and wearing that ring right now. But he had promised to move at a pace she was comfortable with and the rocky road they have traveled the past few weeks wasn't helping that pace move any faster.

His thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Caroline's parents, as they wandered into the doctor's lounge, looking a little lost. Sid sat up quickly and looked expectantly at Mr. and Mrs. Reid. They both looked tired and worn. Mrs. Reid's eyes were bloodshot and Mr. Reid looked drained.

"She's asleep." Mr. Reid said wearily.

"My poor girl, she is so worn out," Mrs. Reid interjected, her eyes already filling again. The emotional night continuing to take its toll. "We were so frightened."

Join the club Sid thought.

Sid stood and motioned to his parents behind him, who were very eager to hear what the Reids had to say.

"Mr. and Mrs. Reid, these are my parents Trina and Troy. Mom, Dad, these are the Reids. Michael and Wendy." He was awkward with his introductions. Emotionally and physically exhausted, he lacked the grace he usually exhibited when speaking. The men shook hands and the women lightly embraced. The pair of parents immediately began chatting. It was not under the circumstances that anyone had wanted to meet, but seeing that their children were so serious about one another, the foursome were glad the time had come. The conversation ping ponged everywhere from Caroline's condition to awkward conversation about the weather in Nova Scotia. Sidney tried to stay engaged but his mind just kept wandering. Finally the conversation trailed off as the nurse came in to check on the families and let them know visiting hours were ending. The Reids were staying at Caroline's, the Crosbys would head back to Sewickley. The team was leaving for Long Island tomorrow, after morning practice, however Sid had texted Dan and Ray asking if he could arrive Saturday evening. He would pay for the charter, he told them. He wanted to make sure Caroline was ok before leaving so abruptly. They had agreed, although Sid wondered how many favors he had left.

Troy and Trina began to walk out with the Reids, expecting their son was right behind them, but he stayed standing in the lounge.

"I'm not going," he said.

The parents looked confused. "But visiting hours are over," started Trina.

"I know, but I'm going to see if they will let me stay. There is a couch in the room. I don't want to leave her here alone." His voice was strong, resolute.

Wendy's eyes got misty, Sid was starting to see where Caroline's emotional side came from.

"She's lucky to have you," Mrs. Reid said kindly.

Sid almost laughed. Not lately, he thought.

Instead he gave a small smile and hugged Mrs. Reid tightly.

He shook Mr. Reid's hand firmly and said goodbye to his parents, ignoring the voiced concerns of Troy, who felt like his son needed a good night sleep at home, instead of on a couch in a hospital room.

Twenty minutes later, after a lot schmoozing, a few killer smiles and a round of autographs, he was in.

The room was dark and silent save for the machines that whooshed and ticked in the background. Caroline was asleep. Her head lolled to the side, her breathing steady. She had been so fired up when he left. She was stubborn. She didn't back down from him either, it was something he'd grown to love most about her. He loved that she didn't see him as Sidney Crosby. Whether she was angry, happy, confused…aroused. It was always the same. She saw him, just him. And the guilt that he had taken that for granted surrounded him.

Sid bent forward and brushed his lips against her forehead, "Night, Care" he whispered.

He made his way towards the couch and kicked off his shoes and socks. Laying down on the small and uncomfortable couch and pulled a thin blanket on top of him. He moved around a lot, trying to find a comfortable position before the events of the day finally caught up with him and he fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

_She was surrounded. Their faces were fuzzy and they came at her in blurred figures. She was being thrown from person to person, her feet unable to keep up as she stumbled into them. There was a lot of noise, nothing she could make out, just shouts and cruel laughter. She was spinning, disoriented. Confused. Finally a figure came into view. He was standing outside of the circle, unmoving. She couldn't see his face at first, but then it came into focus. It was Sid! She was saved. She tried to call out to him but when she opened her mouth, nothing came out. She tried to scream, but it was useless. Surely he saw her. The spinning was getting harder, suddenly she felt a blow to her face. Someone had hit her. Her head whipped to the side. Then another blow and her head flew back in the other direction. She could feel pain. She could feel the warm blood trailing down her cheek. She tried waving her arms to get his attention, but he wouldn't move. Why couldn't he see her? Finally with a burst of energy she broke free. She ran towards him but he never seemed to get any closer. She kept running and running trying to get away, trying to get help, until finally her legs could no longer hold her and she fell to the ground. And then he was there, calling her name, "Care, care, care." With the tiny speck of energy she had left, she turned to look at him. His face was close but where his eyes should have been, there was just blackness._

She screamed and this time she was heard.

"Care, care! Wake up, you're ok, you're safe."

Caroline bolted up in bed, drenched in sweat, tears pouring down her face, her lungs screaming for air. Her head throbbed and all she could see was darkness. Caroline looked around wildly, still disoriented and confused. She felt arms come around her and she clawed at his hold, unsure of what was going on.

"Care, it's me. It's Sid, I'm here sweetheart, you're ok. Please Care, look at me," his voice was gentle but insistent.

Caroline found it hard to focus, but as her eyes adjusted to the darkness, his face came into view. She could see his eyes. They were wide and worried, his whole face was washed in concern.

She gulped desperately for air as she stared at him. Then burst into tears.

He'd awoken to the sound of whimpering. Sitting up, he looked over at Caroline and saw her tossing and turning. He'd gotten up to make sure she was ok, but as her face came into focus he saw the tears running down her cheeks. The whimpering continued and he shook her shoulder gently, trying to wake her. Instead, the noises grew louder and her tossing and turning turned to thrashing. He watched as her chest heaved up and down, as if straining for air.

That's when he'd finally been able to wake her. Now she clutched at him, her head burrowed into his neck, her arms wrapped around his shoulders, as sobs wracked her entire body.

A nurse came into the room and turned on the light. Caroline didn't seem to notice, but Sid put a hand up stopping the nurse in her tracks. He gave her a pleading look, indicating everything was ok, but that they needed to be alone. To his relief she nodded, turned off the light and left the room.

He held onto her tightly, making soothing noises, gently rocking her and his hand ran up and down her back comfortingly. After a while the sobs slowed and her shaking shoulders stopped. She kept her hold on him with no indication of letting go. He just held her. So scared for her, so heavy hearted about what she had been through, not just with today, but the past few weeks. The events of last night seeped into his mind and he couldn't push them out. Things would have to change. He would have to change. Watching her like this. It broke his heart. No, correction, it shattered his heart into a million pieces.

Finally she pulled away from him, the tears coming slower now, she hiccupped a little. Her bruises looked bright and raw from the recent trauma and her eyes were red and swollen.

"Bad dream," she whispered.

He nodded, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Caroline shook her head, "Will you just hold me until I fall back asleep?" she asked, her voice small and unsure.

Sid nodded and scooted himself further onto her bed, extending his legs outs and lying down. Careful of the tubes and wires, Caroline maneuvered herself on the small bed and molded herself into him. Her head lay on his chest, as his arm came around her, holding her close. It wasn't very comfortable, but at this moment he hardly cared.

"I'm scared," she said quietly.

"I know. The police will find them, don't worry," he replied.

"No," she said. "I'm scared about us."

He didn't know what to say. He lay there thinking, then croaked out, "We're going to be fine."

She didn't reply. He looked down and saw she had fallen back asleep. He dropped his nose to the top of her head and breathed in, her scent, even masked with the smells of hospitals, was unmistakable and it soothed him into sleep.

Morning came quickly. Sid opened his eyes to a nurse standing above him clearing her throat uncomfortably, she was there to check vitals, but instead had come in on the pair in their sleeping embrace.

Caroline hadn't moved an inch the rest of the night, laying in the same position. Embarrassed, he moved out from underneath her, his arm asleep from its awkward angle. Caroline stirred as he stood and gave the nurse a self-conscious smile. Luckily he was saved by the entrance of the Caroline's parents. They looked tired but smiled at him warmly. Hearing the bustle building in her room, Caroline rubbed at her eyes and sat up. She straightened her gown and looked at the crowd that had gathered. She said good morning to her parents and cast a nervous look at Sid with quiet hello. Mumbling that she had to go to the bathroom, she swung her legs over the side of the bed. Sidney moved quickly to help her, as her i.v. would have to go with her, but she waved him off gently. Grasping at the back of her hospital gown, she tried to preserve her modesty as she shuffled to the bathroom.

As soon as the door to the bathroom closed, Mr. Reid looked at Sid with concern, "There is quite a crowd outside."

Sid stared dumbly at Michael.

Mr. Reid continued, "There are some reporters and some fans outside. Evidently they know you are here."

Sid groaned audibly, running his hand through his tousled hair. Thinking quickly, he strode out of the room and to the nurse's station. Fifteen minutes later, a game plan had been formed. A hospital administrator offered another exit and gave Sid the details so that someone could pull around. The discharge could be done at a station near the exit, so that they didn't need to go through the lobby. The doctor would in to see Caroline within the hour and if all went well she would on her way home before noon.

Relieved Sid returned to the room to explain this to the Reid family. Sure enough not thirty minutes later, while Caroline was eating her breakfast and Sid was caught up in light conversation with Caroline's parents, the doctor arrived. He asked a few questions, performed a few tests and was able to give her the clearance to head home. She would need to report any signs of dizziness, headaches or nausea, but seeing that she woke without any symptoms was a good sign.

Sid thanked the doctor with a handshake and Mrs. Reid pulled out some clothes for Caroline to change into. By 11:30 everything had been taken care of and Caroline's parents went down to the parking garage to move their car to the remote area the administrator had offered. The Reid's were not known so they could slip out completely undetected.

"I'm flying out tonight," Sid said.

He was sitting in the chair next to Caroline's bed, his elbows resting on his thighs, still wearing the warm up gear from yesterday. He was in desperate need of a shower and a good meal, but that could wait for now. She was sitting up on the edge of the bed, her jean clad legs dangling over the side. She looked at him and nodded.

"I, er, I talked to Dan and he said it would be ok to fly out separately. I wanted to be with you to get settled."

"I'm fine." Caroline replied shortly staring at the ballet flats on her feet.

"Yeah, I know. I just wanted to be around. You know…"

"I'm not quitting my job," she interrupted.

Sid looked at her quizzically, caught off guard.

She continued.

"This was scary. For me, and I understand for you too. But I'm not leaving my job because of what happened. I'm sorry, but I won't do it."

Sid caught up to the conversation and replied,"What about the nightmare? Caroline, you were terrified. I was terrified. I've never seen anyone so petrified in my entire life."

Caroline looked away, she couldn't tell him that while the dream version of the attack was frightening, the part he played was just as bad.

He took her silence as an opportunity to continue.

"Care, try to see it from my point of view. It's a dangerous area, something was bound to happen and now that it has, I just think…you're in a position to be choosy about where you work. Maybe there's some other option."

"No, Sid. I don't know why you think this is something that you can decide for me," she looked at him urgently. "This job is everything to me."

"What about me?" he interjected, not wanting the conversation to escalate but fearing that was where they were heading.

She looked dumbfounded. "What about you?"

"I don't want anything to happen to you. I don't want to see you hurt."

"You get hurt all the time. Do you think it's easy for me to watch you get pushed around and beat up nearly every night? Don't you know how scary it was for me when you hurt your shoulder the other night? I was terrified. But I would never ask you to stop playing hockey. It's important to you and my job is important to me. I wish you could see that." Caroline looked at him pleadingly, wanting so much for him to understand.

"That's completely different. We are prepared for the possibility of injuries, plus we have gear to protect us." He sighed, "I get it. I do, but…I mean, Care. If anything happened to you. I don't know what I would do. This," he gestured to her face, "scared the shit out of me. I just don't want anything else to happen."

She was quiet for a minute, staring at her hands. When she lifted her head and looked at him, her eyes were brimming with tears.

Sid stood and came over to sit next to her on the bed. He put his arm around her shoulders drawing her close.

Caroline swallowed back the tears and looked at Sid with determination. Her eyes bounced all over his face, so eager to make him understand.

"We got the grant. You know, the special project we were working on. You dont have to worry, everything is going to be different. I worked hard for this, I deserve to be a part of it."

She stared at him, her eyes now so hopeful.

This was his chance, he could make things right again. This was his chance to put his money where his mouth was and make up for a week of stupid mistakes and taking things for granted. But as he looked at her, half her face covered in a swirl of blue, purple and angry red, he couldn't stop the words that fell out of his mouth.

"There will be other opportunities."

Caroline's face fell.

Then hardened.

"I think you should leave." she said pulling completely away from him.

"C'mon Caroline." he protested.

"No," she replied tightly. "Clearly this conversation isn't going anywhere. I want you to go. This is just more of the same. It's all about you Sid and I'm too tired to argue."

"That's not fair." he replied sharply.

"No? What's not fair is me being there for you no matter what. From the very beginning I have never asked you for anything. I did what I could for you no questions asked. And now I'm asking you to support me and you cant do it."

"Because I'm trying to protect you!" he interrupted standing up, trying to get some control back.

"I don't need protecting! If you cared so much about keeping me from getting hurt, then the other night would have never happened." she shot back at him.

He could tell she wanted to cry, but was holding back. Too stubborn to show that kind of emotion right now.

"You say all these wonderful things and make me feel like I'm important to you. To us. But your actions say otherwise."

Sid's mind was racing, he tried to let the thoughts fully develop before they spewed out of his mouth, but it was useless. "I'm here aren't I?" he said, spreading his hands out in front of him.

"Yeah, to tell me what to do and how to live my life!" she shot back her voice laced with anger.

Sid scoffed, "It's called being in a relationship, but I forget you don't know anything about that." And as soon as the words left his mouth, he prayed desperately to the hockey gods to take them back.

She looked like she had been slapped. He wounded face became more wounded if that was possible. Then she straightened her shoulders and pointed to the door.

"Just leave."

"Care," he started.

"No. Go, now." her voice trembling.

"I think you should listen to her Sidney." the voice of Michael Reid came up behind him. Sid looked at Caroline, his face full of regret. "I'm...sorry."

Then with a turn and a remorseful look to her dad, Sid walked out.

Again.

He hadn't gone far when he was met by Jen from PR and Cameron coming off the elevator. He groaned inwardly.

It just didn't stop, ever.

The two women rushed toward him.

"Sid, I'm so sorry to bother you," Jen said regretfully. "How's Caroline?"

He ran his hand through his hair and put on his mask. "Not bad. Getting better. Thanks."

Cameron stood off to the side, her eyes darting all around the hospital hallway looking ill at ease.

"That's good." Jen gave a reassuring smile then got down to business. The city was all a buzz about the rumors. What had happened? Why was Sidney Crosby setting up residency at UPMC hospital? They needed him to give a statement. His mind was spinning. He didn't even have a chance to process what had just happened and now he was expected to share it with the whole city. He was just so tired.

Cameron took his silence as a chance to speak up. "I can get a statement from Caroline."

"No," he said sharply.

Cameron looked offended.

Taking a deep breath, he collected himself. "I'll do it. Leave her alone."

They needed to get out of there before Caroline left her room. He didn't want anyone to see her bruised and bandaged. He'd go down there and give the statement, explain what had happened and that everything was okay.

Even if it was the furthest thing from the truth.

_****author's note: This is like the fifth version of this chapter and I'm still not completely happy with it. I know I have them going back and forth from everything ok to bad again, but it's a process. It hopefully will tie into the bigger picture I have worked out in my head, although these days the playoffs are taking up all my brain power (hence the pesky delay in this chapter). Anywho, I know it's not fair but I do always love a sassy Sid and a Caroline who isn't intimidated by it. Thanks for reading/reviewing.****_


	13. Chapter 13: Parental Guidance

Caroline didn't volunteer any information to her father after Sidney quickly retreated from the room, despite Michael Reid's looks of concern. She couldn't speak, knowing that if she did, she would burst into tears. She couldn't do that, not here not now. Instead she busied herself with her belongings and the two sat in awkward silence until the orderly came for her with a wheelchair. Hospital procedure.

In the car, sitting in the back seat of her parents Taurus did she finally let the tears flow quietly but steadily. He didn't understand, she thought miserably looking out at the dreary April day. A light mist fell from the dark grey sky that cloaked the city in gloominess. She wondered if she had overreacted. If she had been ungrateful that he had come to her so quickly, without question. Her heart had nearly burst when she opened her eyes and saw him there. Worry in his eyes, but wearing a smile of reassurance nonetheless. She was still angry about what had happened at his apartment a few days ago, but having him there by her side had definitely pushed the ugly encounter to the back of her mind. However when he had voiced his concern, no not voiced concern, when he had ordered her not to return to her school, Caroline saw red. He couldn't take that away from her. This job was the only thing she had left that was hers. She had meant it when she said she would do anything for him. And she had. Without complaint. She put up with trips to the grocery store that took five times longer than normal because she was constantly being stopped by other shoppers, asking her if she was who she was and then answer the never ending questions or requests pertaining to Sidney. She put up with the constant stares and glares from other women when they went out to eat or were anywhere in public. Not to mention standing off to the side for the lengthy impromptu autograph sessions at restaurants, in shops or at the movies. Favorite trips to Target or the bookstore with Sara were never simple as strangers knew no boundaries. Even a night out with coworkers a month or two ago had turned disastrous when a stream of guys had hit on her, using pathetic pick up line after pick up line as they drunkenly tried to be the one who could steal the girlfriend of Sidney Crosby away.

In fact, everywhere she went she was Sidney Crosby's girlfriend.

And she loved him and she didn't care that everyone saw her as that, because Monday through Friday, 8 am to 3 pm she was Miss. Reid. Twenty faces looked at her and they didn't care who her boyfriend was or what he did. She was their nice teacher who played math games with them and read Roald Dahl books aloud every Friday morning. Their teacher who was always there with a smile and a hug when nothing in their lives gave them anything to smile about or there was no one at home who showed any affection. To take that away would break her heart. She appreciated his concern for her safety. She loved being cared for and looked after, but being told what to do, she just couldn't tolerate. The fears that had bubbled up when he had presented her with that ring, came rushing back. She wanted to spend her life with him. She thought about him every minute of every day. Everything that happened to her, she wanted him to know about or be part of. But she still had to have something for herself. She had to hang on to some sort of independence. It was non-negotiable.

"How are you sweetie?" her mom asked tentatively from the front seat.

Caroline swiped at her eyes, the tears slightly burning the still red and raw bruises on her cheek.

"Ok," she replied quietly.

Treading carefully, Wendy Reid continued, "I'm glad Sidney was able to stay the night with you. I'm sure it was hard to rest with everything going on."

"Mmmhmm," Caroline murmured, her eyes back to the landscape passing by.

"He's such a wonderful boy," her mother mused.

Caroline's eyes filled again and she blurted out, "He wants me to quit my job. He says it's not safe. He thinks he can tell me what to do."

She sounded like an obstinate teenager, but she didn't care. They needed to know he wasn't that great. She needed them to be mad at him, like she was.

"Frankly, I agree with him." Caroline's father replied tightly, his eyes focused on the road.

"What?" Caroline asked sitting up.

"You were attacked. In broad daylight. It's a dangerous area. I wasn't thrilled with the idea of you working there in the first place, but I knew how much it meant to you. But this incident, well I thought eventually something like this might happen. I know I can't tell you what to do, but I don't want you working there either. There has to be other options," her father said calmly.

"Like what?" Caroline shot back. "A professional girlfriend? Living off someone else's fame and money? Maybe I should just become some pathetic housewife. My only purpose in life serving my husband's wants and needs."

"Watch it, young lady," her father said sternly. She may have been twenty-six years old, but she still needed to speak respectively to her parents.

"It was an accident," Caroline said desperately. "It was just some punk kids who said some mean things and went too far. I'm fine."

But she knew she wasn't fine. She had hurt herself pretty bad. And by any indication of last night's nightmare, the emotional toll might be worse than the physical.

"You're not fine. I know that, your mother knows that and Sidney knows that too. When you have people that love you, they will do anything to protect you. That's how life works. To fault Sidney for caring about you and wanting you safe isn't fair and you know that," Michael scolded his daughter.

"So I should quit my job and live my life in a padded room, so I will never get hurt?" Caroline asked testily.

"Caroline," her father said warning her to watch herself. His years in the military had taught him discipline and respect. Two things he had instilled in his children.

"Sorry," she mumbled, crossing her arms in front of her, feeling childish and helpless.

"You're not just thinking of yourself anymore," her mother said softly. "I know this all new to you sweetie, but relationships mean compromise. I know how much your job means to you, but don't attack those who love you because they are worried. Just talk to him. Tell him your concerns, but don't dismiss his."

Caroline was silent, taking in her mother's words. She was right, she thought reluctantly. Sidney had been right too when he said she didn't know much about relationships. He didn't need to say it so sassily, but she knew he was prone to that when pushed too far. And she had pushed. Knowing that she was instigating but too frustrated with the events of the past week to care. Something had to give. They were butting heads at every turn. She stood by what she had said though. He was good at saying all the things she wanted to hear, but he had let her down too. He wasn't completely innocent in all this. But eventually she was going to have to talk to him. Really talk to him. Let him know her fears. This was more than just her job or Cameron's devious intentions, this was her needing to be 100 percent honest with him, no matter how uncomfortable it would be.

* * *

He just wanted a long hot shower to clear his head. He'd given Jen a statement to pass along to the press. Vague but appreciative. The media didn't need to know everything he thought stubbornly. He'd ignored Cameron on the drive back to the CONSOL, despite her efforts to engage him in conversation. The women were taking him back to his car which had been left in the parking lot. The team was set to leave in less than an hour. There was no way he'd make it. His phone was dead. He reeked. He was worn down emotionally and physically. And he was starving. He figured he'd stick with the original plan to fly out at six on the charter, no one needed to know what was going on with him and Caroline. It was no one's business. So when he'd arrived home with that shower in the forefront of his mind, he couldn't help but be irked by the sound of his mother fusing around in the utility room off the kitchen humming to herself as if she didn't have a care in the world.

Coming around the corner, he saw Trina folding clothes as the sound of the washer and dryer whirled in the background. She looked surprised when she saw her son come into view.

"Sid, sweetie. I wasn't expecting to see you for a few hours. I assumed you were going to Caroline's." Trina said kindly. "How is she doing?"

Sid rubbed at the light prickle of his playoff beard. Managing a weak smile, he responded. "She's ok, getting better. She had a rough night, but I guess that's to be expected. She went home with her parents." Realizing he couldn't keep his emotions at bay, he confessed to his mother, "she's…not happy with me right now."

A shadow crossed over his mother's eyes, "What's wrong?"

"I don't really want to get into it right now. I really need a shower." Sid explained, hoping that his irritability wasn't completely obvious.

Trina's face softened. "Of course. I thought I'd come by and get some laundry done for you. I know how busy everything is and with Caroline's accident, it has to be very upsetting," she paused. "Go take a long hot shower and I can put some lunch together. You'll feel so much better after you clean up."

She was right. Thirty minutes later he emerged from a shower so hot that his pink skin buzzed. He would have stayed in there longer, but the hot water had eventually ran out. Clad in a t-shirt and shorts, he wandered back into the kitchen to find Trina putting the finishing touches on a baloney sandwich and a bowl of chili. There wasn't much in the house these days, but she'd managed to work with what she had. Sid didn't care. He inhaled the sandwich in a few big bites and set to work on the chili. Trina worked on a second sandwich for her son and poured him a glass of milk. It reminded her of years ago, making him massive lunches after a morning on the ice, when he was growing at an alarming rate and had the appetite of a moose.

He ate the second sandwich a little slower, the lines around his eyes usually pronounced by laughter and happiness, were now more defined and sourced from stress and exhaustion. Trina wanted to just reach out and brush the curls off his forehead and sooth him, take away all the pressure that visibly weighed on him.

"Better?"

He nodded and gave his mom and tired smile.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked kindly.

He paused for just a moment, then proceeded to tell his mom about the conversation he'd had this morning with Caroline. It felt good to just let it all out, especially knowing his mother would support him no matter what. He censored himself a little bit, not wanting to share too many intimate details; words and feelings that belonged to him and Caroline.

Trina listened intently and when he'd finished, she was silent.

He watched as she struggled to piece together a response, but finally she spoke.

"I never told you this before, but I was a bit of an artist when I was a girl."

Sid was surprised. He didn't know that. She'd always been great at helping him with art projects when he was in elementary and middle school, but he just figured it was an unknown talent.

"I did landscapes mostly. I loved big canvases, so when I was in high school I joined the drama club to work on set design. I absolutely adored it. With two brothers so heavily into sports, I loved having a creative outlet. When I graduated from high school, I got a full scholarship to the School of the Arts in Vancouver. For a girl whose furthest trip had been to New Brunswick, it was quite an opportunity. I'd spent most of my formative years looking through art books of beautiful scenery. Rolling hills in Ireland, the pyramids of Egypt, lush rainforests in South America. To get out of Nova Scotia and discover another part of the country, especially a place so exciting like Vancouver was a dream come true."

Sid's mind was reeling, he'd never known any of this, but he had to wonder why she was telling him this.

Sensing his confusion, Trina got to the point.

"A month before I was supposed to leave, I met your father," she explained. "It was a whirlwind romance and by the end of the month, I knew I couldn't go. He had a chance to make it in the NHL, his dream. I wanted to be there for him. I was so in love. So I turned down the scholarship. Married your father only a few months later and you came along not much longer. I never painted after that. At the time it didn't matter, following your father and helping him with his dream was enough for me. But he didn't make it. I always wondered if I would have. I wouldn't say it's a regret. If I'd gone, who knows if your father and I would have stayed together. And then I wouldn't have you. And you and your sister are my greatest accomplishments, you two are my masterpieces. But, that curiosity doesn't go away. Art was such a part of me and I gave that up. I dedicated my life to another person's dream, and to be honest I did it again when you came along. I love my life, but I can sympathize with Caroline. I can understand how she may be reluctant to give that up. I don't say this to hurt you, but it's hard to watch another person live out their dreams, when you know the cost is your own."

Sid was shocked. He'd never thought about his mother's life before him. She'd seemed as dedicated to hockey as his dad and his uncles. She was always there supporting him, pushing him. Making every opportunity available to him. And he thought about Caroline. He could see how propositioning her with the idea that he would take care of her could have worried her. He knew how much her job meant to her. That while it wasn't glamorous or lucrative, it paid off in other ways. He knew how tightly she held onto her independence and how much she hated depending on him for anything financial. Taking that away, or even suggesting it, hadn't been fair. He'd grown up thinking his mother's only ambition had been supporting him. But she'd had dreams. At one time her greatest wish had been to be her own person. She'd sacrificed that for love, because it had been enough for her. But he couldn't blame her if she'd thought _what if?_

"You're so good to everyone, sweetie," his mother said, her hand on his back, soothing him in her motherly touch. "I always knew the girl who got you would be so lucky. There's a lot that comes with relationships: compromise, sacrifice, understanding. It isn't easy, but I always knew that you'd find the right partner. I know that Caroline is that girl for you. I knew it the first time I met her. Watching you, so attentive to her, so caring, so protective. But you cast a big shadow. It's a wonderful, beautiful shadow, however I can understand her need to be her own person. That doesn't mean she won't be the most supportive and loving person to you, I know she will. That girl loves you with every fiber of her being, I've seen her become the most important person in your life and that means more to me than any trophy you will win or dollar you will earn."

"I just want to protect her," Sid said quietly. "I don't want to take her identity away, I just want to keep her safe. "

"I know, Sidney. I think you two need to just talk. More than talk, I think you need to listen."

* * *

She'd been home for a few hours now. Camped out on the couch.

Sara had been waiting in the driveway when Caroline arrived home, coming straight over after her long overnight shift. Her face blotchy and eyes red from crying, Caroline had smiled weakly at her friend who'd showered her with concern and support. Once settled in the house, Sara had thrust a gift bag in Caroline's hands. A care package filled with treats from the hospital gift shop. Candy, magazines, a soft stuffed bear and a t-shirt with the number 87 emblazoned on the back. At the time Sara thought it was cute and funny to add in the package, but when her best friend burst into tears at the sight of it, she'd felt awful. Through the tears Caroline lay on the couch, her friend perched on the end and recounted the fight from the morning. Caroline knew that she could garner the sympathy from Sara that she hadn't found from her parents. Sure enough Sara gasped in outrage at all the right parts and squeezed her friend's arm in support when needed. She said all the things Caroline had wanted to hear, but rather than make Caroline feel better, she felt worse. Retelling the story made her feel nasty and cruel. Sid had gone to her with nothing but good intentions and being a person who was terrible at holding grudges, Caroline became wracked with guilt. It didn't dismiss all her feelings, but it made her realize that she hadn't been fair to him either. Everything had become so compounded it was too hard to find perspective on anything. Sara didn't try to give advice one way or the other. What she did say was what everyone had said. They needed to talk. And not the _let me kind of tell you my feelings but try not to hurt yours_ talk. No, the uncomfortable conversation needed to happen. The kind of conversation where you either come out stronger, or you start to reevaluate the relationship all together. Sara left Caroline to her thoughts and emotionally overwhelmed by it all, Caroline quickly fell asleep.

She'd awoken to her mother's voice. Telling her she had another guest. Caroline was drowsy and disoriented but sat up when she saw the tall frame of her boss enter the living room. Lamar Dixon was anguished at the sight of the young teacher. He'd told her how terrible he felt and how everyone at the school was sending their very best for a speedy recovery. He had some good news, relatively so. A young man had come into the school this morning asking about the teacher who'd been hurt the night before. With little prodding and a few intimidating stares from Principal Dixon, the teenager had confessed to being part of the group who'd accosted Caroline. He'd broken easily, insisting they hadn't meant to hurt her, just scare her and get some money. But things had gotten out of control and when they pushed her too hard, the group panicked and ran off. Justin, the teen had remembered Miss Reid from the school carnival last spring and was worried that she'd been really hurt. It didn't take long for the authorities to arrive at the nearby high school and arrest the other boys involved in the crime. Mr. Dixon knew that Caroline would need some time to heal, but he hoped his news would be of some comfort. She could take all the time she needed, he insisted, but he hoped she would come back. Caroline didn't have an answer for him. She just nodded and thanked him.

She spent the rest of the afternoon watching Golden Girls reruns on TV as she dozed in and out of sleep. The medication made her feel kind of loopy and sleepy.

Around 4 o'clock her parents went out to get some groceries for dinner. Her mom had wanted to stay, but Caroline assured her she was fine. Caroline could use the alone time. But not ten minutes after her parents left, did the doorbell ring. Reluctantly she padded to the door, clad in shorts and an old OSU t-shirt and opened the door.

Even when she was the maddest at him, her heart still leapt at the sight of his handsome face.

"Hey," he said gently. He was dressed in dress pants and a crisp white shirt that was unbuttoned at the collar. His suit jacket and tie lay on the passenger seat of his car, as formal dress for travel was required even when traveling alone. He had a few hours before his flight departed and he didn't want to leave town with things so uncertain between them.

"I thought we could talk," his eyes soft on hers, causing her to tingle all the way down to her toes.

She nodded and let him in.

_***Author's note: So sorry for the long delay. Was out of town two weekends in a row and work is super busy. Thank you for your patience and hopefully I will have the next chapter up soon. Thank you for your reviews, it was really interesting to hear everyone's perspective on "the fight." What I hope to convey is that no one is really right or wrong in what's going on. This is the messy middle, when the honeymoon phase is over and you try to figure out how two very different lives can meld together. I hope this is being accomplished without completely demolishing the character of either party. The Trina story is completely fictional but I am fascinated by how she and Troy work in Sid's life, how they balance being a parent and managing his career. Anyway, feeling like I'm on a roll here, so hopefully an update will come sooner rather than later. And as always, Go Pens!***_


	14. Chapter 14: A Talk

_***Author's note: Sooooo, insert excuse here for the delay of this chapter. In all fairness I had planned on getting this chapter out much sooner. But then 4 little games pretty much put me in a tailspin of depression and complete disinterest in all things hockey. But then I saw Sid, all shaved and hair cut and I just fell in love again and decided to get back on track. However, writing this chapter proved to be super super hard and I thought about revising the story completely. I went back and forth for a good while deciding how to direct the story now that the playoffs were over and ultimately decided to make some changes but keep with my overall direction. I hope you like the chapter and I really am so sorry about how slow these updates come. Thank you for sticking with me and for your motivational reviews. Even the please update ones put a little fire under me to move things along. So thanks! And thanks to the Penguins for a wonderful (although slightly heartbreaking) year. P.S. I HATE THE BRUINS, go hawks!***_

He smelled of soap, starch and a scent distinctly Sid. It overwhelmed her senses as he brushed past her and into her living room. Closing the door behind him, Caroline took a moment to close her eyes and take a deep breath. Thinking of all the things they needed to discuss and hash out was a lot easier than actually doing it, but he was here now, and really it was better to talk sooner rather than later.

"I didn't want to leave town angry. After….everything, I don't want that to happen. When we argue or disagree I want to talk about it, I think that's the best way to deal with things," his voice sounded as if he was confident, but she could hear the tremor in his voice. It was almost comforting knowing he was nervous too.

She turned around and looked at him. His face mirrored his voice, confident but a smidge of uncertainty simmering under the surface. "You're right," she agreed, her hands already twisting and pulling at one another. Her heart found its way into her throat as she swallowed uncomfortably. He held a paper bag in his hands and it served as the perfect prop to distract her from the pull of his eyes.

Watching her, he thrust the bag towards her.

"I'm sorry about what I said at the hospital. About you not knowing about relationships. It was wrong. I was wrong. I got you this as sort of a peace offering," she watched his Adam's apple bob nervously against the pale skin of his neck.

Caroline took the bag and motioned for him to take a seat on the couch where she had set up camp. He folded himself gracefully into his seat and she sat down next to him. She opened the bag and peered inside.

Unable to hide the delighted smile, she pulled out the item, a huge ice cream sandwich in a familiar wrapping. They were her favorite. She remembered the conversation a while back, telling Sid about the long drives she and her brothers would take with her grandma when they came to visit her in Pittsburgh. Outside of town they would always stop at an old gas station where there was an inexplicably huge selection of ice cream. Caroline would always get the Biggy Iggy, vanilla ice cream sandwiched between two huge chocolate chip cookies. It was almost as big as her head. A couple of summers ago her car broke down. The closest garage had been the same one she'd stopped at as a child. Sure enough the ice cream selection was still impressive and the Biggy Iggy was still their biggest seller. Since then, despite the distance from her house she visited the garage to get her oil changed and to get what was a nostalgic and comforting treat. Luckily she only went a few times a year, as the sandwiches were giant and far from healthy. She'd told him the story one evening a month and a half ago when Sid was telling her about a new guy the team had acquired and Caroline had joked Sid should buy some for Jerome Iginla as a welcoming gift. Sid had just laughed. It seemed like such a silly conversation that she was shocked he'd remembered.

"These are my favorite," she exclaimed.

"I know," he said, a small smile on his face.

Tearing the wrapper off the sandwich, she broke it and handed a half to him. "This will change your life," she promised.

He seemed taken aback a bit, but then with his eyes on hers took a large bite. She watched him expectantly, as if the biggest concern of her day was making sure he liked the sweet treat rather than the stability of their relationship.

Chewing, he smiled. "It's good."

She seemed pleased and took a bite herself. Closing her eyes took a few moments to savor the taste of comfort and sugar. Chewing slowly, she swallowed and opened her eyes, as she licked her lips catching a small smidge of ice cream that had escaped to the corner of her mouth.

"So goo-mmph!" her words were cut off by the sudden assault on his mouth on hers. He'd moved so quickly that she barely had time to register that he had crossed the distance of the couch and planted his lips firmly on hers. Caroline's eyes were wide and all she could see was the pinkish delicate skin of his closed eyelids and the start of a small pimple above his right eyebrow. His hand curled around her neck firmly and the light scrap of his fingernails against the nape of her neck, caused her to gasp in surprise. Sidney used that opportunity to delve his tongue into her mouth and eagerly explore the interior. In the instant Sid's tongue touched hers, Caroline closed her eyes and forgot about everything but the tightening in her stomach as the familiar feel of arousal overcame her.

He hadn't meant to kiss her. Sure he wanted to, hell, he always wanted to kiss her, to hold her, to just breathe her. But when he'd sat down on her couch, he really had the basic intention of hashing out the back and forth that had plagued them for weeks. He knew she'd be pleased with his peace offering. What he hadn't expected was the completely natural instinct to share the ice cream with him. Like she hadn't even thought twice. It was so typical Caroline. Even when they were at odds, she just naturally wanted him to have everything that she did. Experience everything she experienced, even something as simple as a childhood treat. Then when she had closed her eyes and the serenity passed over her face, despite the raw bruises on her dewy skin, it took his breath away. The sight of her small pink tongue as it journeyed around her mouth and he was gone. The primal need to touch her, kiss her, took over and he lunged.

She tasted so sweet. He couldn't say if it was from the ice cream or just the flavor of Caroline he'd grown to crave, but nevertheless having her soft and pliant mouth on his was just what he needed. They had to talk, no doubt, but not right now.

His broad chest pushed into her. The crispness of his shirt clashing against the soft worn t-shirt she'd had for years. Her hands lightly clutched his biceps as his mouth plundered again and again, desperate and filled with need. With one hand on her neck, the other grasped her waist and in mere second Sid pushed Caroline against the arm of the couch and onto her back. With great care he hovered himself over her as her arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him close. She moaned into his mouth as the weight of his body on hers pushed her into a heightened state of arousal. His tongue masterful, his lips unrelenting, as both party seemed content in breaking down a complicated conversation into a tangle of lips and tongues, frantic for one another.

Sid inched Caroline shirt up further and further, his mouth never leaving hers. His hand explored her soft skin, until his palm discovered the pebbled nipple of her bared breast. Flicking his thumb against the tight nerves, he elicited another moan from Caroline's mouth. Smiling against her lips, he worried the flesh between his fingers and felt his pants tighten instantly. Wanting to reach more of her, his left hand moved from her neck to her cheek, as he sought to pull her jaw up and closer to him, wanting to drown himself in this surge of affection that started off so innocently. But as soon as his hand touched her cheek, she winced and pulled away from him.

It was like cold water splashed upon the both of them.

Shit. In the moment he had forgotten about her bruise and now he'd hurt her.

Sidney leapt from her immediately.

"Oh shit, Care, I'm sorry. Are you ok?" He looked at her as her face screwed up in pain. Her lips swollen from his kisses, her chin chafed from the stubble of his playoff beard rubbing against her skin, her face flushed from a desire she had felt only moments before the pain of his calloused fingers against the tender skin broke their trance.

Caroline scrambled up the couch, pulling her t-shirt back down and leaning against the cushions as her fingertips touched lightly at the marred skin.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just really sensitive," she seemed embarrassed by the turn of events. Fumbling towards the coffee table she rifled through some items until she came up with a small tube. "It burns from scraping against the gravel," she explained. "This stuff helps." She shakily worked at the tube, trying to unscrew the cap, as Sid just stared dumbly at the scene. Finally his senses kicked in. Taking the tube from her, he unscrew the cap easily.

"Here, let me," he said quietly and she turned those wide eyes on him.

With great care he squeezed out a dollop of the cream onto his index finger. Very delicately his finger brushed against her cheek, his eyes trained on the wound, as Caroline's eyes were glued on him. Slowly he swept the cream over the skin that burned under his fingertips, back and forth, instantly bringing relief to the irritated skin. He was so close, he could hear the unevenness of her breathing as well as feel the puffs of air that escaped her parted lips. When he was done he blew lightly on her cheek, hoping to cool the heated skin.

"Thank you," she said staring up at him.

He looked at her, his fingers fiddling with the tube nervously, "I didn't mean to hurt you." His voice was low and shaky and they both knew he didn't just mean her bruise.

She swallowed, "I know," her voice barely audible.

Adjusting themselves and finding themselves back into safe positions for a conversation they sat silent for a few minutes.

Finally Sid spoke.

"I...ehm," he cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his head. "I haven't been very good to you lately." He hated saying it but it was true.

"Sid," Caroline started, but stopped when his hand came up to silence her.

"I haven't. I'm ashamed of what happened in my apartment. I know I acted too rash in the hospital. I've said things I shouldn't have and I haven't been the man I need to be. To you. And I'm sorry. You're right about doing what I say. I know that I'm good at saying all the right things but I don't always follow through. I'm just not used to having someone to think about, this time of year. Usually I do this all on my own. I go into my little world, prepare myself. I become extremely focused and now I have more things I need to focus on."

"I don't want to make things harder for you," she interrupted.

"No," he said quickly. "You don't. This isn't your fault its mine. It's up to me to find the balance. I know how I can be. How closed off I can get. It's how I prepare, its how I succeed. By focusing on a single goal. But things are different now," he smiled. "Wonderfully different and I need to adjust. Unfortunately I didn't realize it until nearly too late," his face became serious. "Care, please tell me it's not too late." He looked at her, his face a sea of vulnerability, his eyes big and pleading.

Her heart went out to him. How could it not? She knew that he wasn't purposely shutting her out. They just came from such different worlds. It was a never ending challenge trying to relate to one another. But no, it wasn't too late. Her heart was too far gone for it ever to be too late.

"No," she said. "Of course not. I love you. I want to be here for you and support you. But you have to let me in. I know only a small percentage of what you go through, the pressure, the expectations. I know how hard it can be for you. But I want to help. I want to make things easier. I'll back off when you need me to, but sometimes you have to let me help you. In any way that I can."

He gave a hopeful smile but Caroline raised her hand before he could speak again. "But," she paused, hesitant to proceed. "I won't be taken for granted," her voice was firm and Sid was taken aback by her tone.

"Caroline," he started.

"No." she said, sliding herself a bit further from him, trying to gain some perspective. She couldn't think clearly when he was so close. "I won't have what happened at your place the other night happen again."

"It won't," he started his voice laced with regret.

She continued despite his reply. "I felt like a fool. You made us foolish, what we have. Like it wasn't important. Or at least not important enough to realize that the situation you put yourself in…can't happen. Not when you have someone. Someone you love and care about and don't want to hurt. Because," she swallowed the bowling ball in her throat. "It hurt, it hurt a lot."

He didn't say anything, but rather just stared at his knuckles bulging from his clasped hands.

"I know I don't understand a lot of things, I know that your world is big and foreign and every time I think I have a grasp on how stuff works I'm completely thrown for a loop. But I know how I want to be treated. I know where my limits lie. And I know that when you look at me and talk to me like I'm a child who doesn't understand what the grownups are talking about and you think that its ok to have another woman touch you like that, when you know how I feel, whether I'm completely off base or not. It's not right and it hurts and it makes me worry about us." She spoke in a rush, rambling a bit incoherently but also trying to convey to him that whether Cameron had other intentions or not, Caroline wasn't going to let her cross the line, however innocent Sidney thought it was.

"You're right," he stared at his hands, then looked up at her, "You're right. I didn't think. I didn't believe you, I thought you had made the mistake. I don't have an excuse for Cameron other than I didn't think. I didn't think about how it would affect you if you saw something like that. No matter how innocent it was. I don't ever want to hurt you. You have to know that. And I was stupid. I forget what it's like for everyone else and it's not fair."

His face was completely open and honest and she believed what he said. But Cameron wasn't going away. At least not without a fight, Caroline knew that for sure.

"I know you think that Cameron is beautiful and sophisticated. That she has some upper hand because what she does and how she looks. Believe me, I don't mind telling you every day that there is nothing about her that I find appealing because it's the honest truth. I guess that's why I didn't really think about the massage, because I feel nothing when I look at her. But that doesn't matter. And I'm realizing that. I can't say what I would do if I saw another guy touch you like that. It would destroy me. And I hate that I made you feel that way. I told her after you left that nothing would happen between her and me. I made it clear that she is a member of the Pens organization and that's it."

Caroline gave a relieved smile, satisfied with his statement. Relieved entirely by the honest and direct conversation they were having.

"She's probably going to keep trying," she said lightly.

"Well, it won't do any good," Sid replied. "Caroline, I'm so sorry."

She knew he fully meant it.

"It's ok," she shrugged.

"It's not. And I'm sorry I haven't been more supportive of what you've got going on. I'll be honest, I haven't made an effort really."

Caroline looked away, "I know."

"It's not fair to you."

"No, it's not. My stuff is never going to be as glamorous as yours, but it's important. And not just to me, it's important to a lot of people and I have to have you respect that."

Sid nodded, "You're right."

"I know what happened has you concerned about school but..." her eyes began to well, "Sid please understand I can't leave my job, I know you're worried and you have every right. I didn't quite understand at first, but I know now I need to think of you too when things happen and understand that this doesn't just affect me. But there has to be a compromise. There just has to be."

Sid was quiet, then spoke, "I have never been so scared in my life," the low timber of his voice trembled. "Caroline, when I saw you in that hospital bed..." his voice caught, "I...I've never felt so helpless. And I'm not used to feeling like that. I hated those guys and what they did to you, I wanted to pulverize them. I really did, I still do. But I know asking you to leave your job would devastate you and I don't want to be the cause of that. Because all it will create is resentment and divide us and that is the last thing I want. Having said that though, there need to be some precautions made, if only for my piece of mind, you know?"

Caroline felt her heart clench. She hadn't been fair to him. Underestimating his worry. How scary this had been from his perspective, how she'd dismissed his feelings of being as terrified as she'd been. This was partnership. When something happened to one of them, it happened to the both of them. It was a foreign concept in so many ways but also just so simple. It was all just now sinking in. That they were in it together. For better or for worse.

She was relieved to hear that he wasn't so adamant about her leaving any longer. "I can talk to the school, I know they want a safe environment for everyone. I will make sure I don't leave by myself. I'll even carry mace if you think that will help." Her eyes were wide with reassurance, hoping that he wouldn't change his mind.

Sid nodded. "That's a good start. I just don't want anything to happen to you like that again. I don't think I could stand it."

His words brought her a sense of security and her face lit up as she just remembered something.

"Sid, they found them. I haven't told you. Mr. Dixon came to see me. They caught the kids, one came back asking about me and he confessed. I'm not sure what's going to happen next, but at least they know who did it."

Sid grew nervous. They had her wallet. What if the guys when released came looking for her? What if they wanted revenge? A million worries spun in his head.

Sensing his concern Caroline sought out his eyes. "Sid? It's ok, it's a good thing." She smiled encouragingly.

"I'm worried about your safety, what if they come looking for you?"

Caroline looked startled. She hadn't thought about that. Not at all.

"They won't," she said with a confidence that wasn't really there. The boys wouldn't come to her house. That would just make things worse for them. Plus her father was retired Army. It was doubtful anyone would get past him.

"How long are your parents staying?" Sid asked.

"Until Monday, after my appointment." she replied.

He looked relieved. "I'll be back late that night. Will you come stay at my place? I'll feel so much better knowing your there. I should be in around midnight. Tuesday is our off day. We can spend it together. Doing whatever you want. No distractions, I promise. Please, Care?"

While she may not have liked the authority he'd used earlier in the hospital, telling her what to do about her job, Caroline couldn't help but love the protective nature that came so instinctively to him. And the idea of just the two of them all day together was heavenly. Her eyes soften by his insistence and she nodded yes.

Gently he pulled her close and into his embrace. She rested her unmarred cheek against his chest while she heard the quiet intake of breath as he buried his head in her hair. It was a good talk. Everything of issue had been discussed. They would keep moving. Hoping that they would remember today and how important it had been to communicate and talk things out with complete honesty. Was it naïve to think that all the pressures and outside forces wouldn't cause future conflicts? Sure. But if they were to move forward, together and happily so, they would have to hold onto this foundation and prepare for it to be rocked again. Because it would be. In so many ways they would never imagine. But right now there was understanding. There was communication. And most of all there was love. And for right now, that was enough.


	15. Chapter 15: Fonder

Caroline was pacing.

Moments earlier she'd gotten a text from Sid telling her the team was boarding their flight back to Pittsburgh and would be home just after midnight. After a hard fought physical game tonight, the Pens had emerged victorious and would be returning home up 3-1 in the series. She felt odd mulling about Sid's penthouse without him here, but true to her word she had come over after dinner and watching the game with Shane and Sara at a little dive bar in the couple's neighborhood. The crowd was chill, not your typical sport fans, but during the playoffs everyone was a Penguins fan. No one seemed to bother the trio as they blended in wearing their Pens gear and cheering on the team as the grueling game ended in overtime, a final score of 2-1. Sid had the assist to Kunitz who easily tucked the puck into the corner of the net ten minutes into OT. All smiles she had said goodnight to her friends, stopped home to grab her belongings and now here she was. It had been a long day. A roller coaster of emotions. She should go to bed but she wanted to see him. Then she could sleep.

* * *

She hadn't wanted to say goodbye. As they sat on her couch, she listened to the steady rhythm of his heart beat, her body curled into his. The talk had been good. Helpful. Productive. Necessary. Caroline couldn't help but think they had only skimmed the surface. But the bad stuff, the things that threatened to become toxic had been worked out. If that's what you could call it. It was a lot of promises to do better, be better. Apologies that came easily and declarations they vowed to live up to. They were the same that way. Eager to please. Not wanting to dwell on issues that in the whole scheme of things, just wasn't worth it. Instead they both took responsibility, swallowed their pride and found the common ground that a lot of people might not have conceeded to so easily. But it was different with them. Time was precious. Alone time rare. And Sid was right, with the upcoming trip away, the hard feelings could compound, morph, into something that didn't need to be. So this was easier.

But it wasn't fair. Now that they were mending, he was leaving again. It was becoming a pattern. Just when everything was finding its sense, he was off.

Caroline felt him reluctantly pull away and gave a sound of disappointment, pulling him back to her. Sid pressed his lips to her temple. "I have to go," he said sadly.

"No." Caroline replied petulantly.

He gave a low chuckle. "Care," Sid started.

"I know."

She burrowed into his chest once more. "Give me a minute," she mumbled into his collar. She wanted to just store this feeling, soak up enough to fortify her for the next three days. It wasn't fair she thought again. They didn't even get to the make up sex.

He let her stay like that, his hand running up and down the slope of her back. Until finally she pulled away.

Her eyes were bright. Moist.

Nevertheless, she mustered a smile and lifted her chin, presenting her lips to him. He gave a small grin and dropped his mouth onto hers. It was brief, but tender and sweet.

"I'm glad we could talk," she said when the kiss ended.

"So am I," Sid replied. "I love you."

"I love you too." Caroline replied.

"Take care of yourself," he instructed standing up. "Let me know if you feel dizzy at all or anything seems off. The first 48 hours after a concussion are the most crucial. Don't ignore anything. No matter how minor it seems. If you wake up during the night...for any reason, I want you to call me. No matter what time it is. Ok?" His eyes searched hers.

She stood and nodded, "I will, I promise."

He pulled her into his arms once more, "I'll call you tonight," he promised.

And then he was gone.

She watched Saturday's game with her parents. Which was surreal. She had to explain everything to her mother, while her dad seemed to know a lot about the sport despite not being an avid fan. It was weird watching the announcers talk about Sidney and the camera seemed to follow him everytime he was on the ice. He got into a few scuffles which for some reason made her blush in front of her parents. Although there was no audio, it was pretty obvious some of the words coming out of his mouth while he skated away from the melee. It was clear that the Penguins were dominating. Sid was playing great and despite the phyicality of the game, the Pens won easily 5-2.

Four hundred miles away the visitors locker room was buzzing. The second desivive win of the series had the Pens feeling confident. Sid fielded questions from the media but not before he alerted the small crowd that he would not take any questions regarding Caroline or what had happened to her. The statement he'd given yesterday had been necessary but at the same time he wasn't going to turn what happened to Caroline into a sideshow. Heading back to the hotel he joked around with his teammates, the camaraderie was a welcome change from the chilly reception he'd received in the morning. No one wanted to be the guy to tell their captain that he needed to get his head back in the game, not when the reason he'd been away was due to an attack on a loved one. They were all sympathetic regarding the situation with Caroline but at the same time this was the playoffs and they needed the heart of their team. No one ended up saying anything. But they didn't need to. Sid knew. He could ask every guy on the team, how they did it, how did they manage to balance family and hockey especially during playoffs. How do you pour your heart onto the ice and then have something to bring back home? They could give their advice, their words of wisdom. It would all help, but the truth was no one really could completely relate. It would always be harder for him. But all that meant was he'd have to work extra hard to make it work. He was used to that, hell, he was made for that. He was relieved they had talked but now was the time for action, for results. It was work. It was really hard work, relationships, but the payoff...it was worth it.

Sid let himself into his room, he changed into shorts and t-shirt and checked his phone for messages. Among the texts from friends and family was Caroline's message, _Congrats! Love you :)._ He pressed a few buttons, in seconds her voice came on the line. The corners of his mouth turned up as he settled himself against the headboard and began recounting his day to the one who mattered most.

* * *

Caroline gave up on the pacing. She poured herself a glass of water and settled into the lush couch and turned on the tv in attempt to pass the time until he arrived. She settled on some lame tv movie on Lifetime, that was the perfect kind of mindless stimulation she needed. The plot was truly ridiculous. A young woman gets married to the love of her life but he is tragically murdered on their honeymoon in some generic tropical location. She refuses to leave the island until she finds out what happens, which ended up being her husband living a double life and was murdered by his scorned lover. The girl of course falls in love with the detective on the case and blah blah blah they lived happily ever after. It was really terrible, but there were a lot of love scenes that captivated Caroline. It had been over a week since she and Sid had been together in that sense and she was feeling really...well, horny. Pressing her legs together she tried to distract herself from the pulsing growing between her legs. Turning to the food network she focused on a rerun of Chopped. Somewhere between the dinner and dessert round Caroline found her eyelids getting heavier and heavier. Before the champion was crowned she had fallen fast asleep.

* * *

Monday couldn't come fast enough. Caroline felt like she was nearly healed. The bruises had faded to a light yellow hue that was easily covered up with make up. She had a few scabs that were healing nicely and the headaches had stopped. She had an appointment with her doctor at 11 o'clock that her parents would take her to. Provided everything went well, she would be cleared to go back to work and her parents would return to Ohio. Which couldn't come soon enough. She loved her parents dearly, but it had been way too much together time. Mostly her father read and watched television, while her mother did her laundry, cleaned and fussed about making sure Caroline was comfortable and that she had taken her medication. Caroline felt terrible, she seemed completely unappreciative of her parents help, really she would have been a mess all weekend if left alone. She hadn't had any more nightmares but still felt...tender...spooked almost. She'd talked to Sid every day since he'd left. He'd done all he'd promised. She felt a part of things. He told her about his day and how things were going. She told him about her day which was less thrilling and filled with more silly observations and chit chat. Sunday night the conversation had turned more intimate. Snuggled deep under the covers they spoke in quiet whispers through the phone. Not really talking about anything more than the short time till they would be together. Low voices spoke of melancholy and anticipation. Sid's voice dropped an octave as he mused about all the things he wanted to do to her and her body. Caroline echoed the sentiments, her voice always more tentative in these conversations. It didn't escalate like conversations had in the past, conversations that usually ended with both parties sated and craving more. It wasn't like that, instead it built an anticipation for time together. Without distraction.

The doctor was impressed with Caroline's improvements. He performed a few tests and upon satisfation with her recovery removed the stitches above her eyebrow. With a clean bill of health, Caroline nearly bounded out of the doctor's office, so eager to call Sid and give him the full report. She could hear his smile over the phone upon hearing her news. She spoke a mile a minute expressing her delight and relief that she could finally put some closure to a very ugly situation. Just as she hung up the phone with Sidney, her phone buzzed again. Recognizing the school's number Caroline answered the call. It was Mr. Dixon calling to check in and updating her on the status of the boys from the parking lot. Caroline had chosen not to press charges, but the school had. They refused to become a statistic among urban schools and wanted to send a message of no tolerance to the community. The boys had plead out with a settlement of community service and a restraining order stating they could not come within 100 yards of the elementary school. Mr. Dixon had spent the morning in court, giving a statement on behalf of the school and the importance of preserving a reputation the faculty and staff had worked so hard to build. He also told her how he'd expressed to the court how beloved Caroline was to the Garfield family and how this event had affected her. She blushed at his words and was grateful that she didn't have to be present for all of that. But there was one thing. Before the restraining order was put into place, the boys wanted to meet with Caroline. Well, actually the mothers of the boys were insisting they meet with Caroline and offer an apology. Mr. Dixon was tentative but hoped Caroline would come by the school today at 4 o'clock to meet with everyone. Caroline stood stock still in the parking garage of the medical center, her parents sending her worried looks as they waited to head out for lunch. After a moment, Caroline agreed to the meeting. This would be the complete closure she needed. She wished Sidney would be here to go with her, but it was probably for the best that he wasn't. Caroline hung up and told her parents the news. They were adament that they stay and go with her, but Caroline refused. She was an adult, she was an independant woman. She could do this. She needed to do this.

She calmed her parents all through lunch, voicing words of reassurance that she needed to believe as much as they did. They dropped her off at home and collected their belongings. Long hugs and tearful goodbyes, mostly from her mom, Caroline thanked them for everything. She waved goodbye as she watched their car pull out from the driveway and head down the road out of sight. She took a few deep breaths then went to get ready.

Caroline wasn't sure how'd she feel when she got to the school, but as soon as she pulled into the parking lot the butterflies started. Then they turned into pterodactyls churning in her belly. She thought about calling Sid, but realized this was something she was going to have to get through. Taking a few deep breaths, she grabbed her bag and made her way into the school.

"Caroline, girl, it's so good to see you!" Lorelei Davis' voice was a soothing comfort when she entered the Main Office of the elementary school. The school secretary always had a smile on her face, but today the smile was especially bright. The heavyset woman ambled out from behind her desk and enveloped Caroline in a big hug. "We have been thinking about you honey. Everyone has been so worried about you," she held Caroline out for inspection. "You look so well."

Caroline gave a bashful look and mumbled a response pointing to the few scars and scabs that remained.

"Well I think you look wonderful." Lorelei gushed. "We've been praying up a storm for you. And sweetie," Lorelei paused. "You are a brave brave girl coming here today. I'd be locked up in my house for weeks you know. But you young ones, you bounce back so quick."

Caroline didn't want to break the illusion by telling Miss Davis that she was scared out of her wits, so instead she just gave a weak smile and mustered a quiet thank you.

As Lorelei fawned over the young teacher, a door opened and the tall wide frame of Mr. Dixon caught Caroline's view.

"Caroline," his voice boomed with reserved delight, as he came to her in just a few strides. He guided her to his office for some privacy and a little prep session for the meeting.

He told her that the five boys were in the conference room along with two sets of parents and two single mothers. One of the single mothers had two boys that had been part of the incident. All of the boys were 15 and younger. That surprised Caroline. They'd seemed so much older. Bigger and more intimidating. Making sure she was ready, the two made the short trip to the room and as Caroline smoothed her damp palms on the blue cotton dress she'd worn, thought she'd throw up.

Twenty minutes later it was all over.

She'd sat on one side of the table with Mr. Dixon, the school superintendent and a member of human resources. The boys and their parents sat on the other side. They wore dress shirts and ties, looking extremely uncomfortable. Mostly they avoided her gaze, except for when their mother's would elbow them to look up and speak clearly. They all had written letters. Apologizing to her for what they had done. Expressing regret and making promises to use this incident as a catalyst to change their behavior. Upon really seeing them and not just the blur that had surrounded her just four nights ago, she saw that really were young. Mr. Dixon spoke when the boys were done. He gave them a pretty intense tongue thrashing, as the superintendent and HR director looked on with stony looks. Caroline could see the remorse and that's all she needed. They were misdirected boys who'd fed off false confidence of one another and thought they could use that to get what they wanted. She didn't want to ever see them again, but she wouldn't let this incident control her.

The boys filed out and Caroline stayed back with the administration. They expressed their hope that she would continue working at Garfield. Her students missed her and Caroline nearly lost it, when Mr. Dixon handed her an oversized card made from construction paper from her students telling her to "Get Well Soon." Holding it together, she assured the staff that she wanted to return and would do so on Wednesday. Shaking their hands, she thanked them for all their help on the matter and then she made her escape. In record time she made it to her classroom and closed the door, locking it behind her.

Then she burst into tears.

She clutched the card and just let the tears pour. The emotions, the intensity of it all overwhelmed her. The best case scenario had resulted, but she was still so shaken up. After some time she collected herself and looked around her room. Everything was the same as she'd left it. The collage of field trips hung on the wall directly across from her. The smiling faces of her kids looked back at her and she knew she'd made the right decision. The flowers from Sid sat in the corner on a window sill. Despite the days that had passed, they were holding up pretty well. They'd been well taken care of, she could tell. Kinda like her. She smiled at that and the face of Sid that conjured up in her mind. In just a few hours she would see him.

* * *

She was floating.

At least that's how it felt as Caroline came to. Sleep curtained her eyes and she was disoriented. But as she came to she realized she wasn't floating, she was being carried. It was dark but she knew it was him. His arms felt familiar and in the shadows she could make out his outline. He held her gently, one arm under her knees, the other around her back. Her arm had instinctively wrapped itself around his neck when he'd lifted her from the couch where she slept. She blinked a few times, becoming more alert.

"Hey," she croaked as he crossed the threshhold of his bedroom.

She could see his smile by the brillance of his teeth.

"Hey," his voice soft.

Sid deposited her gingerly onto his bed. Then sat down next to her. His hand brushed back the hair on her forehead.

"You can go back to sleep," he whispered, a small smile on his face. He looked good. His hair was getting long, he'd gelled it into place, but a few curls had escaped and fell across his forehead. He had a few scrapes on his face and the stubble has grown, it was heavier above his lip and along the back of his jaw. It had been three days but in some ways it felt like it had been weeks.

"No," she said, fully awake now. She scooted up the bed and leaned against the headboard. She was still wearing jeans and her Crosby jersey, her feet barefoot. "I'm up. What time is it?" she rubbed at her eye.

"Just after one," he said, his large hand on her thigh, his thumb idly rubbing at the inside of her leg. "There were storms, we had to circle for a bit. I'm glad you are here. I've been thinking of this all day."

She smiled widely. "I have too. I missed you so much more this time." she told him truthfully. Everything she needed to talk to him about, flew from her mind.

He leaned towards her and in the darkness of his bedroom, his lips brushed against hers and he was truly home.

* * *

Caroline debated taking the flowers with her, but figured the kids would enjoy them more, they would just sit at her house while she was at Sid's. She took inventory, trying to see if there was anything she needed to grab before she went home to recoup before the game.

A knock at the door broke her concentration. She saw Pete's head through the window and hurried over to open the door.

"I heard you were here," he had an easy smile on his face. His shirt unbuttoned at the collar, his tie loosened indicating the end of the day.

"Yeah, it's been kind of crazy," she replied back, sort of embarassed about all of it.

"I'm glad you're ok," Pete said seriously, his face coated in concern. "We all are."

"Thanks, Pete." Caroline smiled geniuninely. "I'll be back Wednesday. Can't keep me away," she joked.

Relief blossomed on his face, "I'm so glad to hear that. Some people didn't think you'd come back, but I knew you would. You're a tough cookie Reid."

Caroline felt her cheeks redden involuntarily.

Pete gave a strange look, then cleared his throat. "Erm, so you heard about the grant, I imagine."

Caroline brightened, "Yes! I'm so excited. I can't wait to get started on everything."

Pete grinned, "I know, it's awesome. We're getting more and more details everyday. There is going to be a special dinner and presentation ceremony on Friday. The bigwigs in Washington are going to come up and present the check. It's going to be a big thing down at the Omni. Fancy huh?"

"Very," Caroline smiled widely.

"The committee, the administration, even the guys from the district will be there. Oh and you can bring a plus one, so that superstar boyfriend of yours can come." Pete gave a wry smile

Caroline felt the air shift awkwardly. "Great. And you can bring that student teacher from the music department I keep seeing you ogling over," she replied teasingly.

"Oh yeah, good idea." Pete looked like a light bulb had just popped over his head. "Well, I gotta run. Glad you're coming back Caroline, seriously, you were missed." He gave a light wave and slipped out the door

* * *

It didn't take long for them to lose all their clothes. In the morning they would take their time, appreciate one another slowly and tenderly. Tonight both of them just needed one another in a way that could finally feed the want and need that had been building for days. Limbs and tongues tangled as Sid hovered over Caroline, his bulk blanketing her naked trembling form that was screaming to be touched. Hands roved everywhere and in moments he'd flipped them pulling her across his thighs and bringing her center right to his rigid erection that bobbed in the low light. Rubbing herself against the organ, she fell forward and crushed her mouth to his. He was ready for her, but she just wanted to taste him for a little longer. She grinded herself against his thigh, as his hands crushed around her waist. She felt his short fingernails curl into her skin and she felt like she was on fire. Tearing her mouth from his, she peppered kisses down his throat until she found the sharp protusion of his Adam's apple. She kissed the beloved and tender spot, as her hands delved into his hair.

"Ride me, Care." she heard him whisper against her ear. His breath was hot and it tickled. She knew he was about to come undone and she was just as ready. Sitting up, she put her hands on his chest and lifted herself up, never breaking eye contact. Slowly she sank herself down onto him, her body knowing just where to go. She bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut for just a second as her body accomodated the girth it had been without for going on ten days now. Finally her muscles stretched and the pleasure overtook her. Holding her tight at her hips as she found purchase on his shoulders they moved together, she rose and fell over and over again, each stroke bringing about another level of pleasure. Sid's hips snapped up meeting her stroke for stroke, as he voiced his approval and arousal. She felt the tightening coming too soon. She wasn't ready yet, she wanted more. Sensing this he slowed down his strokes and flipped them back over. Now above her, he took his penis in hand and rubbed it over her folds, teasing her but also slowing things down for just a moment, acutely aware that she wasn't ready to climax and finding the control not to do so himself.

"Can you feel me?" he asked the obvious question.

"Y-y-y...yes," she stammered, every nerve ending alive and strumming.

"Can you feel how hard I am for you?" he said hotly against her ear, then buried his head into her neck nipping and sucking at her silky skin. His free hand found hers bringing their interlocked fingers just to to the side of her head. As he continued to rub himself harder and harder against her, the tip of his cock massaging her clitoris as it throbbed with desire.

"Uh huh," she breathed. "C-c-can you feel how wet I am for you?"

She felt him smile against her skin.

"I can, Care." And with that he surged into her.

Moments later she was gone, mind numbingly gone, with him just a few strokes behind her.

He collapsed onto her and she welcomed the feeling of his sweaty, hot, hard body against her. She couldn't think. All she could manage was a feeble, "love you."

But that was all he needed.

_***Author's note: I'm pretty sure the Pittsburgh justice system doesn't move that fast, but I seriously needed to move things along and was ready to wrap up that storyline. So once against suspension of disbelief. I know some are irritated with the wait on these chapters, believe me I am too, but life happens and I find myself needed a lot of time nurturing the chapters into something I like. Unfortunately for the way I write that takes a lot of time :/. I have point A. and point B. but getting there can sometimes be very challenging and ends up requiring a lot of revision. But your patience and kind words continue to be my fuel and I love y'all for it. :).***_


	16. Chapter 16: Just a Day Part I

He woke before she did, which was rare. In the morning, they could always be found in the same position. Sid laying on his stomach, his legs sprawled while Caroline burrowed in next to him, her cheek pressed up against his ribs, her lower leg tangled in his. His arm typically slung across her back, curling her into him as her light puffs of breath tattooed into his skin. Mornings with her were his favorite. They were the quiet time before the world and its expectations and responsibilities barged into the little life they'd formed together. It was times like this that they were more than boyfriend, girlfriend. They were family.

From his vantage point he could see just the top of her head. The chocolate waves flowed down her bare back which was soft and warm under the heavy hold of his arm. Carefully he shifted himself, pulling his arm away and twisting over onto his back. Giving a slight moan of protest, Caroline rolled with him digging herself now into his right side, her nose rubbing at his skin, her naked body pressing fully into his before the lure of sleep swept her away again. Sid draped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close as she showed no sign of waking soon. He thought to the night before. Arriving home late after a long long day. The game had been brutal. Tough, physically exhausting. Wanting nothing more than to sleep in his own bed, Sid had been antsy on the flight home. The team plane had been quiet. Everyone had worked their asses off that night to pull out the W and were barely able to keep their eyes open. Sid on the other hand just couldn't sleep, he was too keyed up and impatient to get home. Eager for the reunion he'd come home to Caroline cured up in the corner of the couch. The sight had assaulted him. In a world of variables, she was the constant and here was proof of that. He'd dropped his stuff and peeled off his jacket, his tie long gone and quietly approached her. He'd sat on the couch looking at her, the table side lamp cast a glow on her face. The bruises were nearly gone, a slight yellowish tinge beneath her eye was nearly all that remained. The road burn that had been raw and red days earlier were healing nicely. Her cheeks were pink, her nose covered by the light smattering of freckles that made her seem younger than she was. She was at such peace. Her face void of hurt, anger, concern and all the other emotions that had taken over the past few weeks. It had been so good and he'd fucked it up. Sid was always one who took a lesson from something, no matter how tough it had been. He had to. That was the only way he could make sense of things. So he had to believe that this roller coaster of late meant something. Was building them up to take on anything. Stifling a yawn, he'd scooped her up as if she weighed nothing. He'd never say anything but the past few months she'd leaned up a bit. He still enjoyed the fullness of her ass and slight pouch in her belly but over time they'd changed. He smirked to himself wondering if the new "exercise regime" they'd taken on was the reason. Whatever the reason her body, soft and supple, pliant in his hands continued to turn him on like no woman ever had. It was the most wonderful thing about love. Being with someone you loved and cherished brought a level of arousal he hadn't anticipated. He'd been with beautiful, gorgeous women. Perfect in every sense of the word, but none of them burned under his fingertips like Caroline's skin burned. None of them touch him with such reverence and care that he felt every nerve ending was short circuiting. And with none of them had he lost himself so completely that he didn't know where she ended and he began. There were times when Caroline was pressed so tightly to him, that her heartbeat matched his heartbeat. Her skin melded into his skin, and when she looked at him, really looked at him it was most soul bearing, intimate, vulnerable feeling he'd ever had. And also the absolute best.

And now he held her. His hand wandered from around her shoulder to her waist, his large hand sweeping over her bottom, still enough fullness to his liking. His fingers brushed against the dip where her ass ended and her thigh began. It was so soft. His hand swept up and down her flesh until the semi erection he'd woken up with had gone full mast.

Caroline felt his hands on her. It was more soothing than erotic. Just comforting and intimate. It warmed her and pulled her from unconsciousness to her current surroundings. She rubbed her cheeks against him, then brushed her lips against his smooth skin. Heavy-eyed she glanced up at him and found his complete focus on her. She managed a sleepy smile, "Good Morning."

His eyes crinkled in that she loved as an intimate smile grew on his face,

"Morning."

Realizing that he was totally awake and as it seemed had been for a while, she gave him a curious look, "Whatcha doing?"

"Watching you," he said, his eyes dancing playfully.

Her cheeks reddened.

Smiling he drew her in and kissed the crown of her head. "Is that creepy?" he asked, his tone light.

He felt her smile against his chest. "A little bit."

He pulled her hand from its resting place on his chest and moved it lower. "Then this is probably even creepier."

She took him in her grasp immediately and turned her head up to face him. "Not creepy," she whispered, gently squeezing the length of him as her hand moved up and down instinctively. "More like pervy," she bit her lip, "But I kinda like pervy." And with that she raised her mouth to his and captured his lips in a thorough kiss.

They stayed like that for a while, kissing lazily, mouths moving slowly and deliberately, tongues heavy and sluggish exploring each other. Caroline's hand moved languidly over his penis, the pad of her thumb caressing the tip gently. Finally Sid didn't think he could take much more.

"I'm going to cum in your hand like some teenager," he said, dragging his mouth from hers.

"That's ok," she said smiling up at him, her body laying halfway over his as she went in for another kiss.

He accepted her kiss, then dragged his mouth to her jaw line and nipped playfully at the skin.

"Not for me," he replied and in seconds had her underneath him as his body sought hers. To his delight she was more than ready for him and he slid into her easily. They rocked together, finding their natural rhythm. Sid's hands encased Caroline's as he buried his head between her neck and collarbone, tasting the flavor that was so distinctly her.

Sometime later, they lay sated. Boneless and lethargic. Embraced in the afterglow. Their quiet solace interrupted by the sound of grumbling stomachs. Caroline giggled and announced she would make breakfast. Sid made his way to the bathroom, while Caroline searched his dresser drawer for a t-shirt to wear. She opened the second drawer where all his shirts lay neatly folded and arranged and a familiar black box caught her eye. Glancing quickly at the bathroom drawer, she listened for the buzz of his electric toothbrush. Upon hearing it, she picked up the box, snapped it open and there was the ring. It had been just over a month since that night, but it some ways it seemed like ages ago. Caroline stared at the large diamond that glistened as soon as the sunlight hit it. She looked at it, mesmerized by the colors that reflected out and into the room. She heard the water turn on and knew he'd be back. Quickly she snapped the box shut and placed it back under his clothes. Caroline grabbed a shirt and shoved the drawer closed haphazardly. Slipping on the t-shirt she made her way out of his room and to the kitchen. Seconds later he emerged from the bathroom, ready to start the day. Walking by, the drawer caught his eye. He paused for a second, his eyes trained on the second drawer down, only half way closed. Sighing, he pushed the drawer in and made his way out into the kitchen.

"So what should we do today?" Sid asked over a mushroom and green pepper omelet. He was sitting at the marble island watching Caroline as she flipped the other omelet onto her plate and took her place next to him. She leaned over and tucked a bit of his hair behind his ear and shrugged.

"Anything," she replied, picking up her fork and cutting into the eggs. Before she knew it, he hauled her to him, kicking away the stools and lifting her onto the island, his legs bumping her knees apart as he fell into her. His hands delving into her hair as his mouth crushed against hers. She tried to speak, completely taken aback by this random burst of desire but it was just muffled against his insistent mouth as he kissed her long and deep. Quickly she gave up figuring it out and kissed him back with equal fervor. The simple gesture of hers had turned him rock solid and filled him with an insatiable need for her. While the eggs got cold, he peeled the t-shirt from her as her small hands quickly pulled at his nylon shorts. They were joined instantly. Caroline dug her nails into his back as he filled her, pounding into her steadily. Noises of appreciation poured from her mouth as he spoke words of encouragement into her ear. She couldn't think of anything as his hard solid form pressed up against her, the delicious pressure of him filling her, stretching her, completing her, as they fell into a steady motion. Breakfast and hunger pains completely forgotten. To be honest either would be happy if the day's plan just turned into how many flat surfaces they could find to fuck on.

After some creative positions and an hour or so later they collapse on the couch. Feebly Caroline crawled into his lap, her arms around his neck, her head resting on his shoulder. They were quiet, each catching their breath from their zealous reunion.

"Why do we always end up with cold eggs?" Caroline said smiling into his neck.

"What about it scares you the most?" he asked, ignoring her statement.

Caroline didn't need him to clarify.

"All of it," she whispered. All humor from her voice gone.

"It's overwhelming," he said. It wasn't a question.

"Yeah."

"Because of who I am?"

"Because of who I am." she replied. "Because I as much as I want to, I cant wrap my mind around it. There's so much to think about. I have so many questions, so many...uncertainties. Not about us, just about making it all work."

"Shoot then."

Caroline turned to look at him, moving off his lap, but he held her in place.

"Ask me a question."

"Where would we live?"

Sid didn't miss a beat. "Here during the year, Nova Scotia in the summer. But only if you want that. If you wanted to stay here. I'd understand. We could do short trips in the summer, lots of guys do it. I can train anywhere."

"Do you want children?"

"Yes."

"How many?"

"I'd always thought four, but it's your body I imagine its up to you."

She thought for a moment. "Four would be nice. It would be busy," she mussed.

"What else?"

"Would you want them to play hockey?" It was a silly question but her mind was racing thinking of these imaginary children.

"I'd like them to, but mostly I'd just want them to do what they love. I was lucky enough to find my passion at an early age and spend my life doing it. I would wish that for them."

She was tentative about the next question. "What would we do about the money part?"

He was silent for a moment, then spoke. "I'd imagine what's mine would be yours and vice versa."

"I'd sign something." her voice quiet.

"Absolutely not." he replied quickly.

"But what if..." she trailed off, not really wanting to focus on the idea that they'd ever be apart.

"What if nothing." his voice firm.

She was afraid of what to say next, but if they were going there, then...  
"How can you be so sure?" She stared at the picture frame on the side table, it was a photo of him and his family at what must have been a lake in Canada. Sid and his dad held up fish, while a young Taylor and Trina smiled into the camera. She couldn't look at him all of a sudden.

"Hey," his voice soft. The pads of his fingertips touched her chin and turned her to look at him. She faced him, but her eyes darted to the side. "Look at me."  
Finally her eyes met his. And when she looked at him, really looked at him she had to wonder where the concern came from. His eyes held such tenderness, such reassurance, such love.

"I love you. It's that simple. Call me crazy but I have a feeling you're not after my money." He gave a wistful smile, "I want to build a life with you, start a family, grow old together, do all the things people do. I can't predict the future, but who can? You gotta have a little faith." He smiled at this and brushed away the tears that were slowly trailing down her cheek.

Unable to speak she just nodded.

He pulled her closer to him. "It's ok to be scared, overwhelmed, freaked out. But please Care don't ever doubt that a day will go by that I wont love you and want you to be mine forever. You and me. That's it. We're a team, no matter what happens, how tough things get, how bone headed I can be…at the end of the day I love you. I'll always love you and for me that's enough."

Caroline nodded, her eyes welled up, "Me too. I love you. So so much." She pressed herself fully into him.

"Now I have a question for you," he said looking at her seriously when they finally pulled apart. Caroline felt her heart race. Now, was it going to happen now? While they were sitting naked on his couch at 11 o'clock in the morning?

"Will you…cook me some new eggs?" His face broke into a grin.

Caroline didn't think twice as she grabbed a nearby throw pillow and slung it across his head.

"Ow!"

* * *

They had to get out of the house. Caroline didn't think she'd be able to walk the next day if they kept up their current speed. Sprawled out on the bed wearing just a towel cinched around her, she looked over at Sid and his matching white towel secured tightly around his waist. His fingers were flying over the screen of his iPad as he checked and replied to some email. He'd promised only 15 minutes of hockey stuff then he was completely disconnected for the rest of the day. Now what to do with the remainder of the day…

"Golf?" Sid suggested. Caroline crinkled up her nose and shook her head.

He tried again, "Movies?"

She shook her head again, "No, I want to be able to talk."

"Ok," he thought for moment, his face a mask of concentration. "Zoo?"

Caroline didn't want to shoot all his ideas down, but the zoo in the spring on a school day was not her idea of fun. But he was on the right track as an idea came to her.

It was still completely hidden after all these years. Thirty minutes out of town, right on the OH/PA border. She and her brothers had discovered the clearing on a hike as kids. For years they'd visited the state park with their parents. One time they'd gone off the beaten path and a long while later they'd found an area where the trees weren't so thick and a steady stream stemming off the Ohio River ran through. The hilly area had created a series of small waterfalls that seemed completely anonymous to the world. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to find it. But the memories were etched in her mind so clearly. She hadn't told him where they were going. All she'd said was a picnic. He and his bottomless stomach had agreed easily. Caroline insisted on driving. They stopped at a Whole Foods on the way out of town stocking up on breads and cheeses (for her), cold chicken and fruit (for him) along with a bottle of wine. The storms had kept most people away and the ground was damp. But sun was shining now and a beautiful and rare warm day had been born. She'd led him by hand through the series of turns and twists. And just when he was sure they were completely lost, the forest became less dense and the sound of running water filled the quiet.

"Here it is!" Caroline exclaimed. She hadn't been here in years but it was exactly the same. The familiar surroundings brought about a rush of memories and suddenly it felt special that he was here with her. It was a beautiful sight. The trees reached high into the sky, the sunlight filtering through the branches not yet bloomed. There was a slight cliff that overlooked the stream and the heavy rain had the waterfalls moving at a steady pace. The ground was a mix of grass, old leaves and twigs laying like carpet.

"It's beautiful," he said, looking around. He meant it. He'd never seen such a peaceful place in the states before. Sure the mountains of Colorado and the beaches of California came close, but this place was different, more intimate. It reminded him so much of Canada that he felt a pang of homesickness for just a brief moment.

Caroline looked pleased and slipped her hand back into his, squeezing it gently. "Isn't it lovely?" she breathed, taking in the sight then turning her head up to him.

He just nodded.

Leaning up she pecked his cheek then grabbed the bags from his grasp. She ran ahead and quickly unzipped the sleeping bag they'd picked up from her house when she'd stopped to feed Eliot. Laying the nylon side down, she smoothed out the blanket and knelt down to begin unpacking the grocery bag. They feasted on treats and sipped at the wine taking in the beauty of nature. It was so tranquil, so peaceful. It was just what they needed. They chatted and joked. Kissed and laughed. Caroline had developed a weird fetish of getting Sid to catch things with his large mouth, so she delighted in tossing grapes in his direction. He of course caught nearly ever one. They lay quietly after eating. Sid outstretched on the blanket, his hands laced together behind his head. Caroline lay next to him, his elbow and bicep serving as her pillow. They fell in and out of a light sleep, a much needed nap. The sounds of the water and birds their lullaby. After a short while Caroline opened her eyes and leaned over him taking his lips in hers.

"Are you awake?" she whispered against his mouth.

"No," he replied sleepily, the fullness of those lips stretching into a wide grin.

She swatted at him and then turned to her side, spooning herself into him. Keeping one hand behind his head, he pulled the other arm around her.

"I saw those boys yesterday," she told him.

Sid jerked more awake now. Turning his head down to face her, she looked up at him, a sad look on her face.

"Dont be mad," she said quietly.

"What happened?" he asked cautiously.

She told him the whole story, leaving out the part about breaking down in her classroom.

Sid just looked at her gob smacked.

"I didn't want to tell you over the phone and well, there's been a lot to talk about. That's why I haven't said anything til now. I wasn't trying to hide it from you," she added quickly.

Her eyes searched his, "Are you upset?" she asked tentatively.

He shook his head. "No. No, of course not. I wish I could have been there with you. You know, support."

Caroline gave a gentle smile, "I wish that too. But it was good. Closure you know? I'm just glad its over. Tomorrow I go back." her voice was hesitant but firm, gauging his reaction.

He just stared at her.

"Are you sure you're not mad?" she asked unsure of the look on his face.

"You just amaze me. That's all. I just can't get over you sometimes. You're one of the bravest people I know. I've always thought so you know."

Color stained her cheeks.

"Oh I don't know about that..." she said flustered.

"You are...more than you give yourself credit for."

Caroline felt uncomfortable by the compliment and thought how to change the subject. The conversation with Pete popped into her head.

"Hey, there's this thing. Well it's more than a thing. It's a special dinner on Friday. A ceremony. We're gonna be honored by the education committee and they will present the check for the grant we got. I think a congressman or someone is going to be there. And...we can bring a guest. I know you have a lot-"

"I'll be there," he interrupted.

Caroline looked surprised. "Really? Are you sure? "

"Of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world," he said seriously. "This is a big deal. It's your accomplishment and I want to be there to cheer you on. After everything you have done for me, it's the least I can do. Friday is an off day whether we win or lose tomorrow, so I will absolutely be there, supporting my girl."

Caroline felt her face grow even hotter but the grin on her face was dangerously turning permanent. Then without warning she squealed in excitement sitting up and embracing him as he came up with her. She hugged him tightly.

"This means so much to me! I wanted you to come so bad, but I didn't want to pressure you with everything going on. But I've worked so hard on this and you can meet everyone and they wont bother you too much I promise, I'll make sure. Only a few schools were selected and we were one of them. It's going to change everything for Garfield and those kids." She was talking a mile a minute. Sid just let her talk, informing him of every detail as he listened attentively, knowing that he'd neglected being there for her with this. He could finally make it right.

* * *

Caroline insisted they go down to the waterfalls. Treading gingerly she sidestepped her way down the steep slope to the bottom of the falls where the stream flowed. Over the years it had widened and now looked like a legitimate river. She stood on a rock as Sid came up behind her. They watched the water for a few seconds, then without warning Sid peeled off his long sleeved shirt and began toeing off his shoes.

"What are you doing?" Caroline asked looking at him.

"Come on, let's go swimming." he said excitedly.

"Sid, it's probably freezing." Caroline reasoned.

"Nah, it's warm today." His hands were at the button of his jeans and Caroline felt the inexplicable need to look away.

"Caroline, it can't be that cold. It will be fun." He shoved off his jeans and stood in just his boxer briefs. His fingers played at the waistband. "Skinny dip? There's no one around."

Caroline's eyes widen. "No, I mean ok, I'll go in with you but not skinny dipping, what if someone comes?"

"I highly doubt it, you said it yourself this place is completely secluded." he replied.

Caroline did remember saying that as they fell further into the brush seeking out the spot.

"Brave remember?" he said raising his eyebrows and smirking at her.

"Not that brave," she muttered as she peeled off her t-shirt.

He watched her as the shirt came over her head. She pulled off her socks and shoes, then set to work on her jeans. Sid couldn't help but feel a stirring in his briefs at the sight.

Finally she stood awkwardly in just a light coral bra and panty set that could easily pass for a bikini. Despite the fact he had seen her naked more times than he could count, most recently just a few hours ago, she self consciously curled her arms around her middle covering herself. Sid just rolled his eyes and grabbed her hand, pulling her into the water.

They swam around for a while, the water was considerably deep and was chilly at first but they adjusted rather quickly. Splashing and laughing the whole thing was disgustingly sweet and wholesome. Caroline ducked under the water and emerged pushing the wet strands of hair back, as the water dripped from her eyelashes and nose. "It actually is pretty refreshing," she commented happily.

Then she saw it. There floating on the surface of the water. Sid's underwear. Her eyes darted from the floating fabric to his face. He wore a wicked smile and curled a finger towards her.

A rush flowed through her. But she played coy. "Sid..."

"Pervy, right?"

She nodded.

Then in an instant he crossed the distance and shot an arm out and curled it around her waist, pulling her close like she was a prize fish he'd just caught.  
Flush to his chest, he smiled ferally. "Lucky for me you kinda like pervy."

And again her words can back to haunt her.

But she wasn't complaining.


	17. Chapter 17: Just a Day Part II

They floated towards a remote area by a waterfall. Her legs hooked around his waist, her arms linking around his neck. Flush to him, she could feel his arousal. She smiled goofily. Skinny dipping was something she would never do. Even just a few minutes earlier the mention of it freaked her out.

But now?

Now it didn't seem like such a bad idea. But he was going to have to do it she thought slyly.

"What's that look?" Sid asked smiling. Their faces were only inches apart. His curls plastered to his forehead, drops of water lingered in his lashes causing them to lump together in dark spikes. He had a flush to his cheeks that added to his boyish handsomeness and Caroline just wanted to freeze this moment.

"I'm thinking skinny dipping doesn't seem like such a bad idea," she said, biting her bottom lip playfully.

His smile changed from curious to knowing.

"See, I told you so," he said with a tone of mock arrogance.

Caroline's face turned solemn. "There's just one problem…" Her fingers played at the damp hair at the nape of his neck.

Sid frowned.

"I don't think I can reach, I need some help." Caroline gave a pretend pout and Sid's eyes darkened.

"I'm very helpful," he replied.

Caroline smiled, "I know you are."

His fingers worked deftly at the clasp of her bra and Caroline reluctantly let go to let the undergarment float in the cool water. His hands came to her hips and with her assistance, the panties soon joined the water's surface. She resumed her position wrapped around him and smiled nervously.

Instinctively Sidney drew her closer, knowing despite the excitement of this, she was still a little shy.

"You do realize this is highly unsanitary," she said only half joking.

But Sid didn't care. He took in her wet hair and dripping nose. Her light bruise and small scrapes and began trailing his lips lightly over her face. He brushed his mouth across the bruise on her cheek, the scrapes above her eye and on her chin. Caroline's smile grew small and intimate. She closed her eyes, feeling weightless in the water and in his arms. Sid moved his lips down to her neck, a peek of his tongue tracing the veins along the slender column. Caroline was sure she must taste like river water and told him so.

"No," he said. "You taste delicious. He buried his face into her neck and spoke lowly into her skin. "I love tasting you, touching you, making love to you. I love everything about you."

Caroline felt her face go aflame and she suddenly became flustered by his words. Sid pulled back at looked at her. His eyes bottomless, his lips swollen. "You're perfect," he said, brushing a thumb across her cheek.

Embarrassed, she wanted to look everywhere but at him, but knew she couldn't.

"Nobody's perfect," she said quietly, her eyes searching his, challenging him to take back the declaration, but his gaze was unwavering.

"You're perfect to me," he replied. And then he kissed her.

* * *

It was nearly dark when they left the park. After some various forms of fooling around in the water they'd gotten dressed, both choosing to go commando as putting on wet underwear on a late afternoon that was quickly cooling was not appealing to either party. They made plans on the drive home to have dinner at a little Italian place in Sewickley. A mini date Sid called it. Something simple but special to end what was turning out to be a flawless day. Caroline dropped him off at his place then drove home to get ready.

An hour later there was a knock at her door. Caroline had just applied the final swipe of mascara when she heard it. Smoothing her hair down, she bounced excitedly to the door to greet him. He was casually dressed, his hair gelled in efforts to calm the unruly tangles that his longer hair was prone to. He returned her wide smile and leaned in to kiss her.

"You didn't have to knock," Caroline said after his lips brushed against hers. She'd worn a simple navy printed wrap dress and flats, her hair blown dried straight and flowing down her back. She wore her makeup a little heavier than usual covering up her injuries.

"Well, I wanted to make it official," he replied easily, presenting a small bouquet.

She giggled, taking the flowers and letting him into the house. Gathering her things, he dropped off his. They'd agreed Sid would spend the night, seeing that Caroline had an early morning tomorrow, a morning that Sid wanted to be around for in case she became nervous or apprehensive about going back to work.

The place he'd picked out was a favorite. Located downtown, the small modest restaurant was quiet on a Tuesday evening, although Sid called ahead to make reservations. Upon greeting the couple, the hostess led them to a quiet corner of the restaurant where not many tables were occupied. The owner soon came out to say hello and Caroline smiled politely as the older Italian man fawned over Sid and his "bella donna." The restaurant was sweet. Red and white checkered table clothes, large black and white images of Italy hung on the walls. Wickered baskets of Chianti on the tables along with a votive candle lighting the dim restaurant. The menu was classic Italian. No bells or whistles. Sid ordered his usual spaghetti, while Caroline went with the chicken marsala. A few diners approached the couple while they waited for their food. It wasn't terribly invasive, just a few autographs but no pictures and of course everyone wished him good luck on the game tomorrow.

When it was just the two of them, Caroline spoke, "Are you nervous about tomorrow?" she asked.

Sid shrugged, "Yeah, I mean there are always nerves, but I'm used to it."

Caroline felt like she was getting the canned answer he'd give to any regular joe that met him on the street.

"Sid," was all she had to say.

He gave a wry smile. "No hockey talk today, remember? Today is just about us. I don't want to bother you with that stuff."

Caroline reached out across the table and took his hand. "Please bother away. It's a big deal. Just because today is your day off you can still talk about it. Its important." She looked at him, urging him to open up.

Sid conceded. He'd promised afterall, not to be closed off when it came to pressures and expectations.

"It's stressful," he said honestly. "Winning tomorrow would make things a lot easier. If we lose, we go back to New York and that arena is tough, the Islanders are physical and are really good for an eight seed. There is a lot of pressure on this series. We havent gotten out of the first round the past few years and after last year...well, we have to get past the first round. The expectation is to go all the way and anything less..." he trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence.

"You guys are playing them really well though." Caroline replied, her heart going out to him. "Your power play is really making the difference and they've been racking up the penalty minutes with some stupid mistakes. They are physical but it seems to work in your favor with all the time they spend in the box. You just can't take their bait." Caroline spouted everything she'd remembered from the announcers last night and the people at the bar analyzing the game.

Sid gaped at her, completely flabbergasted by her analysis. "How did you...nevermind. You're right. We just have to stay focused and stick to our game, then it will all fall into place."

Caroline nodded and gave a reassuring look and a cheeky smile, "Piece of cake."

Sid barked out a laugh, "I like your confidence." he replied.

They were interrupted with the arrival of their food. Picking up her fork, Caroline quirked an eyebrow, "Well, from what I've heard, that Crosby is pretty good."

Sid just laughed and dug into his dinner.

They ordered a tiramisu to share for dessert. While waiting Sid excused himself to go to the restroom. Caroline noticed a teenage girl at a table across the restaurant sending anxious looks in Caroline's direction. She looked no older than thirteen and was at a small table to with an older couple. Caroline locked eyes with the girl and gave a friendly smile. She was used to the looks, usually she tried not to make eye contact but this girl seemed pretty safe. The girl shot out of her chair and was to Caroline in a few quick strides.

"Hi," the girl said nervously. She was tall, gawky, awkward as adolescence had reared its ugly head. She wore her bushy hair in a pony tail and her glasses were large and thick and not in that cool hipster way. She wore a Sewickley Academy Panthers sweatshirt and wiped her hands against her jeans.

"Hello," Caroline said brightly trying to put the poor girl at ease. Immediately the teen began to fidget and Caroline couldn't help but see the fourteen year old version of herself staring back at her.

"Um, I didn't want to bother you when you were eating and I don't want to bother Mr. Crosby, but I was wondering if you could ask him for me for an autograph...for my brother." The girl thrust a pen and a torn part of a paper place mat.

Caroline smiled and took the pen and paper, "I'd be happy to. If you wait just a moment he'll be right back." Caroline said kindly.

The girl's eyes grew wide. "Oh no, that's ok. I don't want to disrupt his dinner. My brother is a really big fan. He thinks Sidney is going to win the Hart this year, he leads the whole league with points and that's even after the bad start and the games he was out with the wrist injury. And I...he, thinks the Penguins are the favorite to win it all. If you could just have him sign this I can come back and get it when your done. I mean if that's ok. I just don't think I could ask him." the girl looked pleadingly at Caroline and it was obvious she was painfully shy and nervous to meet the superstar.

"I understand, but I know he'd like to meet you. You seem very knowledgeable," the girl looked slightly panicked. "But," Caroline continued. "I'd be happy to ask him for you. You know, for your brother." Caroline took the paper and pen. "What's his name?" The girl stared back dumbly, then her face and neck flushed. "Ma-Mallory." she squeaked out.

Caroline raised an eyebrow.

The girl's eyes darted towards the bathrooms. "I'm sor-"

Caroline put up a hand, "It's ok, Mallory. I'll take care of it." Caroline reached out and patted the girl's arm comfortingly.

Mallory gave a grateful look, then her eyes darted to the bathrooms again and her eyes nearly bulged out. "Thank you," she said hurriedly, then before she turned and left blurted out, "He's really hot, you're so lucky." Then she was gone, just moments before Sid returned to his seat.

Sid watched the retreating back of the girl as he sat down. "What was that all about?" he asked.

Caroline grinned, "You have an admirer."

Sidney gave a curious look and Caroline filled him in on her visitor, but left the "hot" part out. Writing a brief message on the paper, he excused himself and headed towards the table. Caroline watched as he approached the family. He placed a hand on Mallory's shoulder and handed her the paper. Shaking the hand of the couple he chatted easily with the trio. Mallory looked like she was going to lose it. A few minutes later he came back, sat down and began digging into the dessert that arrived while he was gone. Caroline just stared at him.

"What?" he asked his mouth full.

"She said you were hot and I was lucky." Caroline blurted out.

This time it was Sid whose cheeks tinged pink.

"And she was right," Caroline continued. "I am lucky, but not because your hot...I mean you are hot too, but you're the kindest man I've ever known. And I love you and I'm the luckiest person in the world because you love me back." She didn't allow herself to be self conscious of her words. It was the truth and he needed to know that.

He looked uncharacteristically bashful at her words. Then his eyes softened on hers, "I'm pretty lucky myself, I love you too, Care."

* * *

They stopped at the Sewickley house after dinner. Sid wanted to check in on his parents and say hello. They'd barely gotten out of the car when Troy came storming out into the driveway.

"Where have you been?" he roared. Caroline had always thought of Troy as a typical mild mannered Canadian. Sure he'd get super concerned over Sid and hockey but she'd never seen him raise his voice or even show any aggression. It made her uneasy.

Sid seemed equally taken aback from his dad's behavior.

"We just finished dinner." Sid said dumbly as Caroline came around the Range Rover and stood next to him.

"Everyone's been trying to get a hold of you," Troy said loudly, a vein in his neck looking like it was about to burst. Trina came into view, standing in the doorway.

"Troy," she said. "Let's not wake up the neighborhood, come inside." she looked worried and Caroline had to wonder what on earth had happened. Had someone died? Was someone hurt? Guilt washed over her knowing Sid had turned off his phone when they'd left for their picnic. He'd promised not to turn it on all day as he promised no distractions. She should have known there'd be a fallout to this.

They all filed into the living room and Troy rounded on his son. "Tanger is out. Torn ACL. Dan, Ray, Mario, they've all been trying to get a hold of you. But your phone went right to voicemail. No one could find you. They called a meeting to rework the power play and you weren't there." His voice was harsh and accusing. "What were you thinking?"

"It was an off day," was all Sid could reply. Caroline watched the father and son interact. Troy cast an intimidating presence. He wasn't a big man, but he was solid. It was a big deal that Sid had missed this information. She understood he was the captain and the leader of the team. It was his job to know everything immediately. But was it worth this attack?

"Sid you don't get off days," Troy said sternly. "You know that. This is the playoffs. We need complete focus at all times, there is no room for distractions." His eyes briefly glanced in Caroline's direction before boring back into his sons.

Caroline felt the dread wash over her. She got along quite well with Sidney's parents and she knew they liked her, cared for her. She'd felt like part of the family these past few months and now she was being downgraded to a distraction? She desperately worked to keep her emotions in check.

"Troy." Trina said quietly.

But Mr. Crosby was not to be deterred. "Son, you have obligations. You know that. Do you want these things to happen? To lose tomorrow because you weren't prepared to play without your number one defenseman? Then all you have is Saturday. That goes wrong and a week from now you'll be fishing on Grand Lake wondering what happened to your season. Is that what you want?"

"No sir," Sid said quietly. His complete demeanor had changed. The strong confident easy going guy had disappeared. He looked tired and defeated. His body taking his father's words like a punching bag.

"Then why on earth did you think it was a good idea to turn off your phone and disappear for the day without telling anyone?" his father yelled, clearly losing what little cool was left.

"Stop yelling at him!" Caroline exclaimed rushing forward. Sid shot an arm out in front of her, blocking her from going any further.

"Caroline, don't." his voice was low.

She didn't listen. "It's not his fault. It's mine. I told him to turn off the phone." It wasn't necessarily true, but kind of was in a roundabout way. The three Crosby's just stared at her. "It was only for a few hours." she said lamely. "He didn't know this would happen."

"Well it did," Troy cut in. "I'm getting calls from every member of the Penguins organization looking for you and I have to tell them that I don't know where you are or how to get a hold of you." His eyes were back on his son's, Caroline's words not making any difference to him.

How could he talk to Sid this way? Like he was some kid? Sidney was the best player in the entire NHL. He wasn't a slacker or irresponsible. He'd disconnected himself for a few hours, it was some fluke that something had happened in that short time span. Caroline couldnt wrap her mind around this reaction of Troy's. It was completely unfair. And Trina. She just stood there and didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry," was all Sid could say.

Troy looked from Sidney to Caroline and back to Sidney. His eyes like darts. Then his face softened just a fraction. "They've made a lot of concessions for you this past week. They understand what happened with..." He awkward gestured to Caroline and then cleared his throat. "They are willing to work with you when circumstances call for it, but this, this was just completely reckless and I know you know better."

Caroline wanted to tell Troy that Sid wasn't some teenager that had stayed out too late or took the car without asking. She hadn't thought that there'd be any backlash to him coming to her when she needed him. But the truth was they had made allowances for her and the harsh reality was that Sid was on call 24/7, no exceptions. And then there was the fear that Troy could be right. In just a week could Sid really be gone? Back in Nova Scotia, while she was here, alone? But it wasn't about her right now. She couldn't think about that.

"I'll call Dan right now," Sid replied. "I'll fix it."

He cast an apologetic look at Caroline then left the room quickly, leaving her alone with his parents.

Troy was rubbing the back of his head and spoke lowly and animated to his wife, who worked at calming him down.

"You shouldn't talk to him that way." Caroline said shakily.

The Crosbys stopped talking and turned to look at her. Caroline was scared but she needed to say this. She was so angry at Troy and frustrated with Trina for just letting it all happen.

"He's under a lot of pressure. He took one afternoon off. It's not the end of the world. And even if it was, he doesn't deserve to be treated like that."

"Don't talk about things you don't understand," Troy shot back.

Caroline stood her ground. "I understand that he needs support, especially from his family. He's killing himself out there for this city, for you, for this" she gestured to their lavish surroundings. "I know I haven't helped matters lately but he's doing everything he can to make everyone happy. Just...just cut him some slack. You're his parents."

Troy and Trina stared at her. Caroline couldnt stand to be there any longer. "I'll wait outside, excuse me." she said her voice wavering and she dashed out of the house.

They didn't come after her. She didn't expect them to. She'd crossed so many lines. She couldn't help it. He was their son. She climbed into the Range Rover and waited for Sid to return. About 20 minutes later he emerged from the house. His face blank.

He climbed in the car and turned it on, not saying anything. She kept quiet, watching him from the corner of her eye. His jaw was set, his eyes trained on the road. He kept one hand on the steering wheel, the other on the gear shift. Tentatively, Caroline took his hand in hers and squeezed gently.

Sid sighed. "I should have known. Tanger's knee was killing him last night. But they thought if he took it easy for a day it would be ok. I didn't think it was this bad."

"It's not your fault." Caroline replied. "You were just trying to make me happy. You deserve a break."

Sid gave Caroline a sad smile. "I don't get paid to take breaks, not now. I get a whole summer. Right now I need to be one hundred percent dedicated."

"And I'm a distraction." Caroline said softly, looking away.

"No," he replied immediately. "Absolutely not. He shouldn't have said that."

"And he shouldn't talk to you that way," Caroline replied. "You do so much. Like that girl tonight. You made her night. She'll remember that for a long time. They should be more understanding."

Sidney shook his head. "I owe them everything," he replied. "I wouldn't be here if it weren't for them. My dad has a responsibility to keep everything running smoothly. I get to play and he figures out the rest. I let him down."

Caroline felt a road form that she didn't want to go down. So she kept quiet.

They were both exhausted when they got home. Silently they got ready for bed too tired to do anything else. Laying in her less luxurious bed, Caroline snuggled up to him and pressed her lips to his, "I love you. You are perfect to me too, no matter what."

He smiled a genuine smile and pulled her close. Sleep came quickly and sent them off to a place where expectations and disappointment didn't exist if only just for a little while.

_***author's note: Thank you for all the awesome reviews from the last chapter. It's so much more fun to write happy Sid and Caroline. Some drama here, needed to express the stress Sid is under and how I envision a family whose personal and professional relationships blur the lines. I don't know anything about the crosby family, but I've always assumed troy plays a part in Sid's intensity to always be the best. Anyway, it's all pure fiction. btw, how enjoyable was seeing mega hot Sid with his summer tan and well trained body. Mmmmmm.***_


	18. Chapter 18: Blurred Lines

"Care..."

"Care, Caroline."

The sound of her name echoed in her dreams as she toed the line between consciousness and unconsciousness. It was the light shaking that pulled her fully from sleep. Disoriented she blinked her eyes a few times and found the source of the shaking in Sidney's hand on her shoulder. In the dark of the night it was hard to make out anything other than fuzzy shapes. She couldn't say what time it was or how long she had been asleep. She shifted and looked up at him trying to decipher his state of mind.

"Sid?"

He didn't say anything and as her eyes adjusted to the dark she could see that his face was troubled. Pained almost.

"What's wrong?" She was more alert now. "Are you ok?" Her worried voice seeming loud in the silence of her bedroom.

He seemed to struggle with a response and before she could fully sit up and diagnose the situation, he spoke in a quiet and hoarse voice.

"I need you."

And then he crushed his mouth to hers.

His sleep had been fitful. Falling in and out of a broken sleep, his mind playing and replaying the latter part of the evening over and over again. He'd made a mistake. He hated when he made mistakes. Rather than let it roll of his shoulders, he analyzed it. Obsessed over it. Here it was: the moment he'd waited for all year and just the slightest misstep could bring it all crashing down.

No.

There was no room for mistakes, not now. Sid heard the irritation in Dan's voice when he'd called. The coach had been terse and brief to the point. Sid could tell he was annoyed but in the end Dan just asked the captain to come early to morning skate to catch up on the changes. Dan knew better than to rattle his star player. He'd spent a career finessing elite athletes, being a players' coach, getting results without all the drama that plagued other clubs. Dan knew how to handle Sid although minus the dramatics of the earlier season it wasn't necessarily difficult. Sid didn't need motivation, he didn't need direction. He knew his purpose and he rarely did he disappoint.

No, it wasn't Dan he had to worry about letting down.

Ever since he was in skates he'd looked up to his dad. All throughout his young years he'd dreamt of being a goalie, jut like Troy. Or atleast Troy had tried to be. Not a day went by that Sid didn't think about all his father gave up for him. The sacrifice Troy had made at 19 was the same sacrifice Sid made every day since, wanting to make sure his dad didn't spend a day, a moment regretting his choice. And Troy was there every step of the way, pushing, inspiring, motivating his son to be the best. The thing was Sid didn't need the push, he didn't need inspiration and he didn't need motivation. They were all there, inside him. Poised and positioned to make him to be number one. There wasn't room for anything else least of all mistakes.

He'd let his father down. Seeing his face tonight brought back all the times Sid had faltered. The rare days when the bounces didn't go his way or the net just seemed a few centimeters too small. He needed his father to keep him in check, Sid reminded himself. His drive was unparalleled. His focus flawless. The desire consuming him and when he made that seldom misstep, Troy had no choice but to pull Sid back into line. Troy saw the whole picture, he'd been to the brink, only to be yanked back and Sid took responsibility for that. He'd talked with Peter the therapist about it. Skimmed the surface really. Peter had seemed concerned about Sid's perspective, troubled by the obligation Sid had adopted. No son, no man should carry that weight. But Sid hadn't minded. Hell, he'd thrived on it. It made him who he was. That was what hurt him tonight. Seeing that disappointment on his father's face, knowing without even realizing he'd let the man down. And it was the worst feeling at age twenty-six as it had been at eight. Troy, his mom, everyone had put an investment in Sidney, it had paid off and then some, but the ethic, the dependability, the reputation, no matter how much money he made, he would spend his career, his life, working to earn. His parents made sure of that. Managing his professional career, as well as, being that support system. They pulled double duty and they did it effortlessly. His mom dealt with more of the finances and the numbers, while Troy was front of the house. Keeping everyone happy and keeping his son at the top. Sid's wins were Troy's wins. Sid's losses, Troy's losses. The blurred lines creating a hockey bubble that seldom was penetrated. Except now he wasn't just a hockey player, a teammate, a son. He had new obligations, new responsibilities. Now he was a lover, a friend, a partner. Caroline would soon learn how it all worked. That his father tonight wasn't doing anything more than his job. It was that simple. But no matter how much he beat himself up over today's mistake, there was something, something else that kept him from finding sleep. It was that voice. The small voice in the back of his head that spoke up every once in a while. The voice nagging, telling him this wasn't supposed to be his father's job. He didn't need another agent, a mentor or a fan. He needed a dad.

His mouth moved desperately, his kisses erratic, almost sloppy. Frantic. Caroline wrapped her arms around his bare broad shoulders, as his body lay flush to hers. She could tell something wasn't right. She could feel the tension in his body, his muscles so taut that she worried holding on too hard would snap them in half. Her heart broke for him. She had to believe that the night's events were the cause of this sudden need. Trying her best to keep up, she moved her hands over his shoulders and up his neck to his flushed cheeks. Her small hands cupped his face, as she worked at slowing him down. She directed his mouth so that they now moved in sync, their kisses slower and more tender. Caroline moved her thumbs lightly over his cheekbones as she tried to pour all her love and reassurance into him. Wanting so badly for it to be okay and if it wasn't, she was there for him, ready for him in any way he needed.

Slowly and reluctantly he pulled back, looking at her. His face a sea of uncertainty and vulnerability. He looked…

Lost.

Not wanting him to sense her worry, Caroline gave a small smile and brushed her hand across his brow, her fingers ghosting over his hair in the most tender of touches. Sidney just stared, his face softening just a fraction and then buried his face in her neck. Kisses turned to nips that soon followed with soothing licks as Caroline threaded her fingers through his hair. Sid's hands came to her waist and he slid her nightshirt up the length of her body and broke away only for a moment to remove the garment. No matter how many times they did this, Caroline always got a rush of butterflies when she knew sex was imminent. His hands roamed all over, as he moved from her neck to her shoulder and ultimately down to the swell of her breasts. Caroline arched her back the second Sidney's tongue touched her nipple, as the blood rushed all the way down to the apex of her thighs. He swirled his tongue in circles until pulling the flesh all the way into his mouth. The pressure built and Caroline could only sink her fingers further into his hair, pulling him closer. The sighs and moans of Caroline's pleasure paired with the suckling sounds of Sid's mouth filled the quiet room. Releasing her breast, he moved to the other and began all over again. It wasn't long until his hand slid down her belly to the top of her panties and delved underneath, his fingers seeking her heat. Finding her drenched and ready, his fingers probed lightly until his fingers pushed up and inside of Caroline and her body readily accepted them. In and out they moved, his thumb pressing against the engorged bundle of nerves. Caroline's sounds of pleasure became louder and incoherent. His mouth worked at her breasts, as his fingers moved steadily and he could tell she was getting close. Pulling his fingers from her, they were a frantic tangle of limbs as they worked to remove their respective remaining clothing.

Laying back, Caroline spread her legs wide, inviting him in and in seconds Sid surged into her, just as his mouth closed over hers and swallowed her exclamation of pleasure. Unable to move slowly, Sid pushed in and out of her velvet heat that surrounded his cock in the most familiar but mind numbing fashion. His movements began methodic and steady but soon he found he couldn't keep control. Increasing speed, he moved in and out at a desperate pace, pumping into her faster and faster as Caroline tore her mouth from his and urged him on both verbally and physically. She grabbed his shoulders pulling him further into her until he felt like he would just disappear inside her. Finally he couldn't hang on any longer and just as he felt himself come completely undone, he heard Caroline's cry of completion. His mind cleared, all the noise stopped and he felt the release rush through his body, leaving him completely boneless and sated.

Release.

Caroline wasn't a distraction, she was his release.

He felt her pull him close, her lips warm on his sweaty temple and her arms tight around him. He knew this is the part she loved most, but tonight he was pretty sure he might need it a little more.

Turning them over onto their sides, he pulled her close, Caroline happy to snuggle into him, her whispering words, "I love you" the last thing he heard as he finally found a sound sleep.

* * *

The alarm seemed to come way too soon, Caroline thought as the incessant beeping alerted her to the time of 6 a.m. Buried in warmth and Sid, she would have given anything to stay in bed. Reluctantly she peeled back the covers and crawled out of bed, shuffling naked towards the bathroom, grabbing her robe on the way in. She heard the rustling of Sid behind her and his scratchy but playful voice, "You want company?" She grinned happy to hear him so chipper this morning after the intensity of the night before.

Looking over her shoulder she saw him sit up, the covers falling around his waist, his hair everywhere, his lean and muscled torso pale in the morning light. She gave him a cheeky smile, "And make me late on my first day back?"

"I can be very efficient." He replied a wide smile on his face. Caroline swallowed down the bubble of desire.

"Somehow I doubt that," she called as she continued her way into the bathroom. Before she closed the door, she peeked her head out. "You could put that efficiency to use though and feed the cat." And the closed the door before she could hear his protest.

An hour later, she was dressed and ready. She gathered her belongings off the dining room table and felt a sense of foreboding fall over her. She chastised herself for this unnecessary fear that had decided to show up. Those boys couldn't hurt her anymore. She needed to remember that. There would be security outside before and after school, she needed to just relax. Buttoning up her coat, Caroline wandered into the kitchen where she was met with delicious smells. Sid was busy at the counter.

"Well, I should be going," she said nervously.

He turned, a paper towel bundle in hand. "I made you an egg sandwich." He said, all business. He walked towards her, the wrapped sandwich stretched out towards her. Caroline felt the wave of affection as she reached out and accepted it.

"You'll be fine," he said quietly. Caroline nodded staring at the breakfast. She didn't want to go all of a sudden. She looked up, her face telling him everything. He'd barely had a chance to outstretch his arms before she fell into them, hugging him tight. Sid's arms closed around her and he held her.

"I'm a little scared," she said truthfully into his bare chest. She knew his feelings on her going back but she risked telling him anyway.

"I know," Sid replied. "You can do this, I know you can."

He sounded so sure, that she thought maybe he was right.

Pulling back, she gave a nervous smile and then slowly nodded.

"I'll take you," he said suddenly.

Caroline was taken aback, "Oh Sid, you don't have to do that."

"I want to," he replied easily.

"But I'll need my car," she said. "It's silly for you to-"

"It's not silly," he replied. "And I'll get your car there, I'll make a rookie drop it off." He gave a wry grin.

"You can't drive me to work forever," she reasoned.

"It's not forever," he reasoned back. "It's today. C'mon, let me do this." He smiled and she knew this is what he could do for her, after what she did for him last night. Being there for one another, it filled her with a warmth and suddenly it all didn't seem scary, not at all.

* * *

"You are so whipped, you do realize that, right?" Marc-Andre informed his friend as they walked through the Consol parking garage to Sid's Range Rover after morning practice. Sidney had convinced the goalie to go with him to Caroline's house to retrieve her car. Sid had appealed to Flower's soft side, telling his friend a little bit about Caroline's reluctance this morning. The Fleury's had become close to Caroline and Sid knew Marc wouldn't say no, it just wasn't in his nature.

"I'm whipped?" Sid asked incredulously, unlocking the SUV and climbing in. "How many times in the past week have you gone out in the middle of the night to buy Veronique god knows what to satisfy those weird cravings she's been having?"

"Hey, you don't mess with pregnant women, especially in the third trimester. Those hormones are no joke." Flower protested.

Sid just laughed. A few minutes into the trip to Caroline's, Sid spoke, "Hey man, when did you know it was the right time to take things to the next level with V? You know, when did you know she was the one?"

Marc-Andre just gaped at his friend. "Dude. What are you thinking of doing?" Flower knew his friend was head over heels for Caroline, but he didn't think Sid would be considering marriage already, he'd always been so adamant to wait until he was further into his career.

Sid ignored his friend's question. "I'm just wondering, when did you know she was it?"

Marc-Andre shrugged, "About five minutes after I met her. Thing was, we were 15 so I knew we'd have to wait a little while."

Sid was silent.

Marc scrutinized his teammate. "You know when you know, the problem is you have to figure out all the other stuff too. You know this man, it's not so simple. Not in this world. I knew that I could love Veronique forever when I met her, but I had to wait for my brain to catch up with my heart. It's more than just love, there are a lot of factors. Are you thinking of making the jump? If you are, I say go for it, but know it's more than you could ever think or plan for."

"What if I already went for it?"

Now Flower really gaped at Sid. His face covered in shock. "You're engaged? When? Why haven't you said anything? Holy shit. Are you keeping it a secret for a while? Dude, congratulations." Flower reached over and clapped his hand on Sid's shoulder.

"I'm not engaged," Sid replied.

Flower looked completely confused. "But you just said..."

"She said no." Sid said turning onto her street, his eyes trained on the road.

Marc-Andre was perfectly silent. Then burst into laughter.

Sid gave his teammate a dirty look.

"Man, I'm sorry for laughing. Really I am. I'm just picturing all of this. Obviously you guys are still together so it can't be all bad. What happened?"

Sid sighed and gave Flower an edited version of the story.

"I know you don't want to hear this," said Marc-Andre, "But she's probably right. Like I said, it's more than just sex and feelings. There's a lot of logistics you have to consider. It's not fun to think about that stuff but it's necessary. Especially for you man."

Sid sighed,"Yeah," he took off his cap, brushed back his hair and put it back on. "I just didn't expect it to be so complicated. I mean everything is complicated, I wanted this to be easy."

"Ha, marriage the is the most uneasy thing you will ever do. But it's also totally worth it. It's work and it can suck sometimes. But it's also awesome. It's showing another person everything about you, the good, the bad and the ugly. It's teamwork, it's compromise. It's realizing that they now have as much of say in your life as you do. It's partnership but it's also like having an agent. Someone looking out for you, keeping your best interests in mind. They will be your biggest fan but also wont let you get away with shit. It takes time. Don't worry bud, you'll get there and I'm pretty positive it will be with Caroline. You just need to be patient."

The pair pulled into Caroline's driveway her beat up blue Corolla in the driveway. "Thanks man," Sid said sincerely, glad to have gotten some perspective from his friend.

"No problem, whew, man I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for the proposal, was it a total shit storm?"

Sid could only nod, preparing himself for the ribbing Flower would unleash on his captain.

He was not disappointed.

_***author's note: This chapter was so challenging, I have literally worked on it every day for two weeks. Being a transition chapter its not as exciting or action packed as others, which is probably why it was so hard to write. Thanks for your patience and your reviews, they mean the world to me.***_


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